Page 34 of Return of the Darkness (The Lost Kingdom Saga #3)

“Then make me. Sadira will still be queen, but do not make her do something like this. I am her sister; I am a princess. I can remain close by her side and the king’s.

” Caligh rubbed his jaw, contemplating her words.

Soren felt another presence, a fiery warmth watching over the scene playing in her mind.

“Don’t take Sadira, take me.” Soren focused on Caligh; she was determined to do whatever this man required if it meant protecting Sadira. As Caligh watched, the chirping babies in the nest above flew free. One collided with Caligh, a shadow ripping free from him and breaking its neck.

“Very well, little bird.” Caligh extended his hand to Soren.

“Neither of you will remember this.” When Soren placed her trembling hand in Caligh’s, shadows enveloped her.

She turned to face Sadira, who gazed peacefully at their surroundings, seemingly unable to recall why she was there.

Soren bit her lip to keep from crying. Sadira could not see her.

What will life be like now ? she wondered as Sadira passed them both.

A pit formed in Soren’s stomach. Perhaps no one would ever see the real her again.

No one ever sees me, whispered the delicate voice in her mind as the memory faded.

Soren gasped in sync with Nyzaia, her chest rising and falling with rapid breaths.

Slowly, the water settled. She loosened her hand on Nyzaia, hoping their minds were now unlinked.

Unable to process what link to her Wiccan blood had caused such a link, Soren focused on slowing her breathing, calmed by the weight of Nyzaia’s arms around her chest, calming the frantic beating of her heart no longer tried to rip free of its cage.

“No one ever sees me,” Soren mumbled. Nyzaia stilled.

“No one understands. I don’t understand.

I don’t know where I begin, or he ends.” Tears slid down her face, and she desperately wanted to wipe them away.

She did not want Nyzaia to see her cry or show weakness.

The Queen of Keres had seen so much now, enough to create new torture tactics.

But Nyzaia surprised Soren as she slowly removed her arms, splashing the water against the ledge as she lifted herself up.

Still, Soren felt her legs remaining either side of her.

Soren did not dare move. Seiko no longer growled or whined as Nyzaia dragged the copper bowl brimming with blocks of soap, to the pool’s edge.

Seiko faced his keeper, the one good eye flickering just behind Soren to watch Nyzaia.

“If you back up towards the wall, there is a ledge below the surface you can sit on,” Nyzaia muttered, yet her voice still carried authority.

Soren did as she was told and sat, the water rising to her collarbones.

Nyzaia positioned herself until her knees were either side of Soren’s temples.

Soren crossed her arms and shivered, trying to focus.

She hoped the shadows lingering in her mind would not emerge.

For once, she felt like herself, though she no longer knew what that meant.

A clarity had returned, a clarity she felt during her dreams when gazing at her younger self.

Soren shivered again. Those bars had been erected in her mind ever since meeting Caligh, locking her true self away.

A light steam drifted off the water’s surface to ease Soren’s shivers, less intense compared to Nyzaia’s earlier fury.

Soren jumped as hands reached for her braids and stilled, waiting for Soren to calm.

Gradually, she lowered her shoulders as the quiet voice in her head offered assurances.

They liked and trusted Nyzaia. Nyzaia poured warm water over Soren’s head with one hand, while the other shielded it from falling down her face.

A moment later, Soren breathed in the scent of oranges as Nyzaia brushed the soap over each braid in turn.

Soren gulped and wondered if there was some memory buried deep within of her mother doing the same.

When was the last time someone had touched her like this? With care?

“Why did you start braiding your hair?” Nyzaia asked, and Soren frowned. “Focusing on one small memory, like a less traumatic moment, can help you to slowly recall more things.”

“Making it easier to get information from me, then?” Soren whispered. Nyzaia’s hands stilled briefly but then continued washing Soren’s braids.

“So you might differentiate between yourself and his influence,” Nyzaia said, her voice quiet but commanding.

“You said I did everything willingly,” Soren continued. “But in my mind, I am locked behind bars. Now he is gone, I’m trying to escape, but before… before my mind was only him. Is it possible he can control people in different ways?”

Nyzaia hummed. “It would seem so.”

“I was willing at first. I agreed to be in his servitude.”

Nyzaia’s hands froze, and suds trickled over Soren’s shoulders.

“To protect Sadira?” she asked. Soren nodded.

“Always to protect Sadira. That was my job.” Soren’s breathing quickened, and she shifted in her seat.

“I failed.” She tugged at the cuffs around her wrists.

“I failed. She was at risk by attending that battle. I—did I help lead him here? I don’t think I did; I just did as I was told, but—” Soren gasped for breath, her chest rising quickly again.

Nyzaia did not move except to pour more water over Soren’s head to free her chest of suds.

She rested her hand on Soren’s shoulder, the touch oddly comforting.

“Why did you start braiding your hair?” Nyzaia asked again, picking up the soap again.

Soren forced her eyes shut and focused on the motions of Nyzaia’s hands, moving slowly around her head and alternating between brushing her braids and soaking them with water.

Why did I start braiding my hair? Soren inhaled, holding her breath for a moment before releasing it.

An image of two identical blondes running through the square in Doltas appeared, donning matching green dresses and curls.

“We looked identical when we were younger,” Soren whispered.

“You and Sadira?”

“Nobody could tell us apart, and when I learned to fight, my hair got in the way. Braids helped differentiate us.”

“Good. Well done.” Nyzaia murmured. Soren’s skin tingled before she shivered under the water running over her braids.

“Why are you being kind to me?” she whispered, prompting Nyzaia to sigh.

Soren tilted her head back, looking up at the Queen of Keres.

Flecks of gold still blazed in her eyes, although the pool remained at a steady temperature.

Soren did not know what to think as Nyzaia paused to scan her face.

She lowered Soren’s head and continued washing the braids.

“The other rulers never judged me for who I was before I became queen, though a part of me still is that person. I have tortured, drugged, and killed others. I’ve stolen secrets, used my body for leverage, yet nobody has questioned me on it.

” Nyzaia squeezed the remaining suds and water from Soren’s braids.

“Farid reminded me that my father chose that life for me. It sounds as though your life was never yours, either.” Slowly, Soren nodded.

Finally, someone understood what it was like, but she did not deserve this kindness.

“But I am the reason Kazaar is dead,” Soren whispered. Nyzaia released Soren’s braids and hesitated before pushing herself up from the edge and away from the fallen queen. Boots padded across the tiles as she strode into her chambers.

“There are clothes on my bed. Change and meet me at the door in ten minutes,” Nyzaia called, her voice having adopted its usual sharpness.

Finally turning her head, Soren met Seiko’s eyes from where he watched her at the side of the bathing pool.

Soren pulled her legs up until her feet rested on the ledge below the water and wrapped her hand arms around them. She was alone again.