Page 26 of Road Trip With a Rogue

“Very well, but you’ve had other lovers. Didn’t you love any of them?”

“I desired them. And enjoyed their company, for the most part. But I’d hardly say Ilovedthem.”

She let out a huff of frustration at his continued evasiveness. “So you’ve never loved a woman, ever. Is that what you’re saying?” He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off. “If that’s the case, then I feel sorry for you, Vaughan.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw and she hid a smile at the fact that she’d managed to needle him.

“I loved a girl once,” he said curtly. “Her name was Elaine, and she was a neighbor of ours, in Yorkshire.”

Daisy crossed her arms, certain he was making it up. “Oh really?”

“Yes, really. She was my friend, like you and your Tom.” His face looked suddenly stark, and she realized he wasn’t making it up at all. “She was kind, and sweet, and I probably would have married her if she hadn’t died.”

Daisy stilled, shocked by his unexpected confession. She couldn’t interpret the look on his face. Was it sadness? Bitterness? Regret?

“I’m sorry,” she said, meaning it. “What happened to her? How did she die?”

His eyes flashed. “Giving birth to a child that everyone thought was mine.”

Oh.

“And was it?” she managed.

His lips pressed into a thin line. “No. But…” He shrugged, an elegant, dismissive lift of his broad shoulders. “It doesn’t matter now. The babe died too.”

“How long ago was this?”

“A long time. Before the war.”

Daisy bit her lip, struggling to find the right words.She’d never expected him to reveal something so personal, and the thought of him being in love with someone, even years ago, sent an odd swoop of jealousy through her.

Now she understood the comment he’d made at dinner, back at Wansford Hall.

She sent him a tight, commiserating smile. “You were right. Loving someone opens you up to losing them. It hurts when they leave.”

He nodded once and glanced away in a clear indication that he was finished with the conversation. Daisy studied him for a long moment, then looked back out at the rainy fields and hedgerows.

She’d been too young to feel abandoned when her mother had left; she couldn’t recall ever having a mother, so she hadn’t really appreciated the lack of one. But when Tom had died, she’d grieved him sincerely. Whenever she’d gone back to Hollyfield, his absence had seemed like an inexplicable void, something her brain couldn’t quite grasp. She’d kept walking into the stables, expecting to see him, and her heart would ache anew each time she realized he’d never be there again.

She’d never been more grateful for Tess and Ellie than at that time. They were her true family, more than just friends, bonded closer than sisters, and they’d known her better than she’d known herself. They’d let her mope about for a few days, hugged her while she’d cried, and then forced her to come back to King & Co. to investigate a case involving the blackmail of a Royal Navy officer.

It had been exactly what she’d needed, given her something to focus on, and now she could look back on her time with Tom with a bittersweet smile.

He’d been her first and only lover. The only times she’d felt desire since then was when Vaughan inserted himself into her dreams, or when she happened to glimpse himin theton. She hadn’t been tempted to see if another man could assuage the restless ache inside her.

And yet for some time she’d been plagued by a nagging sense that she was missing something,seekingsomething she couldn’t define.

She still saw Ellie and Tess on an almost daily basis, but things had changed over the past few months. First Tess had fallen head over heels in love with Justin, the man who’d succeeded her first husband as the new duke of Wansford, and then Ellie had fallen for Henry Brooke, the charming conman who’d claimed to be their fictional boss, “Charles King.”

Daisy had been absolutely delighted to see her friends find happiness, but she’d also been struck by a strange melancholy. It was perfectly natural to expect that they’d spend more time with their new husbands, but that didn’t stop her from feeling a pang of loss at the natural distancing that had occurred.

Her own single state had simply been thrown in sharp relief, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t envy the fact that they’d both found their perfect match.

She was lonely.

She sneaked another glance over at Vaughan. His confession had made her feel an odd sort of kinship with him. She’d always imagined him invincible, ruthlessly controlled, but he’d allowed her to see a chink in his armor, and she was struck with an incredible thought.

Despite his many friends and lovers, couldhebe lonely too?