Page 116 of Rocky Mountain Devil

“No.” The word snapped out of him like from a slingshot, and his mom’s eyes widened in surprise.

He felt about two years old, pulling a tantrum even as he was being offered what he wanted.

“I’m not seeing her anymore,” he admitted.

“What? Are you—?” She stumbled to a dead stop. “Did she break up with you?” Dana asked far more gently.

Rafe hated to admit it. “No.”

The fire was back in an instant. “Raphael Coleman, what on earth were you thinking? That girl is the most perfect person for you. You call her up this instant and apologize for whatever you’ve done.”

“No,” he said again, feeling childish. “Mom, it’s over. Drop it.”

“Not likely. You have that ‘I’m being heroic’ look to you that men get.” She leaned in closer and glared like only a mother could. “Call her.”

“Mom.”

“Then I will. I need to talk to her—”

He snatched the picture off the table and shook it. “This? This is why it’s over between me and Laurel.”

Dana settled back in her chair, utter confusion on her face. “Because your father died?”

A bolt of guilt straight to the heart. “Because my father wasn’t the man you married. There’s been no laughter in this house for years, no joy. I can’t stand the thought of doing that to Laurel down the road.”

“Oh, Rafe.” His mom laid a hand over his. “It’s not that simple, and yet it is. You’re not your father.”

“I hate that I’m his son. I hate that the same thing might happen to me—that I’ll grow cold and sharp, and all the good things in my life will be torn apart.”

“You’re not him,” Dana insisted. “I shouldn’t need to tell you that, you stubborn child.”

Nearly twice the size of her, and still a child. Felt it, right then. Felt like a damn baby, crying at shadows.

“Don’t try to tell me I’m like Gabe, because we both know that’s bullshit.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Watch your language, young man. You’re not too old for me to wash your mouth out with soap. But you’re right—you’re not Gabe. And you’re also not Ben. Both you and your brother have made your own choices since you were young.”

But this wasn’t just about making choices, or even about losing his temper. It was because he’d ridden the knife’s edge so long, but when push came to shove, he broke. Fucking broke in the wrong direction—the same path his father had taken.

His mom seemed to have zero sympathy for him.

“Well, you make your choice about who you spend time with, right or wrong, same as always, but I think you’re acting a fool, Rafe. When you’ve got love in your grasp, you don’t toss it away. I wishallthe years I’d had with Ben had been filled with laughter, but that wasn’t our lot.” She rose to her feet and stared down at him from her towering height of five foot nothing. “I wouldn’t give up a single minute of the good days. Not a single one.”

Then she kicked him out.His momkicked him out.

“You want to be an idiot, go do it at your own place.” She picked up her book and pointedly ignored him.

Rafe stumbled to his truck and drove home. Even the meager penance spending time with his mom had offered was now in tattered shreds.

And the one thing he wanted most, he couldn’t have.

He pulled into the yard to discover Jesse leaning against his truck, an old horse trailer hooked up behind. Morgan sat by his feet, tail thumping into the snowy ground as Rafe approached.

“You holding that door up with your backside for a reason?” Rafe asked.

His cousin dropped a treat to the dog, then shrugged. “Just finished loading up Danger. Thought you might be home soon.”

The strange comment pulled Rafe from his gloomy thoughts. “Where are you taking your horse at this time of year?”