Page 19 of Romancing the Clone (Sunrise Cantina #3)

CHAPTER

SEVENTEEN

RUTH-ANN

The cantina is always crowded. It makes any hope of leaving early to talk to Simone impossible.

In a way I’m glad, because I can sink into work without having to worry about anything other than getting the next order up.

Zaemen enjoys working in the kitchen and laughs and chats the entire time.

His banter with servers Jerzec and Erzah is fun to be around, and even if I’m not contributing to the conversation, I feel welcome and part of the team.

By the time we’ve cleaned up and put away the food, it’s extra late.

I briefly consider just going back to the ship with the others.

Every night we finish late, and I’ve always gone to Simone’s.

She waits up for me, and we cuddle and kiss and play with Pluto for a while before bed…

where we kiss even more and make love. If I don’t go to her place, I’m going to be giving her a very clear statement that I’ve given up on us.

Even though I know it’s probably safest for Simone, I can’t do it.

I want to be with her. Just thinking about how she’ll take the news of me being a clone makes me ache with yearning.

What if she’s horrified? What if she wants nothing to do with me?

What if the possible danger scares her enough that she asks me to leave her alone?

My stomach feels tight with anxiety.

If she’s unhappy with my secret, I’ll just have to live with it. She needs to know, one way or another. It’s not fair to her otherwise.

Pluto meets me at the door, rubbing against my legs and making happy chuffing noises as I take a few steps inside.

I glance around the apartment as I reach down to scratch at his tiny ears, but the kitchen is silent.

Cookie scents fill the air, telling me that she was working.

Unlike normal, however, she hasn’t stayed up to spend time with me.

The lights are off and she’s not waiting.

I expected it, but it still hurts.

Crouching down, I try to hug Pluto. In true cat fashion, he wriggles away and then tries to rub against my legs once more, head-butting at my calf.

He only likes to cuddle and get petted when we’re in bed, but his independence makes me feel even more unwanted.

I let him rub up against my legs for a moment longer before I head back to the bedroom.

The door is open halfway, the lights on, but I knock quietly anyhow. “Simone?”

“I’m awake. You can come in.” She doesn’t sound angry. That’s promising, hopefully.

I peek my head in and see her sitting up in bed, the blankets pooled around her legs. She’s holding a tattered, bloated copy of Outlander in her hands. Reading. Okay. Maybe she was waiting up for me after all. “You have a book?”

“I borrowed it from someone in town,” she says, putting it aside. Her expression is guarded as she watches me. “You worked late tonight.”

“Yeah.” We stare at each other for a moment, and then Pluto shoves his head under my hand, demanding pets. I rub his brow and indicate the kitchen with a head nod, feeling awkward. “You finished baking already?”

“I did.” She folds her hands in her lap, regarding me. “You want to talk? Because I don’t like this thing between us. We need to figure it out.”

I’m filled with a rush of gratitude that she’s far more blunt than me, that she won’t pussyfoot around the situation. Simone tackles things head on, and I love that about her. “We do need to talk. I’m…” The words clog in my throat, and I try again. “I’ve…I’ve been holding back from you.”

“No shit.”

“It’s…it’s a rather dangerous secret. A secret that could jeopardize your life as well as mine.

” Even dancing around the topic aloud is making me anxious.

No wonder Ruthie’s on edge all the time.

This is my first time really discussing the truth of who I am with someone else and it’s scaring the shit out of me.

Simone’s eyes narrow as she regards me. “What kind of secret?”

“I’m…hiding out.”

She must notice my anxiety, because she pats the blankets on the bed, a quiet invitation to join her.

I do, and realize just how wobbly my knees are.

She takes my hand in hers and says nothing about how clammy my skin is.

“We’re all hiding out here,” she says gently.

“Remember? Humans aren’t welcome on this end of the universe.

It’s not such a weird thing to hide out. ”

I shake my head. “No, this is a different kind of hiding out. A worse kind of hiding out.”

Her expression is full of concern, her hand clasping mine tight. “Do you need money?”

“For what?” I’m not following.

“A bribe? Is someone blackmailing you?”

I shake my head. “No blackmail.”

She leans in. “Is it worse?”

“Worse?”

She leans in even closer, expression grave. “Say the word and I’ll help you with whatever you need. Just tell me the story we need to go with and I’ll be your alibi.” Simone’s expression is tight, focused. “There are certain plants you can grow over a grave that will disguise the smell, you know.”

I pull back in surprise. “There’s no body!”

“If there is, you can tell me. We can make it disappear .” She says the last word in a hushed whisper.

Sputtering, I shake my head again. “There’s no body, Simone. I—wait. You’d really help me hide a freaking body ?”

Her eyes go wide, her face full of surprise. “Of course I would. We’re in this together. I love you and want to help you with your burdens. Why would you think I’d let you do that on your own?” Her grip on mine is impossibly tight. “You’re not alone.”

For some reason, I start crying even as laughter bubbles in my throat. I love her so much, and the absurdity of our conversation both makes me feel better and worse. “Alone has never been my problem, Simone. I’m a clone.”

I let the word hang in the air. It feels dangerous even to speak it aloud. Like now that I’ve said it, something terrible will happen.

Simone keeps eyeing me patiently. “Aren’t your friends clones, too? The men with the tattoos?”

“The a’ani. And they’re a different kind of clone.

The registered, legal kind. That’s why their skin is red.

Someone cloned me and my sisters under the table and tried to pass us off as real humans, and that’s why it’s a problem.

I’m not legal, and if I’m caught, they’ll destroy me.

So I basically need to hide out and hope for the best.” Tears keep streaming down my face.

I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m not sad.

It’s the emotion of finally getting the words out, and the anxiety over her reaction.

Simone hasn’t gotten upset so far, but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For things to click and for her to realize that what and who I am is disturbing.

That everything about me is vaguely wrong but disguised. “No one can know. Ever.”

Simone rubs my arm with her free hand and pulls me closer to her. She tucks my hair behind my ear, fussing over me with her tender gaze. “You know we all have to hide out, right? That’s why we’re here on Risda.”

“But mine is different. Mine is a death sentence.”

She tugs me against her, resting my head on her shoulder.

I lean onto her, my position a little awkward, but my nose is tucked against her neck, and she strokes my arm, and I could stay here forever.

“It’s a death sentence for all of us, love.

You think I’d let someone take me alive?

You think I’d let them enslave me again?

I’ll kill myself first, and I know I’m not the only one. ”

Her words stun me. I hate the thought of her wanting to kill herself, but…

I also get it. My short time enslaved was a nightmare.

I was so confused, my thoughts muddied, that it didn’t occur to me to fight back or try to escape.

I was lucky that I was rescued, that I had my sisters and the crew of the Scarlet Gaze to help me recover. Simone hasn’t had anyone but herself.

Well, she had Dora, too, but Dora’s no longer on the planet. She’s off gallivanting with her two mates.

Simone strokes my arm again. “I wish you’d talked to me about all this. I didn’t know what was going on, only that you never wanted me around. It really hurt.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want you around,” I explain, lifting my head to look into her eyes. “It’s that this secret isn’t just mine. My sisters are affected, too. If anyone knew I was a clone, they’d automatically start looking into them, and I didn’t want to put them in danger.”

“And now?” Her dark eyes are full of questions.

“Now I’ve decided I can’t truly be with you unless you know who and what I am.

My sisters assured me that they can take care of themselves, and I figured it’s time I trust that you can take care of yourself, too.

That me holding on to my silence might be protecting them in my way, but that not everyone wants to be alone and safe.

” I pause, then add, “ I don’t want to be alone and safe.

I want to be with you. All day, every day. ”

She pulls me in close and kisses me. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’m so sorry I scared you.”

“It’s all right. You had your reasons.” She cups my face and gives me a tender smile. “And that’s one mystery answered. Who the hell names their three kids Ruth, Ruthie, and Ruth-Ann after all?”

I giggle. More tears spill out of me, along with hysterical laughter. I collapse against her as she chuckles, just hugging and crying like a baby. A moment later, I feel a wet, raspy tongue on my pant leg. Pluto is trying to comfort me, too.

They’re my family, just as much as Ruthie and Ruth are. I hug Simone tight, pressing my face against her neck. “Did I mention I love you?”

“Feel free to mention it as often as you like.” She kisses my ear.

“I love you. I’m sorry I’m a lousy partner.”