Page 6 of Right Next Door (Stone Family #3)

Nicole

I walk inside the home I’ve shared with Bryce for the last fifteen or so years, though the familiar scents and sights don’t feel like home anymore. It’s more like a set for a play. Like the books are for show and the walls are merely a facade. I make my way into the living room to find my husband.

Hunched over his laptop, Bryce has his elbow up on the arm of the couch, hand set against his head, his dark blond hair disheveled. I’m sure he’s filling out grant paperwork. This is how he always looks when he’s doing that, perturbed.

I watch him for a few moments in his usual button-up, sleeves rolled to his elbows, and slacks that have seen better days. He’s handsome, in that approachable, nerdy way that once charmed me, but now, I’m not sure I see anyone but a stranger.

Yet I know everything about him.

How he hates tomatoes on sandwiches because he thinks they make them soggy and that he has read every Game of Thrones book but hated the show.

He uses CBD to help him sleep, though once he does finally fall asleep, he almost always wakes me up with his snoring.

Most of all, this man has never once hinted at wanting an open relationship.

We’ve supported each other through life’s ups and downs, including when his father died a few years ago, and I’ve been there for all the times our relationship has taken a back seat to his work.

Besides the hurt, I think that’s what is bothering me the most. I have always been at his side, even when I didn’t want to be.

I’ve gone to the conferences and applauded him.

I’ve attended the boring parties and fundraisers.

Whether it’s a question about what’s for dinner or where to go on vacation, I’ve always compromised for what he wanted.

But now I’m seeing it all in a different light.

Our entire relationship has always been about what he’s wanted. I didn’t compromise; I gave in.

Like usual.

I was pleasing him.

Because that’s what I do. I don’t make waves. I don’t ask for more than I think I deserve. I say yes and smile and keep others happy. But what about me?

What do I want?

Finally, Bryce notices me. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I toss my purse down and step out of my ballet flats. “How was work?”

He shrugs. “Summer.”

Bryce is tenured at the university and well respected in what he does, but I don’t believe he actually enjoys teaching.

He does it because he has to. He needs to keep teaching for access to research and fieldwork.

Over the summer, he works with graduate students and usually spends a few weeks away doing fieldwork.

Which has me questioning if that’s one of the reasons he’s suddenly interested in an open marriage.

Maybe he wants to be free to do what he wants while he’s away, without repercussions. Then again, he could have done that at any time, and I wouldn’t have known. It’s not like I check up on him. I’ve always trusted him, and I never expected him to want to be with anyone else.

At least, until now.

Until everything I’ve known has been flipped upside down.

I sit in one of the chairs across from him, and I get right down to it. There is no point in beating around the bush. Right?

WWISD ?

What would Ian Stone do?

That’s my new life motto, and he wouldn’t waste time hemming and hawing. He’d face the problem head on.

So will I.

“We need to talk.”

Bryce nods and sets his laptop aside, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together between them, staring at me in his usual friendly manner as if we’re about to discuss buying a new rug and not the future of our marriage.

“I did some research today,” I tell him, pulling up the notes app on my cell phone, where I wrote down my questions. “And I want to know what exactly you’re picturing when you say open relationship.”

His mouth slants to the side in thought, and I’m not sure I’ve ever had a weirder conversation in my life.

Waiting to hear if he still wants me after all of our time together, because as much as Google told me that’s not what this is supposed to be about, that’s what it feels like—he simply wants someone else.

Finally, he shrugs and says, “It means we see other people. Explore. Have some freedom.”

Bryce thinks all day long. It’s his job. To study what makes humans human, but when his eyes meet mine, I’m not sure he’s ever been less human or more dismissive.

It’s clear he hasn’t really considered what he’s asking for. He’s put less thought into it than I have, and I’ve only had two conversations and a few hours down a Reddit rabbit hole.

“And what about rules?” I press. “Boundaries?”

He holds up his hands, as if he’s never heard those words before. “Why do we need rules? Isn’t the point of this to break free from all that?”

“Clearly, that’s what you want.” I think back to discussions we’ve had with Bonnie about being open with each other, and my husband sure is open to being open. But I’m not sure I’m okay with that. “So, do you want to sleep with whomever, whenever, without any consideration for me?”

He drops his chin for a minute before telling me, “That’s not what I’m saying. I love you, Nicole. I do. But I need…more.”

“More,” I echo, the word tasting bitter on my tongue.

I study him, this man I’ve spent nearly two decades of my life with.

He seems so different from the Bryce I knew when we were younger.

The one who would stay up late discussing philosophy and literature, who would laugh at my Jane Austen references.

What changed?

Him or me?

“Do you even still want to be with me, Bryce?”

His expression softens, and with the way he jerks his head back, it’s like he’s surprised I’d ask him that. Even consider it. “Yes, of course I want to be with you.”

I want to believe him. But there’s a nagging doubt in the back of my mind. “And what about me? Do you care what I do when I’m not with you?”

He hesitates, then shrugs again. “I trust you. You’re not the type to…you know.”

I suppose my anger has been building all day. More than the pain of hearing him basically tell me he’s bored of our relationship, is the rage.

It sends fire up my spine, red filling my vision. “Trust me to what?” I snap. “To not sleep around? To not have a life outside of you?”

If I weren’t so pissed, maybe I would laugh at his look of utter astonishment. That I would speak to him like this. But he’s unleashed something in me, whether he’s meant to or not. He set something in motion this morning that he can’t take back.

And I like it.

I’m tired of always doing what’s expected of me. Because fuck them. Right? That’s what Ian Stone would do.

Stop giving a fuck about what other people think or expect of you, and do what makes you happy.

I turn to my husband, my resolve hardening. “Fine. You want an open relationship? Let’s have an open relationship.”

He blinks, surprised. “Really?”

“Yes,” I say, my voice astonishingly steady. “But I’m not going to sit at home and wait for you, Bryce. I’m going to live my life. I’m going to find out what makes me happy.”

He opens his mouth, then closes it again, seemingly at a loss for words, so I keep going.

“My rules are that I don’t want to know what you’re doing.

I don’t want to hear about dates or other women, but I expect you to use condoms and birth control, and I want you to be honest with me when this is all over, which is the end of the summer.

We have until then to figure out if this marriage is still something we want. ”

He easily agrees. “Okay.”

I feel like we should shake on it to make it official, but even that is a little too weird for me, so I take my shoes and purse, and head upstairs to the bedroom. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know one thing for sure—I’m not going to be the good girl everyone expects anymore.

I’m going to find out who Nicole Kelly really is. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll find out what it is I truly want.