Page 15 of Regret Me Not
Hal shrugged and fiddled with his water glass. “You didn’t do it. You wouldn’t do it, either, would you.” The surety in his voice was flattering, and for once Pierce didn’t have to worry about disillusioning him.
“Nope. Cynthia and I did not have that problem.” Odd how it had never occurred to him, not even when things were really bad.
“Then what was the problem?” Hal asked.
The waitress arrived with their iced teas—Hal’s sweetened, Pierce’s unsweetened with lemonade added—and they gave their orders. Hal added an order of fried calamari because he said it was really wonderful and not on the platter, and then she left and they were alone.
With that question hanging between them.
For a breath, a heartbeat, Pierce thought about refuting the question. Claiming it was too personal. Asking to talk about something stupid.
All he had to do was say “Wabbit season,” and this convo never had to happen.
But Hal had bought him clothes. Not because he didn’t think Pierce was presentable, really, but to defend his honor.
What an absurdly sweet thing to do.
Pierce would have rather paid for the clothes—especially since Derrick’s contact had gotten back to him that morning and practically slobbered all over the cyberwaves at his expertise. He had a settlement from the insurance company, a settlement from the old job—and a new job in the works.
He could have bought his own goddamned clothes.
But Hal apparently had money of his own. What he wanted—what he really wanted—seemed to be friendship.
And that came with telling embarrassing stories about where you decided to draw the line.
“She was judgy as fuck,” Pierce said boldly.
“So that’s a deal breaker?” Hal asked, cringing. No doubt he was thinking about his earlier celebrity bitchery, but that wasn’t what Pierce was talking about.
“You know how you said your ex didn’t mean it personally? About cheating?”
Hal nodded, looking troubled. “Yeah. I mean, he meant it every time he said it was the last. I sort of felt bad for him in the end, but I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“See—she would never have forgiven like that. I mean, you broke up with him, and good for you—but she wouldn’t have been okay with it inside. She would have told her mom and her sister and her entire extended family, talking about the cheating again and again and again, and how awful it was and what a horrible human being the cheater was, and then she would have pulled out a bible verse or quoted some prominent writer or politician and… and never, not once, would there have been an acknowledgment, I guess, that the guy was human. Not once.”
“But you didn’t cheat,” Hal said, confused. “So why is this a deal?”
“Because it wasn’t just cheating!” Pierce burst out. “It was….”Oh hell.“See, my sister, who is the sweetest woman in the world and lives with her equally sweet husband and two adorable kids—she got pregnant at eighteen. And it wasn’t easy. I mean, Sasha and I both stopped talking to our parents about it because, dude! They were horrible to her. And I’d just gotten my job at Hewlett-Packard, and I supported her while Marshall worked on getting them an apartment, and we tried to get them cars that worked. She could have gone home, I guess, but they were just hell-bent on making her ‘pay.’ Like having to deal with a kid while you’re getting through college isn’t payment enough?”
“Yeah, that’d be rough,” Hal said, nodding. “And she had another one?”
Pierce shrugged. “You know, they were married by then and had jobs, but even if they didn’t—whose business is it to say it’s a bad thing? It’s like you and your parents. Why should they get to tell you that you’re too gay for Christmas? I think that’s horrible. And Cynthia—she just didn’t let it go. So I’m talking to Sasha over the computer, and I say something about a business trip I might have to take to Korea, and Sasha… she’s never been out of the country, right? She gets really wistful, like, ‘Oh yeah, I’d love to do that,’ and Cynthia—who is just walking around behind me, putting away laundry—goes, ‘Well, you shouldn’t have gotten knocked up!’”
“Oh ouch!” Hal stared at him with wide horrified eyes. “What. A. Twat.”
“Right?” Oh, Pierce had been wrong. This wasn’t something that needed to be hidden. This was something he needed to get off his chest! “And I managed to get off the call with Sasha, but Cynthia and I—well, we fought for the next two days. We fought over dinner, and we fought while we showered. And all I was saying was, judging people is a really shitty way to go through life. And all she kept repeating was that if people didn’t want to be judged, they shouldn’t fuck up.”
Hal cringed again, and Pierce felt a surge of affection for him that had not a thing to do with his warm brown eyes and lush pink mouth or the new clothes leaning against Pierce’s calf as he sat. “I’m not wrong, am I?”
“Not from my view,” Hal said sincerely. “But—and I’m not being judgy—”
Pierce smiled, appreciating him.
“—but this didn’t occur to you before you got married?”
Pierce blew out a breath. “She was my first relationship after Loren,” he said simply. “And I was so damned lonely. And she… she could be really kind. I just never saw the strings attached until it was too late.”
“Was that the only reason?” Hal asked after a pause. “Because divorcing someone for just one flaw, that seems sort of….”