Page 44 of Roommate Wars

I crossed my arms, not budging.

Elise struck a similar pose. “Just because we live together, that does not give you the right to tell me who I can and cannot see,” she said. But I was too busy glaring at Dickhead, who’d had the good sense to stand and move toward the door.

“If you’d read my texts,” I said slowly, angrily, “you’d know why this guy must leave. I’ve sent you six, by the way.” I glared at the man who’d stopped a couple of feet from me because I was blocking the door. “He’s the neighborhood gigolo. I caught him kissing 2240.”

Elise scrunched her nose in confusion. “Twenty-two… Oh, across the street? The well-preserved wife?”

I nodded.

“I’ll call you later, Elise,” Dickhead said and scurried out of the bedroom after I grudgingly stepped aside.

“Wait!” Elise called after him. “Is that true?”

The front door slammed shut.

He’d reached it fast. Must have run.

I peered down at her, arms still crossed. “You don’t believe me?”

Her expression was one of confusion and exasperation. “How do you know it was him?”

“He was wearing his work uniform—the hot-pink Luscious Stems shirt. And I saw his face.”

Her chest deflated, and she stepped back and sank onto her bed. “Damn, we had fun tonight. I guess it’s back to the drawing board.” She pulled out her phone and opened the dating app that was the bane of my existence.

The sound that came out of my throat was more animal than human. “Stop, just stop.”

“What are you talking about?” she said, but she was still scrolling through the faces of nameless men.

I grabbed her phone. “Quit dating. At least until you move out.”

She stared at me like I’d lost my mind. Which I had. “What are you talking about? What’s wrong with me dating?”

“Men are assholes. Except for me.”

She just stared, a look of disbelief on her face.

“Fine, sometimes I’m an asshole too…with you. Normally, I’m the one getting screwed over.”

She rubbed her eyes. “I don’t see what this has to do with me. Look, I appreciate you telling me about the delivery guy. He was fun, but not worththatparticularheadache, though I can’t fault his taste. Maybe I should date our neighbor and give up on men for a while.” She seemed totally serious.

I tipped my head to the side. “Can you do that?”

She pouted. “No. I’m straight as an arrow, and it really sucks because I might have better luck with women.”

“I doubt it. Your taste in partners sucks.”

She huffed out a gust of air. “And yours doesn’t?”

Fuck, she had me there.

Her eyes narrowed, seemingly seeing through me. “You can’t honestly expect me to stay home for two weeks.”

“Why not?” I said, like it made the most sense in the world.

She compressed her mouth as though she couldn’t believe how I was behaving. Icouldn’t either, so we were on the same page there. “I don’t know why you’d want me to not date, but the answer is no, I won’t stay home. I need to get out.” She said that last part cryptically.

I rubbed my neck. I wasn’t making sense—I knew that. But I couldn’t seem to help myself. Shit, even my dad was on Elise’s side.