Page 100 of Road Trip with a Vampire

Ididn’tever want to see him again. Or at least I was pretty sure I didn’t. My relief over Peter surviving whatever I’dabandoned him to in that warehouse was probably just days’ worth of inadequate sleep catching up to me.

Reggie’s text was less fraught.

Reg:How did it go?

I decided to reply to him first.

Zelda:You sent a real creep my way Reg

Zelda:Do a better job of vetting strays you meet at scrapbooking conventions going forward

He called me less than a minute after I hitsend.

“Okay, what happened?” Reggie said, all business.

“You were right. It was The Collective sending Peter the notes all this time. Not only that, it turns out Peter was paid by The Collective to take me out. Because they finally figured out it was me who’d started that fire at Count Countesque’s party.” I flopped onto the bed and flung an arm above my head. “The vampire you shipped to me is a fang for hire.”

I stared at the painting that hung over the bureau without really seeing it as I waited for Reggie to respond. And then: “I’m sorry, but…what?”

“I didn’t want to believe it,” I said. “But it’s true. John Richardson was in the warehouse, waiting for us, and Petermiraculouslygot all his memories back the second he saw him.” I rubbed at my face, refusing to let the tears pricking the backs of my eyes fall. “Peter admitted John’s been paying him all this time to get to me.”

“Thoseassholes.”

After what John Richardson and The Collective had put Reggie through, his reaction didn’t surprise me. “Richardson’s dead now, at least. Peter staked him.”

Before I ran away.

“No loss there,” he muttered. “But hold on. If Richardson had been paying Peter, why did he stake him?”

I bit my lip. “There’s more. Peter also told me to run while he took care of whoever was left.”

Silence from Reg’s end of the phone as he processed what I’d told him. “I’m sorry,” he eventually said. “I thought my bullshit detector was spot-on, but clearly I’m slipping. I never doubted his story for a second.”

I closed my eyes. “Neither did I.”

“Did you ever suspect anything was off with him?”

“I should have,” I admitted. “I mean, I did. Some people we met on the road freaked out when they saw him, so I assumed he did some not-great things before losing his memories. I just thought that whatever he’d done, it didn’t have to impact who he was now. And that he could change his ways if he didn’t like what he discovered when he got his memories back. Given my history, I thought I’d be a hypocrite to judge him for any of it.” I’d been such a damn fool. “I never thought he was only with me because he wanted to crack my safe.”

“Crack your safe?” Reggie chuckled. “Please tell me that’s not a sexual metaphor?”

If Reggie were there, I’d have slugged him. Affectionately, of course. But still. “It’s not a sexual metaphor, you weirdo,” I said, fighting a smile despite everything. “Richardson kept talking about needing to get into this safe I allegedly have. They were so desperate, they paid Peter to do it for them.” I shook my head. “No idea what he was talking about.”

A beat. And then Reggie burst out laughing. “Do you seriously not remember thesafe?”

I frowned. “Should I?”

“Oh yes,” Reggie said mock earnestly. “But you’re under a lot of stress, so I’ll give you a hint.” He paused for dramatic effect, then said: “Funniest. Prank. Ever.”

“Funniest prank ever?” I repeated, bewildered. “What’s that supposed to me—”

All at once it hit me.

Oh my gods.

Ofcourse.

“The safe!” I shrieked, feeling slightly delirious. “Oh my gods, how is that nonsense still circulating?”