Page 45

Hunter and Slade soon say goodnight, and so do my monster friends. Striker tells them he’ll have his car take them to their hotel before they continue back to Boston tomorrow.

I wait uncertainly for him to return from the front of the house, tapping the side of my water glass.

I should feel calm—everything around me is tranquil—but there’s a rising anxiety inside me, an agitation that I can’t place.

Possibly, it’s because ever since Striker shut down his emotions upstairs, I can’t get a read on him.

Everyone else’s heart is bare to me with all their complexities of dark and light, but Striker’s thoughts are a mystery.

He returns to the doorway, standing in the shadows for the first time tonight. He took off his jacket a while ago and rolled up his sleeves, indicating that he may yet be more comfortable in workout gear.

His chest rises and falls, careful inhalations as if he’s deliberately taking time to process his thoughts while he steps into the light. “Thank you for coming. I’ll have the helicopter take you home now.”

My lips part in surprise. “That’s it?”

He pauses, a flash of honesty in his eyes too raw for me to miss.

“I’m grateful you came,” he says. “I wanted you to see everyone and to know that they’re okay.”

“What about you?”

He hasn’t asked me to stay. He hasn’t asked for my time or even for my conversation. He hasn’t asked if I’ll come back.

“What about me?” he asks gently.

I put down the glass with a clink on the table and step toward him.

He inhales sharply when I don’t stop until I plant my right palm over his heart.

The tension in his muscles tells me he’s going to move away, so I curl my left hand around the side of his waist to stop him.

I search his eyes for a long moment before I whisper, “Where are you, Striker?”

His gaze softens. “Right here.”

I shake my head at him. “Why haven’t you asked me to stay?”

“I won’t.”

Confusion is not my friend. “You want me to leave?”

“No.” His arms rise as if he’s going to wrap them around me, and then he drops them again. He takes a deep breath. “Do you like it here?”

“It’s perfect.”

“Then it’s yours, if you want it.”

My eyes widen. “You’re giving me your home?”

“I’d like it to be your home.”

Again, I search his eyes, seeking the amber flames that I can’t find. “Where will you be?”

The corner of his mouth rises in a half-smile. “Wherever you want me to be. Here or nowhere near you. It’s up to you.”

My heart beats too fast. The faster mine gets, the slower his seems to become. “You want me to decide.”

He nods as he takes another deep breath, and this time, I catch a glimmer of his thoughts as he speaks.

“When we were at the Academy—actually long before that—I was broken pieces,” he says.

“I tried to pull the pieces back together, but the Academy was designed to tear me apart over and over. When we finally got out, I needed to face the consequences of all the choices that I’d made, and all the choices that were made for me.

Seeing you again, fighting beside you again, was like looking up and finally seeing the light.

But it’s not your responsibility to make my life complete or to make me happy.

“It’s my responsibility to be accountable, and to ask for help when I need it, and to make better choices that don’t hurt the people I care about. So this, right now, this is me making better choices.”

I’m stunned by the honesty in his words, but also… not stunned.

From the moment I saw him again in the tavern, he hasn’t tried to conceal anything from me. Even when he shut off his emotions at that time, his concern was not that I could read his thoughts but that he was bombarding me with them.

“You’re truly calm,” I say, even though I already knew it.

He’s a piece of hell that rose to the surface of the earth and burned so brightly he’s become a source of warmth.

He’s quiet for a moment. “I’m still capable of anger.

Fury. Destruction. It’s a part of me. I’m a hellhound.

But I control it. I want you to see that, to know that.

I want to prove it to you a thousand times before you make any decisions, so you can trust in what you’re deciding. So you can trust me.”

He places his hand over mine, a light touch, careful not to trap me. “Come and visit me again. If you want to. Come back a hundred times until you’re certain about what you want. Or don’t come back if you don’t want to. Either way, I won’t ask for anything.”

My heart thuds in my chest at the way that his heart, his emotions, his thoughts, they’re all bare to me.

He is what I see.

Calm. In control. With a fire inside him that will drive him, but never hurt me.

“Is it okay if I’ve seen enough?” I whisper, rising to my tiptoes, my lips so close to his that they will touch if he chooses to close the gap. “Is it okay if I’ve already seen everything I need to see?”

His answer is to lean forward.

My lips tingle as they connect with his.

I sense his stillness but also the hitch in his breathing, and it takes all of my willpower to pull back.

His arms rise, finally encircling my waist, slowly drawing me closer.

He drops a kiss on my forehead. A tentative touch. Then, another kiss on my cheek. Then, a third on the corner of my mouth, each touch light, making me tremble and my toes curl.

He dips his head to kiss my chin before returning to nuzzle my cheek with his, his hellhound’s favorite gesture.

When he pulls back, his eyes are alive with flames that promise to warm me, defend me, and shelter me for the rest of my life.

I smile as I read the question on his lips.

“Yes,” I whisper. “You may.”

His arms wrap fully around me, pulling me close, enfolding me in a hug, the best fucking hug.

It takes my breath away and fills my chest with his scent and my heart with all of the peace radiating out from him.

So much peace that, once I’ve soaked up his hug for the longest, most amazing minutes, I can’t help the wicked grin growing on my face.

Because maybe… very soon… when we’re both ready… I’d like him to not feel so peaceful.

I’d like him to let out his wants and his needs and all the heat I know he can give me.

All the desire entwined with all the care.

Soon.

Soon enough.

But for now, this is everything I need.