Page 84 of Ripple Effect

“I always thought of you as a man of honor, Cal.”

“Josh, it’s not—”

“What I think? What Libbysaw? Jesus Christ, man, are you calling my sister a liar? Were you not kissing Sam’s wife in your own damn office?”

God, hearing these words come out of Josh’s mouth makes it seem so sordid when it was anything but. “You don’t understand,” I choke out brokenly. My legs crumble beneath me. I end up with my ass to my heels. “Sam…”

“Does Sam know?”

I turn wet eyes up to my best friend and whisper, “Yes.”

“And what does he have to say about it?” Josh demands.

I shake my head. Then realizing Josh can’t hear me, I say, “Nothing.”

“Nothing. I see. So, here’s what I understand. While my baby sister’s life is crumbling in front of me, the three of you have some kind of arrangement?”

I don’t say anything. I can’t make my mouth work like it wants to, like it needs to. It opens and closes, but no sound comes out.

Josh takes my silence as his answer. “I just want to know why you can’t leave her in peace, Cal. Just…stay away and leave us all in peace.”

I’m still crouched down, my head bowed, when I feel a hand touch my shoulder. My head snaps up into the weathering face of Admiral Yarborough. “Come on, son. Let’s get a plan of attack together.”

My brows lower in confusion. “All I wanted was to protect her. To protect all of us. Was the only way to stop it by not falling in love with her?”

Yarborough leans down, his voice weary. “Cal, the truth is we can’t help falling in love. And to be honest, I don’t think you’d be the man you are if you were able to.” Pushing up, he holds out a hand. “Now, come on. You can’t do this alone; you’ve screwed up too much already.” Shooting a filthy look over at Sam and Iris, he says, “All of you, my office. I need to know everything about how to approach your family. God only knows, with my luck, they’ll shoot first and ask questions later.”

“You’re probably right, sir.” Sam nods.

I swipe my fingers under my eyes. “If I’d just have told her…”

“You can’t wish for what you should have done, so stop wishing and start doing. Otherwise nothing is going to change. Not your life and certainly not your marriage.” With that sage piece of advice, Yarborough strides away, expecting us all to follow.

I scramble to my feet, following after him as quickly as I can. I know I love Libby with everything I am. But with all the half-truths I’ve told, the omissions, the flat-out lies, and all the pain, will the love I have be enough to light the shadows I’ve created in our marriage?

57

Calhoun

Year Six - Five Years Ago from Present Day

My leg is jumping up and down. I reach for the cup of coffee that was set down in front of me and realize my hands are shaking. Am I so jaded to what I’ve become that this is what adrenaline tastes like? Is it the raw fear of knowing there may be no going back to the life I had with Libby? That the last smile I ever exchanged was with the wrong woman?

I can’t manage to find that center of calm that comes so easily to me. I puzzle that for a moment while I wait for the person I’m meeting to slide across from me. Every time I’ve boarded a flight to leave Libby, I’ve done so with confidence because I know she was always waiting for me at the end. She’s my center, my touchstone, my heart.

“I fucked up,” I whisper aloud.

Just then, a man slides across the booth from me in the diner not far from the estate. Even if I hadn’t known Josh for years, I’d recognize him being related to Libby. They look too much alike. “The question is how much.” His voice is hard, giving me no quarter.

I don’t insult him by holding out a hand, but I do greet him. “Josh.”

“Cal. Now, tell me what the fuck you have to say so I can go back to my life and you to yours.”

I don’t show any reaction to the pure disgust in his voice. I’m certain that no matter what I tell him, there’s going to be plenty of that before we’re done. “Do you mind if I bring a few people over to help explain?”

He tips his head in acceptance. “I assume you mean Sam and Iris. And though I want to see them about as much as I want to see you…”

“Please, Josh.” I lean forward. Lowering my voice, I add, “We have authorization to tell you enough so you’ll understand.”