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CHAPTER TWELVE

Tessa

Okay.

It wasn’t that bad.

I mean, yeah, my thighs were burning. And, no, I wasn’t wearing the right shoes for a hike. But it was actually kind of fun to get out in nature.

“Oh! Look at that!” I said, pointing off toward a rock where some sort of lizard was sunning itself.

“Looks like a chuckwalla,” Rook said, following my fingertip.

“Not quite as cool as those bighorn sheep, but still cool.”

“Yeah, who knew there were sheep in Death Valley?”

We were just scaling over a particularly craggy cliff when a small path opened in front of us, leading up into the colorful rocks we were looking for.

“It looks fake,” I said, stopping for a moment just to take it in.

It looked like someone had just splashed paint over the brown mountains, turning them shades of lilac, baby pink, and aquamarine. The higher up you looked, the darker the colors became until they met with the darker brown rock again.

“It really does,” Rook agreed.

My gaze slid to his profile, glad to find the same wonder on his face that I felt on my own.

“This was a great location idea.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Now, the only question is: how good of an actress are you?”

“I’m pretty sure I can fake shock and joy.”

“Good. I’ll make sure the camera is set to take like a million pictures so we can go through them and find the most convincing ones. How about we climb on top of that rock? The backdrop will be insane.”

As silly as it was, there was an unexpected twisting in my stomach as the strangest thought crossed my mind.

I wish this could be a for-real engagement.

I was glad Rook had started ahead of me to get up the steep hill because I felt the rush of water in my eyes and needed to blink it rapidly back before it leaked down my cheeks.

What the hell was that about?

I wasn’t someone who’d ever fantasized about grand romantic gestures—real or fake.

Though, if I were being painfully honest, that was because nothing in my life had ever even hinted at the idea that something like that could belong to me.

And here it was.

But it was fake.

I sucked in a deep breath and started climbing, having to bend forward to use my hands to grab the rocks so I didn’t just… slide right back down the side.

“You alright down there, babe?” Rook asked, looking down just as I lost both my footing and hold in unison.

My belly bottomed out and my heart shot up into my throat as a gasp escaped me.

But before I could slide, or—worse yet—fall, Rook’s hand closed around my wrist, yanking hard.

“I got you,” he said as I pedaled my legs, trying to find my footing. “That’s it; climb to me.”

With that, I did, getting to the top of the somewhat flat hill with my heart still thundering against my ribcage.

“Hey, you’re alright,” Rook said, his hand sliding up to grab my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “I wouldn’t let you fall,” he added, hand moving up to the side of my neck as I tried to slow my breathing. “You’re okay, Tessa,” he told me, fingers gently rubbing at the tension in the back of my neck. “I probably should have gone up with you instead of ahead.”

“I’m okay,” I assured him, exhaling slowly as my eyelashes fluttered open. “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah,” Rook agreed as I looked around. “It’s perfect.”

“Can you take some pictures just for me?” I asked, having left my phone in the car. “For keepsakes,” I added.

“Definitely. I’ll get some of the landscape, then some of you in it,” he said, already going to grab his camera.

With that, he took pictures of the colorful rocks before instructing me where to stand to take pictures just of me.

Then, of course, it was time to stick the camera in the tripod and get on with the real reason we were there.

Rook looped a little handheld remote around his wrist and used it to take a few pictures of me as I looked around.

Then he approached me.

“Just act like we’re enjoying the landscape,” he said, his hand sliding around my lower back.

That wouldn’t be hard.

I was.

“Now turn to me,” he instructed after clicking his remote a few times.

I did.

I watched as he lowered to his knees and reached into his pocket.

It was fake, it was fake, it was fake.

But the way my heart started to skip around sure felt real.

“Tessa, will you fake-marry me?” Rook asked as I pressed my hands to my face the way I’d seen countless women react to a surprise proposal.

I watched as Rook flipped open the top of a navy blue jewelry box to reveal the ring that would be sitting on my finger for the foreseeable future.

It was like he’d snatched my vision of the ideal ring right out of my mind.

It had a simple white gold band. But featured a large kite-shaped stone that I figured was a green sapphire. Though I honestly didn’t know much about stones. To each side of the main stone were five little diamonds in the shape of an X.

It was unique and fun and just… exactly what I would have wanted.

If this was real .

The thing was, it sure as hell felt real as Rook slid that ring out of the box and onto my finger.

My damn hand was actually shaking.

I reached down, placing my hand with my new ring on the side of his neck, and pulling.

Rook got to his feet, smiling down at me as I beamed up at him.

And, God, none of it felt like an act.

Until his finger kept clicking that damn remote.

“Let’s really sell it,” Rook said, his thumb and forefinger kicking up my chin.

I had no idea what he meant for a moment.

Then his head was lowering down.

My heart tripped into overdrive, slamming against my ribcage as my belly went liquid.

Then his lips were on mine.

And there was no faking.

My body responded instantaneously. I swayed into him as my hands slid up his arms to loop around the back of his neck.

A needy little whimper clawed its way up my throat and slipped out between my lips as Rook’s lips slanted over mine again, deepening the kiss.

A shiver worked its way up my spine, then spread through me.

In response, Rook’s arms went around me, pulling me flush against him.

My breasts crushed to his chest, drawing a soft moan out of me.

It wasn’t real.

But it felt real the way my pulse skittered, the way my belly flip-flopped, the way my lips took all he offered, then demanded more.

And the hardness pressed against my belly sure felt real too. As real as the clawing desire building between my thighs.

Rook’s tongue teased the tip of mine before, suddenly, his mouth pulled away. Then his hand went up, grabbing the back of my neck, and forcing my head down onto his chest.

I took a small amount of comfort in the fact that his heartbeat was just as sped up as mine, that his breathing was ragged.

I felt his hand at the small of my back, clicking away at the damn remote, reminding me that this was all for show. Even if our bodies had gotten confused.

Squeezing my eyes tight against another rush of wetness at the part of me that wanted nothing more than for some part of this whole thing to be real.

I turned my head into his neck like a woman in love. While reminding myself what happened to girls like me who got involved with bikers.

As soon as Rook was done taking his damn pictures—including a sweet one where he’d pressed a kiss to the top of my head—I pulled out of his arms and walked to the edge of the hill.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I stared out at the colors that seemed just a little bit duller than a few moments before.

“That should do it, I think,” I said, voice hollow.

“Do you want to… keep hiking?” There was something unsure and tentative in Rook’s voice. Likely in response to my own distance.

“We should probably head back. You never know when Nancy is going to show up.”

“Okay…”

With that, Rook picked up his camera and tripod, then started down the hill.

I followed behind, nearly tumbling three times, but managing to keep my footing.

We walked in painful silence for almost three full hours on the way back out of Death Valley.

“Do you want me to drop you at the clubhouse?” I asked, keeping my gaze on the road.

“Going somewhere?”

“I think I’m going to pick up a few jobs.”

“Why?”

“What else am I going to do?”

“Okay…” Rook let that hang for just a moment. Then, “Babe, you okay?”

“Yep,” I said, popping the p a little harder than I meant to. “I’m just a little… antsy today,” I admitted.

“Even after that hike?”

“Well, like… mentally antsy,” I explained.

“Oh. We could… hang. Talk about it.”

“I want to be distracted, not talk.”

“Alright. I get it. But I’m here if you want to talk. Or, I dunno, play cards and… not talk,” he said as I pulled into the clubhouse parking lot.

“Thanks.”

“You want to come in for another coffee? Some food?”

“I’m good. Thanks,” I added, trying to ignore his concerned look.

With that, he climbed out.

“What time do you want me to pick you up?” I asked.

“I’ll have someone drop me,” he said, grabbing his camera.

“Okay. I’ll see you back at the apartment.”

I tried not to speed away.

Then I drove into town, heading to the gas station, parking, and pressing my forehead into the steering wheel.

“Ugh. Get it together.”

It was strange to feel so out of control of my feelings. If anything, I was a pro at masking, hiding anything real. I’d grown up my whole life in an environment where any soft feelings would be used against me.

I don’t know what was wrong with me. I felt oddly unguarded and vulnerable.

Maybe it was just the fallout of leaving, of no longer needing those walls and defenses.

The thing was, I possibly needed them more than ever. The longer I lived with Rook, the more our arrangement would become a friendship. And it was going to take a lot of determination to be able to keep my past from him.

I needed to get a grip.

With that in mind, I climbed out of the car, going into the gas station and grabbing myself a coffee.

Then I went into the car and did the thing that any newly engaged woman would do.

I took little ring selfies while holding my coffee cup.

Maybe if I really committed to the bit, I would stop confusing my feelings.

Finished with pictures—and sending one to Rook along with a little note about not being able to wait to marry him—I took a couple of jobs. I picked up the magazines like I said I would. And while I waited for more jobs to come in, I flagged pages with sticky notes; I circled dresses, bouquets, and veils.

Then, as it got close to the grocery store closing, I made my way back to the apartment with all my magazines.

Rook had already been home, as all his bedding was on the couch. But Rook himself wasn’t around.

Weird.

But it gave me a chance to move his bedding back to the bedroom and put mine on the couch instead.

Finished with that, I went into the bathroom to wash the day—and the confusing feelings associated with it—away.

By the time I made it back out, Rook had returned and traded the bedding once again.

“You’re stubborn.”

“I bought a new couch. But I will be the one enduring the couch until then. Here, what do you think about these ones?” he asked, shuffling papers around.

That was where he’d been. Down at the karate studio printing out images.

I took the photos, not anticipating how real they would look, how much we seemed like a couple genuinely in love.

I mean, yes, from an artistic standpoint, they were beautiful. The colored rocks were a stunning backdrop for the proposal.

But the crazy thing was… you weren’t even drawn to the mountains. All you could look at was us.

My shock registered as real. And maybe, knowing what I did, that was because I’d been so surprised at how gorgeous the ring was, how much it suited me.

As for Rook, he managed to look up at me with what I could only describe as awe. I guess between the two of us, Rook was the superior actor.

There was a snap of him slipping the ring on my finger, another of me admiring the ring.

Then, of course, the kiss.

Feeling it had been one thing. Seeing it was a whole other. The desire reignited through my overwrought system.

I shuffled to the next image before the memories could rush back any more.

Then, somehow, the image of us embracing was even more impactful. It was surprisingly intimate, even more so than the kiss itself.

Finally, the last image caught that second when he pressed a kiss to the top of my head while we held each other.

“Good, right?” Rook asked.

“What? Oh, yeah. I, uh, I think Nancy will be convinced.” I rushed to hand the pictures back, not wanting to obsess over them.

“Which one should we put in a frame?” he asked. “The moment of proposal?”

“Yeah, that’s the one,” I said. The last picture would be the most convincing. But I also didn’t want to have to walk past it every day.

“I saw all the magazines. You’re really dedicated to the bit.”

“That’s me. A team player,” I said.

“Tessa,” Rook called as I started to make my way toward the bedroom.

“Yeah?” I asked, turning back but focusing my gaze on his chin rather than his eyes.

“Are we good?”

“Yeah, of course.” Then, knowing I wasn’t being very convincing, I added, “I’m just tired tonight.”

“Okay,” he said, watching me, likely seeing a little too much.

But I turned away and walked back to the bedroom.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, pinching my contacts out of my eyes and storing them in my spare case on the nightstand, since I was constantly guilty of forgetting to take them out in the bathroom.

Then I climbed under the covers, curled up on my side, and tried to think of anything other than Rook.

I failed.

Miserably.

But, eventually, I passed out anyway.