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CHAPTER FOUR

Jillian

It’s early morning by the time we binge watch a series of action movies, and I wasn’t wholly comfortable with the idea of him riding away during the twilight hours. Shyly, I asked him to stay, and he instantly accepted the invitation. Falling asleep with him beside me and waking up with him in my arms sounds like the best way to end and start the day if you were to ask me. Surprisingly, while we made out several times, he didn’t push for more, even though my body was primed and ready. I could get used to this, to having him in my space. I just need to see about getting over my mental roadblock and moving forward.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he says, his voice gruff from sleep.

“Me?” I ask. “I think you might need glasses, RiffRaff.”

“Nope, I have twenty-twenty, sweetheart,” he whispers, nuzzling my neck.

My bladder decides to make itself known and I say, “Can you hold that thought? Nature calls.”

He chuckles but releases me and I roll out of bed then head into my bathroom, hearing him go to the one on the other side, since I have a ‘his and her’ bathroom. I take care of business then set about refreshing myself, brushing my teeth then combing out my hair since it was a bit wild and crazy. We end up coming out at the same time and he wraps his arms around me and kisses me soundly then says, “Good morning, Jilly.”

“Good morning, RiffRaff,” I reply, a blush staining my cheeks.

After spending the night in his arms, something I’m not used to at all since Duncan preferred not to be touching when we slept, I’m feeling a bit… amorous this morning. Since I thought my libido had died years ago, I’m a bit surprised to be honest.

“When do you get Kimber?” he asks.

His heated gaze has me stammering like a lovestruck teenager as I think about why he’d be asking me that particular question.

“She’s coming home tomorrow after lunch,” I admit.

“Then let’s go snuggle some more, sweetheart. It looks like we got an early snow, so it’s gonna be cold as fuck outside.”

“Sounds perfect to me. Do you want me to make you some coffee?”

“I just want you,” he murmurs as he nips my ear lobe.

That one small nip of affection has my libido firing on all cylinders. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that titillating hum of awareness in my soul, and suddenly, I want him with a desperation I can’t even describe. But there’s still that voice in the back of my mind telling me that even if my body is ready, my heart and mind are not. A feat I want to overcome because the thought of losing him because I’m afraid, isn’t something I’m willing to let happen.

“Um, okay.”

“Jilly, there’s no fucking pressure, babe, I promise,” he states as he leads me back over to the bed.

“It’s been a long time for me, RiffRaff,” I reply.

“I bet I’ve got you beat,” he teases as we both climb into bed and then turn so we’re facing each other.

Scoffing, I tell him, “I sincerely doubt that! You’re… well, you’re hot then toss in the fact that you’ve got that whole silver fox thing going on and there’s probably a horde of women whose hearts have been broken.”

He cups my face with his hands and leans in until our foreheads touch. “It’s been over seven years, I think.”

I do the math in my head then start giggling because the irony is just too much without caffeine. “That means we’re likely in the same boat, probably within a month or two at least.”

I watch his eyes widen almost comically, like one of those shocked cartoon characters when they’re surprised at something that’s happening. “You’re fucking with me right now,” he finally says.

“Nope,” I state, popping my p for emphasis. “I’ve told you that before his accident, we were on the verge of a separation, but it was at least six months or so before that and since then, of course, I’ve been focused on school, Kimber and her active social life, and now work. I had to work through my trust issues where men are concerned because I felt utterly betrayed.”

“Do you know if the other woman who was in the car with Duncan when he crashed survived the accident?” he asks, his arms now around me as his hands run up and down my back, soothing me.

“As far as I know, she did, but I never spoke to her, of course,” I reply. “I mean, what she did went against the girl code as far as I was concerned.”

“Not wanting to bring up bad memories, Jilly, but I want to play devil’s advocate for a second, okay? Then we’ll see where the morning takes us.”

“Go ahead, RiffRaff.” I’m long past that hurt that smacked into me the moment I was told there was another woman in the vehicle with him when he wrecked.

“What if she didn’t know about you? What if he told her that he was single? People do it all the time,” he gently says.

Well, as gentle as his normally booming voice can, that is, but I still know he’s trying not to hurt my feelings. “Maybe she didn’t, I don’t really know, to be honest. He didn’t wear his wedding ring so there wouldn’t have been a line on his ring finger.”

“Babe, I’m telling you right now, if you and I ever decide to walk down that path, not only will I proudly wear a ring, but I’ll get one tattooed on my finger as well,” he says, kissing me again.

Since he has several he wears, this warms my heart for a number of reasons. First of all, the fact he would be willing to show he was claimed legally makes me want to pounce on him for some reason. Secondly, that he’d put our bond on his finger in such a permanent way tells me that he sees us going the distance even though we haven’t been dating all that long.

“You would?” I question, peering up at him with lovestruck eyes.

“Jilly, you haven’t seen all my tats, but trust me, it’s not an issue to go under a tattoo artist’s gun at all.”

I snicker because he’s got some impressive ink on his arms and thinking about where else he may have it has my core clenching. He’s everything I never knew I needed in a man, and he’s shown me countless times that he’s what they call ‘all in’. At least that’s how he comes across to me.

“And will I be seeing those tats anytime soon?” I ask, grinning at him.

“You can see them now if you want,” he replies, kissing my nose.

“Then show me what you’ve got, handsome.”

My challenge seems to ignite something inside of him as he quickly pulls his t-shirt from the back of his neck over his head before he flings it off the bed. He’s still wearing a pair of sweatpants he had in his saddlebags, but I can feel the unmistakable hardness of his cock pressed against my thigh and lower belly and know I’m more turned on right now than I’ve ever been in my life.

While my sex life with Duncan was okay, subpar at best, it was almost perfunctory at the end. Kind of like an, ‘oh, it’s Saturday night, let’s do it’ without any real spontaneity and minimal foreplay. With just a few kisses and some not-so-comfortable small talk, I’m beyond ready for RiffRaff.

I sit up so I can leisurely look at him, my gaze roaming across his muscular chest which has a smattering of chest hair. It’s not too much and not too little since he’s definitely all man, it’s just right as far as I’m concerned. He has a few tats on his pecs, but his biceps, which bulge nicely, have several, although his forearms are free of any ink. As my eyes continue moving down, I see his well-proportioned cock and wonder if it’ll even fit since it’s been ages for me.

“It’ll fit, darlin’,” he teases, bringing my attention back to his handsome face. My face feels hot, and I know I’m probably as red as a beefsteak tomato at this point, so I just shrug. “I can promise that by the time I slide into your delectable body, you’ll be able to handle me.”

A shiver courses through me at his gravelly pronouncement and I throw caution to the wind and take off my own pajama top, leaving my breasts bare to him. They’re not as perky as they were when I was younger and before I had Kimber, but I have a decent sized rack he approves of if the small wet spot on his sweats is any indication.

“Fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, reaching out to gently caress first one then the other until my nipples are fully erect and aching for his touch. His hands are rough and calloused, yet his touch is almost reverent.

“I um… they aren’t like they were when I was twenty,” I whisper. “Neither is the rest of my body.”

While I will never regret having my daughter whatsoever, pregnancy did a number on my body. My hips are fuller, I have a small pooch I’ve never been able to get rid of, there are silvery stretch marks underneath my boobs and across my lower abdomen where I carried her, and I’ve got a bit more junk in my trunk. Yet, RiffRaff doesn’t seem to give that first fuck.

“I’m not like I was when I was twenty either,” he admits. “I was a scrawny fucker and didn’t reach my full height until I was about twenty-five or so, then started packing on the muscle.”

“Just don’t want you to be disappointed,” I tell him, leaning down to capture his lips with mine so I can feel his chest hair against my nipples.

Ever since Kimber breastfed, they’ve been extremely sensitive, which is why I tend to wear a padded bra these days since the slightest breeze has them poking out.

“Not a fucking chance,” he replies once he comes up for air. “You good with me touching you?”

And, he just added another point in the pro column, not that I’m keeping score or anything. As soon as I nod, he starts his assault on my body which soon has me panting and writhing. Small kisses, nips, and licks have my nipples turning cherry red. He hasn’t even slipped my pajama bottoms off and I feel like I could detonate.

“RiffRaff,” I whimper. It feels like something is just out of reach, something I’ve never felt before by another’s hand. My biggest secret is I never had an orgasm with Duncan. He never went down on me, said it wasn’t his thing at all, so I learned how to fake it and he was so clueless, he bought it hook, line, and sinker.

I suspect this will be a completely different scenario based on how I’m already feeling.

“I’ve got you, Jilly,” he says.