Page 19 of Rocking the Receiver (Austin Troopers)

CHAPTER 19

YOU

Elliot

Mom’s soft gaze is ping-ponging between Dad, Rupert, and me as she strolls towards the edge of the bed to face me. We’ve never had to live through a medical emergency, but by now, she’s surely fathomed that Rupert’s presence implies that he’s my emergency contact.

Obviously, it hardly makes sense since they think that Rupert resides in Manhattan. I hate that we decided it was safer for us to have him check into a hotel during their stay. My heart sinks.

It’s not just an elephant in the room now, more like a herd.

My dad’s face becomes a blank slate, devoid of emotion. He stands frozen in time, rooted by the door, as if I hadn’t spoken to him seconds ago. If I’m being honest, I wish I could get up and ditch this place, snatch Rupert’s wrist and run away with him. The sterile hospital smell reminds me of sickness, doubt, and sadness.

Actually, I wouldn’t run because I’m scared to face my parents right now. I’m not. I’d run to remove my man from a place he abhors because of the heartbreaking memories linked to it. It sucks that I’m the one who brought him back to a hospital.

I shoot Rupert a sideway glance, watching him force a polite smile onto his face. I admire that he’s trying to make this encounter as casual as possible; it’s anything but. I make a mental note to tell him how thankful I am he doesn’t step in. It’s my call to decide how I want this to play out.

I’ve thought about this moment a lot. I’ve rehearsed the conversation in my head. I’ve envisioned the right timing.

I’m mostly at peace with the idea. It’s about time I stop pretending to be someone I’m not, but on the other hand, I’m sort of cornered. I wish Rupert and I could have discussed the logistics prior to my injury. Stuck in this hospital bed, time seems to have stopped.

I’m about to say the words I’d been dreading, and I must admit I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not ashamed. I’m more confident than ever.

You see, when I got drafted, I told Rupert that I was finally living my dream. I was wrong. Wrong to consider football the ultimate goal. Wrong to erase him from the equation. Wrong to believe I grasped my priorities.

This is not a dream; I’m living my reality with a job I worked my ass off to get and a man I can’t get enough of and am proud to call my boyfriend. I’m ready to deal with the bumps in the road head on. This is my reality, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Rupert didn’t object, but what about me? Am I overthinking things? My mind can’t seem to decide between following what’s going on or staying out of it due to the meds and lingering pain.

Mom eventually breaks the deafening silence. Her strangled voice is filled with such anguish. “You okay, honey?” I shouldn’t be surprised that she’d focus on my health over the awkwardness of the situation. “I mean, as much as you can be after what you’ve just been through.” I nod approvingly. Then, her attention turns to Rupert. “I’m sorry, Rupert, with all the chaos, I didn’t even realize you were gone.” Didn’t Rupert say he texted Tim? Where is he anyway? Her next question posed to me is barely a whisper. “Can I… can I approach?”

“Mom, it’s me. Of course, you can approach.”

She rounds the bed until she faces Rupert from the opposite side of the bed. Massaging my shoulder, she kisses my forehead.

I toy with the scratchy bed sheet for a split second.

Nope, I’m not going back .

Hesitation has no place in this room. So, I square my shoulders, hiss in pain, then grin at Rupert.

I look at my parents alternatively. As if I’d uttered a silent command, my dad walks to my mom’s side.

“So, here’s the thing,” I start, but the door startles me as it opens. At first, I assume the medical staff is about to interrupt me… Instead, Tim barges in.

“Can you believe this?” he asks, oblivious of what’s unfolding. “They fought me…” His eyes roam around the room. “They said there were already too many…” He catches his breath. “But they couldn’t stop me from—” He stops again, his intense gaze on the potential intruder. “Ru?” Ohhh, I haven’t heard that nickname since they became legal, but then again, my brother must be utterly confused. “I thought you said?—”

Clearing my throat with all my might to get everyone’s attention once and for all, I wave at Tim. “Hey, bro. Do you mind closing the door behind you to give us some privacy?” He obliges. “Come here, don’t be shy… The more, the merrier,” I joke, amused by his perplexed expression and spiked brow. I gesture for him to join my parents.

“Sooo…” I say, oh-so-slowly, for effect, “like I wanted to say before this… abrupt interruption.” Tim rolls his eyes, then purses his lips. I’m on a roll. “Here’s the thing: I’m gay.” There, I’ve said it! My voice didn’t even falter, and I don’t feel like throwing up like I did when I figured out I liked boys… Well, one in particular, and he’s standing next to me, expectant, beautiful, and proud. “Rupert is my boyfriend, and we just moved in together in East Austin.” There’s the emergency contact explanation! “Also, I’ve been in love with him for a while now.” There, he’s not a fling!

That’s enough information. I exhale softly. The full story will always be ours anyway.

Besides Nathan—who Rupert only saw for an extended weekend trip to Canada to honor Sally—only Hardy and the other band members are privy of our actual life status. Meaning me moving into his two-bedroom apartment right after graduation, which led him to break the news to his mother so that she wouldn’t be surprised on her next Christmas visit.

That said, he does have to work on hating himself for keeping things about us from the people he loves—my brother, Sally… My heart aches whenever he mentions how he cowardly broke his promise of coming out soon after she met Nathan. Just like guilt gnaws at him for postponing to reveal to her who the “special someone” he’d just met was. He never got the chance.

This unexpected hospital reunion might be oddly cathartic for both of us.

Once again, time freezes. I wonder what’s next. None of this was planned, especially not my injury, but this unfortunate turn of events might be the extra push that Rupert and I needed.

Tim gawks before moving to speak, but my man is faster.

Rupert’s gorgeous green eyes darken as his perfect face brightens. “You… You have? You do?”

“Duh!” My fingers graze his. The world around us vanishes. I only have eyes for him. “I meant to say it before, but I was too chickenshit… for once.” I pause, acknowledging the goosebumps splayed across my arms.

Relax, I may have chemicals in my system, but I’m the same guy who’ll never be a sappy romantic. However, it’s pretty cool to take a step back and live this blissful moment to the fullest. As far as I can recall, I’ve always been attracted to this guy, there was no way around it. Pursuing him. Courting him. Convincing him…

My thumb caresses the back of his hand. “I love you, Rupert Smith. Always have and always will. There’s no getting rid of me now!”

“Never! I love you, too, babe… so bloo—,” he stops mid-sentence to avoid cursing in front of some of the most important people in my life. People who are dear to me, and who he respects. People who saw him as Tim’s best friend until now. People who are watching him, us… as a couple. Awkward! “So much…”

“In case you’re all wondering, Rupert played hard to get for way too long, too. But you know me, driven and all… Shocker, right?” I smile, shrugging nonchalantly in hopes of brightening the mood since the three of them are so stunned and eerily quiet.

Boy, I really need to stop babbling!

I hope my parents will understand, love me, and accept my choices, no matter what. Granted, my sexual orientation was never a choice, but Rupert is, so is moving in with him. Or was it kismet all along?

Rubbing my forehead with my splayed palm, I replay the question inside my tired and nonetheless wired brain.

Seriously, what the fuck did the nurses give me to think about shit like this?

I love the guy, okay. Case closed! Says the same closeted football player who hesitated to come out for so long.

Initially, I waited because I preferred to meet the right person first—or at least one who mattered enough—so that my gayness would be attached to someone real. Then, Tim introduced me to Rupert… virtually, and meeting him took the forefront. Once I eventually did and things progressed, his own closet became another comforting wall to protect us from the outside world. Later, he mentioned that it wasn’t fair to hold me back from coming out; he wasn’t. He’d mentioned that he’d be ready when I was. We didn’t get a chance to discuss it further since my football dreams took off. I told him that there’s a lot to lose at this point in my life and career. “Just a little longer,” I kept demanding, using the commanding voice he loves so much because I sound the same when edging in the bedroom. Yup, I’ll always be the bossy man who growls, “This is mine!” in a deep and threatening tone and swats his hand whenever he attempts to touch himself when I’m inside of him. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. We are definitely in sync; I wouldn’t change a thing.

Sex with Rupert is a toe-curling experience that was sooo worth the wait. I’ve been lusting over him for as long as I can recall, and punched my V-card at almost twenty years old, so much later than most of my friends and teammates. It may sound outdated, but I’m glad I saved myself to experience sex with him. Let’s face it, I was far from the expert I thought I was! Porn has never been my thing and research can only do so much. Practice makes perfect, or at least, that’s my goal; I’m only twenty-three and have much more to learn with him. He’s been a patient, attentive, and helpful teacher. Over time, we explored what we enjoy the most. Together. Hence, long before caving to my demand and making me 100% gay by allowing me to give bottoming a try, my stubborn lover introduced me to my prostate by finger-fucking me, but I’m stubborner—yes, I invented a word that truly defines me!

He did cave, eventually, though that’s a discussion for another time. What matters is that we’re 100% in sync.

That works for me. Learning what makes him tick is so much fun already!

“ Ben, merde alors ,” Tim finally blurts out in French, snapping me out of my drifting thoughts. Thankfully, my trip down filthy Memory Lane stayed inside my head.

Damn, these drugs are strong…

My brother pats my dad’s shoulder before addressing my parents in English. “I don’t know about you guys, but I think Elliot couldn’t have found a better person.”

I mouth a thank you as he purposefully keeps quiet to give my folks room. Holy shit! My brother’s expressive face shows that he has a zillion questions, some less appropriate than others, but I’m sure he’ll keep them under wraps until it’s just us, outside of a hospital room.

Being so light-headed wouldn’t mix well with such details anyway, so I put all my willpower on keeping my big mouth shut for a change. For now, I take everything in.

Never in a million years would I have imagined it would play out like this. My coming out to my parents and beloved brother, in this hospital room, with my boyfriend by my side. All in all, it’s as good a time as any because there is no right time for this.

Finally, Mom hugs me, whispering, “I’m happy as long as you’re happy, Elliot.” There’s no judgment in her eyes. No questions either, just acceptance.

This jumpstarts Dad’s reaction, which mimics hers, awkwardly hugging us both. “Your mom was always better with words than me. I’m with her on this one, son.” His voice is warm and playful. My heart somersaults. “So, here’s the deal,”—his tone turns businesslike, so I frown—“you need to recover quickly and go back to your boyfriend.” With that, he strolls towards said boyfriend, looks up to meet his eyes, and engulfs him in a manly hug. “It’s good to welcome you to the family… again.”

My man is definitely not a hugger. For some reason, it brings out his uptight background, which I love to blame on his British upbringing as a whole rather than on his sweet mom.

“Thank you, sir,” Rupert replies when my dad releases him from his embrace.

Dad remains unshaken, his impressive and weirdly demonstrative frame showing his emotions in all their glory. Mom grins at everyone and takes the lead again in a gentle and composed voice. “Now, I think we should stay in the waiting room and leave the medical staff do their job. I need to know that my baby does not have a fractured ankle and will be back on the field in no time!”

I grunt at the moniker—which has her rolling her eyes—because I’m no longer a baby, but can’t get enough of Rupert calling me babe . We all chuckle at her pragmatism, though.

“Also, just a heads up. After the doctors send you back home, you owe us a party for your football success and this.” Tim points at us. “If you need help with the wine, I’ll help, obviously.” He shoots us the goofiest of smiles before heading to the door.

I’m both surprised and pleased at how well they’re taking the news. It’s a lot to process, and the rest of the family has to be updated eventually, so there’s that. But between the numbing painkillers and the positive vibes that are making me hyper, I’m a hot mess.

Oh, well!