Page 18 of Rise of the Witch (Witches of Keating Hollow #17)

Briggs sat at his computer, palms sweaty as he clicked the link that had been provided for him. That morning when he’d woken up, he’d lain in bed, hating that Melissa wasn’t there. Or more accurately, that she wasn’t there because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check.

Every time his magic flared out of control, fear settled into the crevices of his heart.

What if he was never able to control it?

Would he eventually have to cut himself off from everyone he loved just in case he got upset about something?

Images of his father breaking his arm flashed in his mind and made his stomach roll.

There were two choices; he could continue to live with the consequences or try to do something about it. Seeking a traditional healer hadn’t worked. Neither had self-medicating with potions.

His last resort was to try therapy. He’d contacted Healer Whipple, the well-respected healer in town, and had gotten a referral for a therapist who specialized in dealing with magic disorders.

Much to his surprise, when he’d inquired about getting an appointment, Dr. Blackwood had messaged back that he had an opening that afternoon.

Briggs had taken it on the spot. Thankfully, Austin hadn’t had a problem with him leaving early that day.

So there he was, getting ready to spill his guts to a stranger in hopes they had some sort of ability to help him control his emotions.

The voice in his head told him it was all woo-woo BS, but nothing else had helped. What did he have to lose?

Briggs clicked the link and the video chat came up on his screen. Dr. Blackwood was already in the video, a welcoming expression on his face. The older man had salt and pepper hair, kind eyes, and deep laugh lines. His appearance immediately put Briggs at ease.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Williams,” Dr. Blackwood said. “I see from my notes that you’re having some trouble controlling your magic.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Briggs said. “There is a person who has recently come into my life that really gets under my skin, and every time I get angry, my magic manifests in unpredictable and destructive ways.” He went on to explain the rain and the window incidents and how Melissa had been the only one who seemed to be able to help him break out of the cycle.

“Your girlfriend calms you down. That’s a sign of trust. You must have a pretty good relationship,” the doctor said as he made a few notes.

“Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend. More like a friend,” Briggs hedged. Outside of their pretend engagement and physical intimacy, he and Melissa hadn’t had a conversation about any sort of commitment. Sure, they had plans for later that evening, but it was their official first date.

“Do you have a romantic relationship with this woman?”

“Yes, but we aren’t committed,” Briggs clarified.

The doctor looked up at him curiously. “Why not?”

Briggs let out a bark of laughter and explained how he’d begged her to pretend to be his fiancée, and that up until this week, they’d just had a flirtatious and friendly relationship. “I’ve never been the commitment type.”

“What about her?” he asked. “Does she want more than something casual?”

“Yeah. She says she’s looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.” Briggs frowned at him. “What does this have to do with me not being able to control my magic?”

“I’m not sure yet.” The doctor smiled easily at him.

“I’m just trying to get to know you a little bit and understand your existing relationships.

Let me make sure I’m understanding this correctly.

You are in a physical relationship with Melissa, but she isn’t your girlfriend. You’d classify her as a friend. Right?”

“Yes,” Briggs agreed.

“And she appears to be the person you trust over everyone else?”

“No.” Briggs shook his head. “That distinction goes to my brother, King. He’s been my only family since I was seventeen years old.” Briggs took a few moments to fill him in on their shared history in the foster home and how they were always there for each other through whatever life threw at them.

“Tell me about that,” Dr. Blackwood said. “What have you two been through besides navigating the foster system?”

“Isn’t that enough?” Briggs asked, his voice cold.

“I wouldn’t use that expression, but I am aware of the trauma that is caused by losing one’s family and having to adjust to a foster situation that isn’t ideal.

It appears to me that you both leaned on each other during that time.

I’m quite certain you two share a bond that will endure for the rest of your lives.

I just want to know how your relationship has evolved since then. ”

Briggs didn’t understand why the doctor wanted to focus on the two relationships that meant the most to Briggs when clearly his trauma was with his parents and his foster homes.

But he found it easy to talk about his best friend, so he dove in.

“After King and I left the foster home, we worked all kinds of jobs to stay afloat. King was always trying to break into the music business, which took a lot of his time, and he didn’t get paid very well in the beginning.

So I worked two and three jobs, making sure we had our rent paid.

He pitched in whatever he had, but in those early days, it was a struggle.

“Then as King started getting more and more gigs, the finances evened out, and King made a point of paying me back. That was when I started saving for my house here in Keating Hollow.” Briggs swallowed, trying to hold back his emotion.

“King even offered to help with the downpayment on my house, but I refused. I wanted it to be something I’d accomplished just for me if that makes sense.

King’s star had started to rise. He was out on the road a lot, and when he wasn’t, he was getting more and more famous. ”

“And how did you deal with that? Your best friend was being pulled in many directions. Did you feel left behind?”

“No. Not at all.” Briggs shook his head.

“King always made a point of including me. And then as his fame grew, I started acting as sort of a buffer between him and his fans. Kind of like a bodyguard if you will.” Briggs explained all the insane fan behavior King had endured and how Briggs had been the one to shield him from a lot of it.

“You became his protector,” the doctor clarified. “And you gave him his own room in your house.”

“Yeah. Exactly. But he’s family, so it’s not like any of that was a sacrifice,” Briggs said, feeling a little defensive.

“Is that how you feel? Like you sacrificed part of your growth for your friend?” Dr. Blackwood asked.

“No. Not at all. Didn’t I just say it wasn’t a sacrifice?”

“You did. I just found it interesting that you used that word and wanted to clarify.” The doctor put his pen down and peered into the screen. “It sounds like your relationship with King is a little co-dependent, but that’s understandable considering your shared history.”

“We share trauma. That’s not shocking.”

“No, it isn’t. But it might also explain why King isn’t the person who can help you control your magic when it flares up. That trauma response is always in the background whether you know it or not.”

Briggs shrugged. “Okay. But I don’t need to know why King can’t help me. I need to know how I can help myself.”

“We’re getting there. This is all part of it. Are you ready to talk about your parents?”

“No,” Briggs said. “I’m never ready to talk about them.”

The doctor nodded. “We don’t have to do that today, but it would be helpful for me to understand your background.”

Briggs sucked in a sharp breath. “I’ll just tell you that even as a kid I had trouble controlling my magic.

As most kids do. But my father wouldn’t tolerate anything less than perfection, and he tried to beat my disobedience out of me.

At age twelve, he broke my arm, and that was the last time I saw him or my mother.

” He glanced away, unable to meet the therapist’s eyes.

“I see.”

Briggs heard him scribbling notes but still didn’t raise his gaze.

“Do you want to tell me how you feel about your parents now?” Dr. Blackwood asked.

“I’m pretty sure you can guess.”

“I could, but that wouldn’t make me a very good therapist,” he said kindly. “How about you just tell me how you feel when you think of them?”

Briggs closed his eyes. “Resentful. Betrayed. Abandoned. Unlovable.”

“That’s enough,” Dr. Blackwood said softly. “Are you okay to continue, or do you need a break?”

“I’m fine,” Briggs insisted as his eyes flew open. “I just want some tools to help me control this magic so that I don’t hurt anyone.”

“Okay. That’s good. Now, tell me about this woman who is back in your life. The one causing your magic to flare. What does she do that gets under your skin?”

“I don’t think this appointment is long enough to explain all that,” Briggs joked.

But then he launched into how they’d had a fling, he’d ended it, but she never got the message.

Then how she’d shown up and manipulated her way into staying with him, and now she was using him and King to further her engagement online.

The doctor nodded as he took it all in.

When Briggs finally finished, he added, “I can’t stand the manipulation. It makes me feel trapped.”

The doctor smiled at him. “There it is. The underlying reason why she gets to you so badly.”

“That’s hardly a revelation,” Briggs said flatly.

“But do you know why that manipulation triggers your magic?”

“No. I’m not reaching for it, and I rarely use my magic anyway. I don’t know why it happens, only that I don’t want it to,” Briggs said.

“I’m going to guess that this Kassie person tries to manipulate you in the same ways that your father did,” the doctor said.

“The way she doesn’t listen to you or respect your wishes touches that wound left by your father.

She’s not physically violent, but her words are carefully crafted to get what she wants from you, and when she doesn’t, she finds a way to punish you.

Whether that’s with a biting remark, or using you for her personal gain, or deliberately pushing your buttons to get a reaction, it all goes back to the same thing.

While your father was trying to beat your magic into submission, he instead conditioned you to lash out with it. Now you’re doing the same with Kassie.”

Briggs sat with that for a long moment. Then he nodded. “I suppose if I’d had a little bit of distance, I could have seen that myself.”

“One rarely does, Briggs. Not when childhood trauma is involved. Now about those tools. Are you ready for some suggestions?”

“Please.” A sense of relief started to sweep through Briggs. He didn’t know if the suggestions would work for him, but just talking to the therapist had helped validate some of his feelings. It made him feel like he wasn’t crazy after all.

“First, I want you to think of a place where you feel safe. Your comfort zone if you will. That can be a physical place. Or it can be a person. Or even an object if it calms your soul.”

“A safe place. All right.”

“Close your eyes and wait for it to come to you, and when it does, tuck it away in the corners of your mind. Make it vivid enough that when you need it, it’s easy to call up.”

Briggs did as he was told and thought that an image of his pretty yellow house would appear. It was the one thing that was truly his. Something that he’d earned. And he loved it. But instead, Melissa’s kind eyes and sweet smile were there, gazing at him. His eyes flew open, and he blinked rapidly.

“Your safe place was a surprise to you.” The doctor’s words were a statement, not a question.

“Yes,” Briggs said.

“I’m going to guess your safe place is the person you trust the most in this world. And it’s not King.”

“King should be my safe place,” Briggs said, frowning. How could Melissa be the person he trusted most when he’d only known her for a short time?

“Oftentimes, one’s safe place is with the person who has never let them down or who has an energy that is grounding,” Blackwood said.

“In this case, it’s both,” Briggs admitted.

“Okay. That’s good,” the doctor said with a nod.

“Now, this is what I want you to do when you start to get worked up to the point that you feel like you’re going to lose control; I want you to envision your safe place.

Latch onto the emotions you feel when you’re in their presence and let go of the frustration that’s wound you up so tightly that you fear you’ll lose control. ”

“So you just want me to think of Melissa?” Briggs asked, feeling like that was too easy.

“No, Briggs. I want you to remember how you feel when you’re with her,” he emphasized. “When you have your guard down and don’t feel the need to protect yourself.”

That lightbulb moment went off in Briggs’s head. Of course. All the uncontrollable magic. Why he couldn’t stop even when he wanted to. His father’s fists had trained him to protect himself at all costs.

Dr. Blackwood smiled at the expression on Briggs’s face. “Well, I think we’ve had a very productive chat today. Should we set up another appointment for next week to see how things progress?” he asked.

“Yeah, okay,” Briggs said.

“I’ll email you the calendar so you can pick a time and date. Have a good evening, Briggs.”

The video of the doctor disappeared from his laptop screen, and Briggs sat at his desk, feeling somewhat shellshocked.

It had only taken one appointment to get right to the heart of things.

He was under no illusion that he’d be fixed overnight, but he did have hope that he was finally on the right track.