Page 25 of Repentance and Absolution

“Well…you know how we like to take the horses out together for a ride. And how much fun it is.”

“Sure.” I parted his shirt and his long underwear so’s I could kiss him along the light trail leading down his belly. He twined his fingers in my hair.

His words came out breathy and like a sigh. “I want to take Onyx out for a ride on my own.”

I stopped kissing him, my head all of a sudden filled with fear and trepidation. But I recognized real quick that t’was leftover alarm from what had happened with Spook and Whitlaw and all the other dangers we’d faced on our journey. So, I tamped my panic down…or tried to. I wanted to be reasonable.

“Why? Don’t you think it’s safer to go ridin’ together?”

“Sure, but I like to be on my own sometimes, Jimmy. And me and Onyx, we’re like, best friends, except for you n’ me, Jimmy. You’re my very best friend, and my sweetheart, and everythin’, a course. But I want to take Onyx out for a ride by myself.”

“But…you know there are dangerous animals around.” My belly clenched at the thought of Oscar being out in the woods on his own, even though I knew t’wasn’t reasonable. He was a grown man, even though we played at something else. I looked up in time to see him roll his eyes.

“We ain’t seen none. We’re near enough to the town that I reckon they stay away.”

T’was true, we hadn’t encountered any large animals yet, but I knew they were out there.

“Ain’t you heard the wolves howlin’?”

He nodded. “Not the last few nights. And they were so far away, Jimmy.”

I sighed. I was so fearful of letting him out of my sight.

“Hey,” he said, tilting my chin up to meet his gaze, “I can take care of myself, y’know.”

“Can you?”

He frowned. “Well, I aim to.”

I found one of his nipples with my mouth, knowing that would distract him. Sure enough, it did, and he didn’t say no more about it. And I finished undressing him and fucked him hard enough that he forgot about everything else.

But I knew I hadn’t had the last word on this.

* * * *

The next day, when we got back from feeding and watering the horses, and I could tell that Oscar was waiting for the right opportunity to bring up riding out on his own again, I sighed and pulled open the bottom drawer of the dresser we shared. He watched as I pushed the clothes aside and picked up something wrapped in a white cloth.

“Here. If you’re gonna go out ridin’ by yourself, I reckon you’re gonna need this.”

I placed the cloth-wrapped item in his hand. He stared down at it while I fetched a cardboard box from the same place.

“What is it?”

I nodded at him to see for himself. He unwrapped it and stared at it, then swallowed hard.

“It’s a revolver,” he stated in a reverent voice, then lifted his gaze to mine. “When did you get this?”

“The last time we were in town. You remember, you went off with Carson for a bit and left me at the store.”

“Oh.”

“It ain’t got any bullets in it right now.” I held up the little box. “I reckon you’ll need some teaching before I let you use it on your own and loaded.”

He touched it with the same reverence, then lifted the gun carefully from its wrapping, gazing at it from different angles. “It’s real pretty.”

I scoffed. “That thing can kill a man. Itain’tpretty.”

“Well, it sure isshiny. And it feels good in my hand.”