Page 62 of Revelation (The Josh & Kat Trilogy #2)

“So, I gotta know,” Sarah finally says. “What the eff was the dealio with tonight? Jonas left, saying he was taking you for drinks because Josh wanted to act out an imaginary-porno with you? What the fuck?”

I blush. “That’s how Jonas described it?”

“Yeah. I was studying so I was like, ‘Have fun, dear.’ And then after he left, I looked up from my book and I was like, ‘Wait. Did I just hear that right?’”

I laugh. “Yeah, Josh and I like to get a little freaky-deaky. But don’t worry, Jonas was just our ignorant pawn—an unwitting extra in our movie. No Jonas Faradays were harmed in the making of our imaginary porno.”

“So what was the plot of this imaginary porno? And what was Jonas’ part in it, if you don’t mind me asking? Did he ‘come to fix the kitchen sink’ wearing a huge tool belt?”

I giggle. “No. Jonas’ part was very G-rated, I assure you.”

“You’re making me very intrigued—and very uncomfortable.”

“No, I swear. It was harmless.” I laugh. “I have this fantasy—well, I had this fantasy—I’ve now officially checked it off the list—that I’m on a date with some boring guy, like, you know, a guy I met online named Blane or whatever, and—”

“ Blane ?” Sarah says, aghast. “Blane’s not a name— that’s an appliance!”

“Exactly!”

We share a long laugh.

“I love Ducky,” Sarah says.

“So, anyway, Blane and I are at a bar, and while poor Blane is babbling about something excruciatingly boring, I catch eyes with the hot bartender and it’s like ka-boom.”

“It’s on like Donkey Kong.”

“Exactly. So I excuse myself to go to the restroom and on my way I slip a note to the bartender—you know, total slut move—”

“Total.”

“He meets me in the bathroom and fucks the crap out of me and then I return to my date like nothing happened.”

“Oh my God. Hawt .”

“Isn’t it?” I shudder. “So hawt. Gah.”

“And extremely freaky-deaky.”

“This coming from a girl who processed sex club applications?”

“People weren’t nearly that creative in their applications, believe me. You’d be shocked how same-same people are. Most people aren’t hankering to star in imaginary-pornos. They just want their dick sucked by a pretty girl.”

I laugh. “Sarah,” I say. “So unlike you to talk like that.”

Sarah bats her eyelashes. “Jonas is bringing out my dirty girl lately. I’m spinning out of control.”

“Good. It’s about time.”

“So my sweet Jonas was Boring Blane, huh?” She makes a frownie face. “That’s so mean—you guys are such meanies.”

“I didn’t do it to him. Josh arranged everything. Jonas just showed up on my doorstep and handed me a poker chip.”

“A poker chip?”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s Josh’s code for ‘Let the imaginary-porno begin.’”

“Oh my gosh. You guys are crazy.”

I shrug. “I told you. We’re freaky-deaky.”

“Well, I’ll have you know Jonas isn’t boring,” Sarah says, sniffing the air. “He’s really funny and smart and very, very interesting. In fact, Jonas is the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

I laugh. “I believe you. It wasn’t me who cast Jonas as Blane—it was his mean brother.” I make an apologetic face. “Are you mad?”

“ Mad ? No! I’d much rather you cast my boyfriend as the date you ditch than the hot bartender you screw in a bathroom.”

We both laugh.

“Speaking of which, did you snag your hot bartender or what?”

“Of course. He didn’t exactly play hard to get.”

“Was he actually tending bar or just sort of standing near the bar, pretending?”

My eyes blaze. “Oh, he was actually tending bar, all right.”

“Really? Wow.”

“I don’t know how he arranged it—the guy’s a magician—but when Jonas and I got there, Josh was behind the bar serving drinks like effing Tom Cruise in Cocktail. In fact, there was one woman who was just about ready to jump his bones.”

“Oh. You made mincemeat out of her, I imagine.”

“Of course.”

“Oh, Kitty Kat. ”

“Meow.”

Sarah giggles. “What bar was it?”

“Oh, you’re gonna laugh. The Pine Box .”

Sarah throws her hands over her face. “No!”

“ Yes . The whole time I was having flashbacks to when you and I watched Jonas with that bitch.”

Sarah shakes her head. “Why would Jonas take you there ?”

“Actually, it was really sweet. While we sat there on our date, he gave me a detailed play-by-play of when he first saw you behind that stupid menu.”

“He did? Aw.” Sarah visibly swoons. “Jonas is so sweet.”

“Well, yeah, he might be sweet, but he’s a date from hell. What guy goes out on a date and babbles the whole time about falling in love, sight unseen, with another girl? What a jerk. Who could blame me for screwing the hot bartender in the bathroom?”

Sarah makes a truly ridiculous face. “I can’t believe you had sex in the bathroom at The Pine Box.”

“Aw, come on now. Don’t be a Judgy McJudgy-pants, girl. I thought you said Jonas has been helping you find your dirty girl. Trust me, there’s nothing wrong with engaging in a little bathroom sex on occasion. You should try it some time, little Miss Goody Two-shoes. You might like it.”

She snickers. “Well, gosh, thanks for the tip, Kitty Kat. Maybe I will. One day. If I can muster the courage.”

There’s a beat. Sarah’s the absolute worst at playing it cool. She looks like a cartoon character with a secret.

I smirk. “So I take it from that ridiculous expression on your face you and Jonas have already had some über-hot bathroom-sex, huh?”

Sarah bursts into hearty, snorting laughter and her face turns bright red. “At The Pine Box!”