Page 15

There were a million times that would have been better suited to me trying to figure out my shift, but with Kit still at Nayeli's and Samson out on pack business, I was gifted a rare day alone.

After the attack, Samson had put an enormous amount of security on Nayeli's house, and we agreed to let Kit stay there until we had a better idea of what the attackers wanted. The plan was for me to go to Nayeli's as well, but after last night...well, it was safe to say I needed some time to clear my head.

I needed some time to process everything that happened. I'd been in heat last night, and Samson had...well, we'd...

Fuck.

I groaned, letting my head fall into my hands as I remembered the feel of Samson's hands on my body. I couldn't stop thinking about it. And the worst part? I wanted him again. Even though we'd spent most of the night fucking, I still felt empty.

Instead of laying in bed and dwelling on it, I showered after Samson left and decided to do something I'd sworn to never attempt again—shift. I hated to admit that Samson was right, but I was older and way more in control of my magic. I needed to try and use it to shift, especially if we were going to be in danger. I could defend my son a thousand times better with teeth and claws than I could with two fists.

I let out a long breath and closed my eyes.

"You can do this, Kiera," I murmured to myself.

I focused on my magic, letting it spread through my body. I'd partially shifted before, and it was an awful experience. Every inch of my body hurt, and I'd had to stop more than halfway through because I couldn't bear it. I knew if I shifted, I'd have to keep going until my wolf was fully formed, or I risked not being able to shift back.

And I didn't want to be stuck as a half-wolf for the rest of my life.

The only time I'd ever shifted, I'd been so distraught and overwhelmed by the pain that I blocked most of it from my mind. This time, I would go slower. There was no rush.

The quiet of the forest was comforting, grounding. I reached inside, searching for the well of magic I knew was there. I had used it for years, harnessed it, molded it to do what I wanted. But I hadn’t tried to shift in so long. Not since I was fourteen, not since the harvest moon when everything had gone so wrong.

But that was the past. Now, I needed to do this. For me. For Kit.

I reached deeper, calling for that magic, and felt it, flickering at the edge of my senses like a distant flame. When I called it forward, it came willingly, filling me with the warmth of its power. This was the easy part. It was the deeper, wilder part of me that would be difficult.

The part that terrified me.

I took another breath, trying to keep calm as I pushed myself to reach deeper. There, hidden away and curled up in sleep, was my wolf. She wasn't as close to the surface as I had been expecting, but I knew she was there. I could feel her presence, strong and steady.

With my magic, I reached out for her, coiling the strands of my power around her to pull her forward. There was a faint shift in the air, a cool breeze that passed over me, but nothing else.

Frustration bubbled up in my chest. Why couldn’t I do this? Why was it so damn hard?

More and more, I wrapped her in my magic, until she was almost cocooned in it, and I pulled. My wolf stirred, coming forward, guided by the power I had fed into her. Hope flared, but just when I thought I'd succeeded, the magic flickered out.

I was so close—but it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t pull it together. The power was there, I knew it, but it felt too scattered, too tangled. My mind raced, trying to sort through the mess of emotions, the memories, the fear that had held me back for so long.

But as the frustration mounted, a knot in my chest loosened slightly. I was doing this for a reason. I wasn’t just doing this to prove something to Samson. Or even to myself. I was doing it because Kit needed me.

With a sharp exhale, I reached out again, my fingers twitching. The magic responded, just a little this time. It felt like it was finally starting to unfurl, like a flower blooming in the dark. My body started to tingle, and I swore I could almost feel the shape of the wolf inside me stretching, clawing, pushing against the cage of my skin. I felt the beginnings of the change, the first flickers of something that could break free.

The searing, horrifying memory of my first botched change tried to surface, but I pushed it back with all my strength. The energy in my body felt like a wild, burning thing—like it could rip me apart if I wasn’t careful. The strain of trying to hold it all in, the way it pulsed inside me like it wanted to get out, was too much. I gasped, my hands shaking. This isn’t how it was supposed to feel, I thought, panicked. But I couldn’t stop now.

I stumbled forward, bracing myself against the nearest tree, my breath ragged in my chest. I could feel the magic—my magic—slipping out of my control, its wildness suffocating me. The sensation was painful, but not in the way I had expected. This wasn’t the shifting pain I remembered. This was the weight of not being able to connect with it, not being able to make it happen.

With a groan, I let the magic fade, pulling back with every ounce of willpower I had left. It wasn’t the shift I needed, but it was something. A reminder that I still had a piece of it left. That I wasn’t as broken as I thought.

Still, I'd failed. I didn't want a damn piece of my wolf, I wanted all of her. I wanted to shift, like my son, like the mate I should abhor, but I wanted to impress anyway.

Frustration and exhaustion settled heavily in my chest as I sank to the ground, my knees giving way. I didn’t cry. I didn’t scream. I just sat there, letting the silence of the forest drown out the noise in my head.

Dammit. I'd been so damned close.

As the sweat on the back of my neck dried and I caught my breath, I thought about how Samson had explained helping Kit through the change. He tapped into the power of the pack to do it, so maybe that would be the key for me, too.

My wolf wasn't the problem. I was. I couldn't untangle my witch magic from my wolf, and it was keeping me trapped.

But what else was there to do but try again?

I took a deep breath, ignoring the ache in my bones, preparing to try to shift once more. Before I could begin, though, the sound of crunching leaves interrupted my concentration. At first, it panicked me—was it the attackers again? But it only took a second for me to pick up their low voices and identify them.

It wasn't the attackers, but it was the second worst option—Pete, Curt, and Francine. What in the hell were they doing out in the forest behind Samson's house? I quickly ran through the mental list of my choices: I could run back to the house, stay put, and hope they passed me by, or confront them and just hope for the best.

Of course, I thought bitterly. What perfect timing. Just when I thought I might have a breakthrough.

After the attack yesterday, I didn't have it in me to get into another altercation, so I stood as quietly as possible, hoping that they would move on.

"Do you think it's this way?" Francine asked, but there was something different about her tone. Instead of snide mockery, she sounded...scared?

It was enough to make me pause. Maybe they weren't out here looking for trouble.

Curt spoke next, and his voice was also tight. "I don't know. It's been a while since we've been here."

I narrowed my eyes, studying the three of them closely as they came into view. Francine was limping, tears streaking down her cheeks. Curt held her steady as they walked, and Pete lagged behind them, his shoulders hunched. They hadn't noticed me yet, but they were definitely in trouble. I considered the scene, wondering what exactly I should do.

I stood, fingers twitching as I called my magic, ready to strike if they thought about messing with me again. But I knew that something was wrong, and their anxiety was rolling off. Either I could let them continue to wander, or I could speak up and make the first move.

Maybe my heat and connection to Samson made me too brash, but I chose the second option.

"Hey!" I called, stepping out from behind the tree. "What's going on?"

All three of them froze, their heads whipping around to stare at me. Pete snarled, but the sound died in his chest when he recognized me. There was a long stretch of quiet as we stared at each other, but finally, Curt spoke up.

"Don't freak out," He said, lowering Francine to the forest floor. "I know you don't owe us any kindness, but we were out hunting when Francine got bit by a rattlesnake. The Alpha's house was the closest, and we obviously know about your magic now..."

Curt trailed off, letting his words sink in. I glanced down at Francine, who looked even paler than usual. Her leg was swollen, the skin an angry red with the distinctive black striping of a rattlesnake bite.

"Shit," I whispered.

Francine sniffed, wiping tears from her face. "Can you help me?" She asked, her voice frail.

"Of course," I told her, my instincts kicking in. I knew what had to be done, but I still hesitated, looking at the three of them warily. I may have been willing to help them, but they weren't exactly my favorite people.

The memory of the last time we'd spoken came back to me, and I narrowed my eyes, glaring at them.

"I'm not going to help you if you're just going to be dicks again," I said firmly.

"We won't," Pete promised, his voice quiet. "We were assholes, and we know it."

I stared at him for a long moment, letting him squirm under my gaze, before I let out a long sigh. "Okay, fine." I crouched next to Francine and began working on the bite, using my magic to draw the poison from her system. She yelped, her body jerking as the magic rushed through her. I pushed deeper, focusing on the dark tendrils of poison inside her.

"It burns," Francine whimpered, but I ignored her, drawing the poison into my palm. My fingers glowed with silver light, and I let out a breath as the poison gathered in my hand.

"Got it," I muttered, pushing the ball of magic into the air and sending it deep into the forest.

Francine sagged back onto the ground, breathing hard. Her leg still looked bad, but it wasn't as swollen as it had been, and the redness was slowly fading. She reached out and gripped my arm.

"Thank you," she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I don't know what we would have done..."

I glanced at Curt, who nodded in agreement. Pete didn't meet my gaze, but he, too, nodded. A pang of sympathy hit me, and I reached out to squeeze Francine's hand. "You're welcome."

I stood, dusting myself off and ignoring the ache in my bones. I'd used a lot of magic to pull the poison out of Francine, and I needed a moment to gather myself.

Curt watched me closely, his brows furrowing. "Why did you help us?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused.

I hesitated, thinking about how to respond. "Because you needed it," I finally said, shrugging. "It was the right thing to do. You're part of Samson's pack. My pack, too, I guess."

Curt didn't look entirely convinced, but he nodded slowly. "Still, we haven't exactly been kind to you."

I let out a long sigh. "Yeah, you haven't. Ever."

Francine's cheeks reddened, but Curt just shrugged. "We know. And we're sorry. Samson told us everything that happened between you two, and he was right. You didn't deserve to be treated that way."

Surprise rippled through me, and I gaped at Curt. I didn't expect Samson to tell them anything, let alone stick up for me. He hated these guys.

Pete finally spoke up, his voice low. "You didn't deserve it. And we're sorry."

I studied Pete for a long moment, watching as he clenched his jaw, waiting for me to either accept or reject his apology. I remembered the last time I'd spoken to him, when he'd been cruel, so much like the others, but there was something different in his eyes now.

He looked ashamed.

"It's okay," I finally said, shaking my head. "Just get the hell out of here before I have to explain to Samson why I'm hanging out in the woods with my former bullies. Please."

Pete nodded quickly, helping Francine to her feet. Curt took her other side, and they continued on down the path, heading toward town. I watched them go, frowning slightly.

I didn't want to admit it, but Samson's talk with them had clearly worked. My Alpha wasn't just talking about change. He was working towards it. It was something I never thought I'd live to see.

Maybe there was hope for the Saltfangs after all.

***

Healing Francine had given me a second wind, and it wasn't until two hours later that Samson found me. I was hyper-aware of him, and even with my eyes closed, I could sense that he was near. We had barely spoken since we slept together, and having him so close was wildly distracting. When I felt him and smelled his scent, my mind immediately went back to the feeling of him inside me, and how uncontrollable my need had been for him.

It was embarrassing, but even worse was that I wanted more.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He asked, stopping short when he saw me.

I didn't answer for a moment, focusing on my task. I'd finally managed to tap into the pack bond, and I was holding it steady. It was a small thing, but it felt like a victory. "I'm practicing. Like you wanted me to."

Samson frowned. "You should take a break."

"I'm fine," I told him, closing my eyes. The bond was strong now, and I could feel all of my packmates, like we were all connected by an invisible thread.

I expected him to argue like usual and try to force me to stop for the time being, but instead, he settled on the ground next to me, close enough that our knees were touching. "Alright, if you're going to be stubborn, let me help you at least."

Flustered, the hold I had on the pack bonds slipped through my fingers, and I felt the urge to scream. I held it back, though, and gritted out the words, "How can you help me? You've never helped me before. Why now?"

He didn't answer right away, and I opened my eyes to look at him. he was watching me. "I want to do things differently now," he said finally, reaching out to take my hands. "I want to be a better leader to our pack and a better mate to you."

I snorted, trying to pull my hands away, but he held fast. "I mean it, Kiera. I know that I haven't always been a good Alpha to you, but I want to change that. Look...I helped pull Kit through the change. I could do the same for you."

The idea of being forced through the shift made me shudder with revulsion. I remembered the pain of it and the feeling of being trapped inside my own body. I couldn't do that again. "No," I said sharply, pulling away. "I'll figure this out on my own."

Samson frowned, "I wouldn't drag you through it like I did with him. It would be more like me holding your hand as we walked through it together, you know what I mean?"

I was still suspicious, but having a guiding hand didn't sound so bad. "And you could really help me? You wouldn't just make it worse?"

"I helped Kit, didn't I?" He pointed out, "Look, Kiera, I know I've been a dick, but the connection between us, especially after last night, is powerful." He held out his large hand, palm up, "If it becomes too much, you can always let go."

To say I was taken off guard was an understatement. If Samson wanted to, he could hold me down and force me through the shift, and I wouldn't have a bit of say in it. But here he was, offering a helping hand and promising we could stop if I wanted to. He was like a stranger wearing the skin of the Alpha that had broken my heart so long ago. Except that pushy, dominant Samson was still there, he was just willing to compromise, at least a little bit, for me.

I eyed his hand, and then his face. His eyes pleading with me to let him in, to trust him. "Alright," I said softly. "Let's try it."

A smile broke out on his face, and he took my hands. "Good, now take a deep breath and close your eyes."

I did as he instructed, shutting my eyes tight. It was quiet. The only sounds around us were the birds and the gentle breeze rustling the leaves.

"Focus on your breathing," Samson murmured, squeezing my hands. "Feel the air enter your lungs, and then let it out slowly."

I let out a shaky breath, focusing on the pack bonds. They were strong, pulsing with power, like a steady heartbeat.

I could feel all of my packmates, their emotions clear and sharp. There was Samson, right in front of me, a powerful presence, steady and sure. There was Nayeli, a bright spot of light, and Kit, who radiated happiness and innocence. And then there were the others, each with their own unique signature.

As I focused on the bonds, I could feel Samson's presence grow stronger, wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

"That's it," he said, his voice low and soothing. "Keep breathing and focus on the pack bonds."

I took a deep breath, letting myself relax into the bonds. It was strange, but I could almost see the pack bonds now, like a web of silver threads, stretching out into the forest. I felt Samson's bond ghosting over mine—not tangling with it, but simply touching. A guiding hand, just like he'd said.

"Ready?" I heard him say back in the real world, "I'm going to start shifting. Just follow my lead. We'll go at your pace. I won't leave you behind."

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed. I felt Samson's power surging, and then there was a shift in the bonds. His wolf form pressed against mine, not forcing me to change, but pushing me forward.

I felt the familiar itching under my skin, and I let the change take over. The process was agonizingly slow, and I fought against the pain, trying to stay in control. Samson was there with me, a solid presence in the bond. He kept pushing me forward, and I let out a cry as my body finally started to shift.

The world around me grew smaller, and I felt my bones break and rearrange themselves. My muscles stretched and tore, and the pain was unbearable. Then I remembered...I wasn't powerless. I'd healed Francine earlier with my magic, so why couldn't I take the pain away from myself the same way?

I called to my magic, letting it wrap around me like a shield. The pain dulled, and I felt myself slip deeper into the shift. The change was smooth this time, and I could feel my wolf form taking shape. My senses were heightened, and I could smell everything around me—the trees, the grass, Samson's spicy scent. It was incredible.

Triumph rang through me like a bell.

I opened my eyes and saw the world through new eyes. Everything was sharper and clearer. I took a deep breath and let out a howl. It echoed through the forest, and I felt Samson's pleasure at my success through our bond. I turned to look at him and saw his wolf form standing next to me. He was massive, his fur silver-white, his eyes oddly human in his canine face. I nuzzled against him, feeling a wave of affection.

I’d done it. I’d finally done it, after all this time.

Samson nudged me with his nose, and I felt a tugging in my chest, urging me to follow him. I did, and we began running through the forest together, our paws flying over the ground. The wind rushed past my ears, and I felt truly free for the first time since I'd returned to Saltfang territory. Even my heat was taking a backseat to the new sensations, and I was content to simply run with Samson. There would be time for me to slake my hunger for him later.

I had no idea where we were going, but I instinctively trusted my Alpha, my mate, as we flew over the ground.

Eventually, we came to a stop near a small pond. The water was clear and cool, and I could see my reflection—dark fur and darker eyes—before thirst took over, and I lapped at it, grateful for the chance to rest. Samson did the same, and then flopped down next to me, his warm body pressed against mine. It was strange, but I was comfortable with him like this. He wasn't the domineering Alpha anymore. He was just Samson, my mate. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed happily.

I'd done it. I'd shifted, and it hadn't been bad at all. In fact, it had been fun, running through the forest with Samson by my side. My wolf form wasn't as weak as I thought. I looked up at the sky, watching the clouds drift by, and let out a long sigh. It was nice, but I should have known that peace never came easily to packs like ours.