Page 29 of Release Me

‘Nope,’ I pop thePand pick up my drink.

‘What’s wrong with you lately?’ Sean dips his face closer to mine. ‘You’re normally so happy-go-lucky. Your mood swings are giving me whiplash.’

I exhale heavily. ‘You ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone? Like not even me.’ I thumb my chest harder than I intend and flinch.

‘Yes.’ Sean laughs then, low and long. ‘No offence, but you’re the last person I’d tell anything remotely private to.’

My jaw drops open. ‘Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m just a big joke to you all, aren’t I?’

‘No, you’re not a joke, but you’re usually a joker.’ He rubs a palm over the stubble skimming his chin. ‘What’s eating at you?’

I pause, and we stare at each other long and hard until something lights his eyes. ‘Are you…?’

‘What?’ I drawl.

‘All your teasing about me being gay…’ He inches in closer. ‘…Are you?’

I snort. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Do you know how many women I’ve fucked this year?’ I roll my eyes.

‘That’s precisely my point.’ Sean lifts his glass to his lips and stares at me over the rim as he drinks. ‘What exactly are you trying to prove? And to who?’

‘What makes you think I’m trying to prove anything?’ I swirl the whiskey in my glass. Sean’s the quietest of my brothers, but we’re the closest in age and he’s the one I spend the most time with. Well, he was, before he shacked up with Princess Layla. I’m happy for him, really I am, but being the last single Beckett brother is getting old, very fast. Christmas dinner will be more like a feast for the five hundred when you add in the wives, girlfriends, kids, pets, in-laws, out-laws and a partridge in a pear tree.

‘I don’t know, you just seem… lonely or something.’ Sean reaches out to touch my bicep. His sincerity shakes me to my core. ‘You’re young. I know it’s weird, all of us settling down and getting engaged and married, but it’ll happen for you too one day. You’ll find the right person when you least expect it.’

I scoff. ‘Who says I haven’t already?’

Me and my big mouth.

Sean’s eyes widen and his mouth forms a silentO.

‘Hypothetically speaking,’ I recover.

‘Well, hypothetically speaking, when you meet the right person, you should be grinning into a glass instead of trying to drown in one.’

I sigh, drain my whiskey and motion for another one. Sean arches a single eyebrow but says nothing.

‘Does she—he—not feel the same?’ He says gently.

A bitter laugh leaves my lips as the memory of Rebekka’s mouth on mine hits me like a ten tonne truck. ‘If the wayshekissed me, and the way her body responded to mine is anything to go by, I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.’

Sean stares at me for a long beat, confusion misting his pupils. ‘So if you like her, and she likes you, what exactly is the problem?’

My gaze remains locked on my brother’s. ‘She’s married,’ I spit.

Both eyebrows shoot skyward this time. ‘I see.’

But he doesn’t—he doesn’t see the half of it. Our parents raised us to be respectful, to treat women like queens, which in fairness, all of my brothers do. My parents have a happy marriage. A strong one. They lead by example. They would be horrified if they realised I was obsessed with a married woman, let alone my friend’s wife.

‘Do I know her?’ Sean asks quietly.

‘Does it matter?’ I shake my head. ‘It doesn’t change the situation.’

Sean thrums his fingers on the bar counter, and I know it’s only a matter of time before he works out it’s Rebekka.

‘I don’t know what to say. I thought Layla was off-limits, but fuck, at least she wasn’t married.’

‘Thanks, that’s really helpful,’ I flash him a sarcastic smile.