Page 50 of Roots of Redemption (Hicks Creek #4)

Chapter Forty-Four

Sutton

I walk outside of the hospital and plop onto a bench outside.

The cool air is needed. The air is still and heavy, the kind of quiet that only comes after chaos.

My hands are clasped in my lap, my fingers twisting nervously around each other.

I’m trying to keep it together, but the weight of everything feels like it’s pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

How dare he pay off the balloon payment without talking to me? For God’s sake, we never even discussed whether we were a couple or not.

That’s like a red flag, psycho behavior, right?

How does he know Doc Lucy is retiring? Shit, am I going to find out that he forced her into retirement?

I blow out a breath and shake my head.

Why is all of this irritating me so much?

Why am I questioning if it’s a red flag or not?

This man told me he loved me, and he’s been showing his love, not just saying it. Actions speak louder than words.

The door to the hospital opens, and I hear the soft shuffle of shoes against the concrete. Mrs. C’s familiar figure appears in my peripheral vision, and she lowers herself onto the bench beside me with a sigh. She doesn’t say anything at first, just sits there, her presence warm and steady.

“How’s Caleb?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Stable,” she replies. “The doctors are optimistic. He’s a tough one, that boy.”

I nod, relief mingling with the knot of emotions in my chest. We sit in silence for a few moments, the cool night air wrapping around us.

“What’s wrong, Sutton?” she asks gently, her voice like a balm against my frayed nerves.

I shake my head, swallowing hard. “Nothing. I’m just… tired.”

Mrs. C’s eyes narrow slightly, her gaze piercing in that way only a mother’s can be. “Try again,” she says softly.

The dam inside me breaks. Tears spill over, hot and unrelenting, and I bury my face in my hands. “I’m so confused,” I manage to choke out between sobs. “Everything… it’s just so much.”

She reaches out, her hand resting lightly on my shoulder. “Take your time, honey.”

I take a shaky breath, trying to steady myself. “Wade told me he loves me,” I begin, my voice trembling. “And I… I love him, too. But then I got offered my dream job in Wyoming, and he’s talking about me staying here. He didn’t even ask what I wanted. He just assumed I’d… do whatever he said.”

She listens quietly, her expression thoughtful. “And how does that make you feel?”

“Torn,” I admit. “Because I’ve realized how much I love him, but I can’t live like this.

I can’t live a life where my partner doesn’t consider me.

I’m not some damsel who needs saving. I’m not weak.

It’s my dad all over again. It was always this is what you’re going to do with your life, and not once did he ever ask what I wanted to do or why.

How the hell can I fall in love with someone who treats me the same way my dad does? ”

She leans back, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Oh, Sutton,” she says, her tone warm and knowing.

“Wade isn’t trying to dismiss you. He’s trying to help you.

He thought he was taking the burdens off your shoulders by offering solutions, by just taking care of things.

It’s something he’s always done for the people he cares about. ”

I frown, wiping at my eyes. “But I don’t need him to do that. I can handle my own problems.”

“I know you can,” she says. “And so does he. But you have to understand, he’s used to women wanting him to save them from everything, and I don’t think he realized that you don’t want or need it.

It’s second nature to him to try and fix things for the people he loves.

It’s not about thinking you’re weak. It’s just… who he is.”

I shake my head, frustration bubbling up again. “But that’s not what I need from him. I need him to see me as his equal, not someone who needs rescuing.”

“Have you told him that?” Mrs. C asks, raising an eyebrow.

I hesitate. “Repeatedly.”

She chuckles softly. “Give yourself some grace, Sutton. And give him some, too. He’s not perfect, but he’s a good man. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I think you’ll find he’s more than willing to meet you halfway.”

“It’s not…I don’t know…” I mumble, trying to form words.

Mrs. C reaches out and puts her hand on top of mine. “Sometimes we think it’s all very cut and dry. That our feelings are because of a certain reason, but if we sit back and think on it a minute, we’ll realize that it’s something bigger.”

“Like it’s more than my bad relationship with my father?”

“Oh, I definitely think that wound is giving you pause, but I do think there’s something bigger.

You probably don’t remember this,” she chuckles for a second as she pauses.

She squeezes my hand and continues. “You were about six years old, and some boys at church had told you that girls couldn’t do anything after you slid in some mud trying to help a little boy out of a tree.

You were so adamant that they were wrong that you started wearing a cape everywhere.

For the longest time, you would say that you were going to save Hicks Creek one day.

You even told your mama not to worry, because you would save the ranch one day if it needed it. ”

I pull away from her, tears filling my eyes as I look back at her in shock. I do remember that. I remember that little pink cape and that pink leotard that I wore everywhere, that always seemed to come off in the middle of the night and be perfectly clean the next morning at the foot of my bed.

But that’s not the part that’s hitting me like a freight train.

I came back to Hicks Creek thinking that I needed to save the ranch, the town, so that my dad would finally see how amazing I am. I’m not mad at Wade for paying off the balloon payment because I think it’s a control tactic. He stole my thunder, so to speak.

I wanted to be the one to rescue everything, and I did, I guess by finding the reasons the cattle were getting sick, but he stole the ability to save my dad and the ranch.

I groan, burying my face in my hands again.

“You’re enough, Sutton,” Wade had said to me.

All this time, I thought that I had to be the hero and then, and only then, the people of Hicks Creek and my dad would accept me and welcome me home with open arms. I thought I needed to be the hero to prove I was enough, to earn my dad’s love when all this time, I already had it.

My relationship with my dad isn’t great, it’s a work in progress, sure. However, the fact that he asked me for help and listened to my advice is a big deal.

Wade loves me, for me. He loved me before I found the cause of the illness before I saved his herd.

The people of Hicks Creek welcomed me with open arms before I even started working on the herds.

Wade isn’t the bad guy in all of this. My ego is bruised, and my wounds run so deep that I couldn’t pick them out without Mrs. C’s help.

“That boy loves you, Sutton. He might not always show it the way you expect, but it’s there. Loud and clear.”

I take a deep breath, the tightness in my chest easing slightly. “Thank you, Mrs. C.”

She pats my hand gently. “Anytime, sweetheart. Now, go get some rest. You’ve got a big conversation ahead of you.”

I manage a small smile, feeling a glimmer of hope. Mrs. C stands, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before heading back inside. I stay on the bench a little longer, the night air cool against my skin, and let her words settle in my heart.

I reach down looking for my phone and realize that I left it in the room. I sit there for a bit longer, running all the scenarios through my head as I do.

Wyoming and that job were my dream before I came back to Hicks Creek. It was my dream because I wanted to prove to my dad that I could be someone important.

I don’t need to prove anything anymore.

I wanted that dream before I fell for Wade, before I felt like Caleb was my son, too.

Damn, I really made a mess of things.

I wipe my eyes and stand up. I stretch, inhaling and exhaling slowly before I make my way back inside the hospital. I’ll get my phone, call Ronnie, and tell him that I’m not going to take the job in Wyoming.

Doc Lucy had offered me a job a long time ago, even mentioned when I got back that the offer still stood. I could stay in Hicks Creek surrounded by the people that I love, the town that I love, and live my happily ever after.

That was always the dream, to come back to Hicks Creek and give back to the town and people that raised me. The people who shaped me into the person that I am today.

That dream only changed because I thought my father hated me and disowned me. While things aren’t perfect between us, or even fixed, I know that leaving will only make them worse.

I’ve seen a different side of him while I’ve been home, and I really think that it’s a possibility that we can repair our relationship.

I’ve complained for so long about not being able to find a good man. Here I am, had one dropped right into my lap, and I’ve done nothing but push him away. I’ve been trying to run from him all along because I’m not used to being treated with love and respect.

That’s sad in itself.

I shake my head and make my way back into the hospital and up to Caleb’s room. Wade is sitting there leaning against the bed. His shoulders are slumped, but his entire body is tense.

I pick up my phone and see that Ronnie has texted me. I send him a quick reply.

“Tell the board that I don’t want the job. I’m staying in Hicks Creek.”

“Hey,” I say to Wade as I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about earlier. Can we talk?”

He doesn’t answer and I continue. “Ronnie called and offered me my dream job. I told him I had to think about it, but I just texted to tell him that I don’t want it. I want to stay in Hicks Creek, with you.”

“I saw the text,” he murmurs. He turns to look at me fully. “Are you sure that you want to stay in Hicks Creek? If this is your dream job, then—”

I put my hand up to his mouth to stop him.

“It was my dream when I thought I had to prove my worth to people, but…it’s not. You’re my dream.”

He looks back at me, a small smile playing on his mouth. He pulls me into a bear hug.

I don’t know what happens next, but I do know there’s no place I’d rather be right now.