Page 21 of Role Model

When I step back into the flat above Downing Street, Fizz is waiting.

I don’t hesitate, I run. I throw myself at her, like a bird falling out of the tree and knowing that it will learn to fly in the process.

She hugs me. I hug back. Then Dad is there.

He hugs us, too. Then Gideon, even though I know he isn’t the keenest on hugging.

When we all laugh at the silliness of it, all of us bound together like a ball of rubber bands, we pull away.

And Mum stands in the corner of the room, watching us. She looks too nervous to join us.

So I hold out my hand.

“Aeriel,” she says. “I’m sorry.”

I look up at her and realise something. Mum is a grownup with one of the most important jobs in the whole world.

But this is her first time around 168 the sun.

Just like me. Adults don’t have this magical rule book that tells them what to do.

That’s why they waste their money on self-help books and classes and coaches.

They are always looking for the answers.

And they can’t own up to their mistakes as easily as kids can. Or then everyone would realise that they’re just big, scared kids too.

“It’s okay, Mum,” I say.

“I saw what you did to those photographers at the dance,” she says steadily.

I wait to be scolded. But I won’t apologise. Instead, to my surprise, her lips twitch.

“Well done,” she whispers.

I smile wetly. She doesn’t know how much I needed her to say that. How much I needed her to be on my side.

We all go to Winter Wonderland. Mum and Dad go on a swinging pirate ship, and we laugh as Mum shrieks girlishly at the rather easy-going ride. Fizz and Mum take a walk, just the two of them, and talk. For an hour. When they come back, we go on an easy rollercoaster.

I like the adrenaline of it. I like knowing that, even when the drops are scary and the speed is intense, it will all be okay. The hard bits are only temporary. We’ll only remember how much we enjoyed the ride when it’s over. 169

*

A year goes by. I laugh all of the time now. I refuse every request from Mum’s staff, and she gets irate when she realises that they’ve approached me. She’s campaigning to end monetising children on the internet. She’s working on privacy laws for minors. She asks my opinion all of the time.

It’s school picture day again and I want to get it over with so that I can join Txai and Niamh for lunch. I’m wearing ear defenders. I wear them a lot now, they help me manage school better.

When it’s my turn to sit for my individual portrait, the photographer frowns at the sight of them.

“Maybe take those off, darling?”

I smile at him. “No, thank you. They’re staying on.”

They will always try to get me back in the circus. But I know who I am now. I have friends who love me. I’m wilder, like an elephant. And I have never seen an elephant that felt sorry for itself.

And so, without even being asked…

I smile.

The End.