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CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

REED

A sickening feeling swells inside my stomach as I pull up outside Gia’s. Her car is parked outside the house, but Tyson’s truck is missing. He was supposed to be collecting Bryce from school and should be here by now. I glance at my phone again to see no missed calls or messages. Surely, she’d have called me if it was something to do with one of the boys, right? My heart flips at the thought. She would have.

I swallow back the bile gathered in my throat, switch off the car, and rush up the steps with my heart hammering in my chest and my fingers trembling. I dig into my pocket for the spare key she gifted me recently and unlock the door.

Silence greets me, which is rare. Due to how small the house is, every sound is heard, and I’ve become accustomed to my shattered peace, and I’ve grown to love the chaos of the small house. I glance around the hallway, and nothing looks amiss, but as I step into the living room, I notice Jax’s portable crib is missing, causing a pain to lance through my chest. I spin on my heels and dash up the stairs and into Gia’s bedroom. Her bedroom drawers are pulled out and empty, and when I throw open the bathroom door, her toiletries are missing.

What the fuck?

Sickness wells inside me, growing thicker and thicker by the second, and I almost stumble over my feet to get to Bryce’s room, where again, his drawers are bare.

Oh Jesus. I feel like my chest is caving in and the ability to breathe is gone. I swallow hard and push myself forward.

Next, I make my way to the room that has been working as a small nursery for Jax. Although he’s been in our bedroom every night, this one is to house his clothes and diapers. It’s a room I’ve suggested numerous times we paint and stick those cute zoo animals up that Bryce suggested, but Gia has halted my plans every time. I won’t lie; I was hoping it was because she didn’t want to put down roots any more than she has already here, and was finally coming around to us moving into our own place together.

Jax’s room is just as bare. The clothes that fit him are gone, and when I open his closet, the next size up are missing too, causing a shudder to rack through me.

Holy shit. Oh Jesus, she left.

She left me.

I grip onto the doorframe to steady myself; my lungs feel like they’re being crushed as I struggle to breathe. Panic rushes through my body, but my brain cannot compute a single action, forcing me to close my eyes to try to regain composure.

Please don’t do this to me, baby. Please.

My world tilts on an axis, and I know deep in my heart.

They’re gone.

My entire world has disappeared.

I snap my eyes open and fumble in my pants pocket for my phone. My fingers shake as I somehow call Owen.

“Yeah?” His gruff voice filters through the line.

My throat seizes up.

“Reed?”

“O-Owe—” I clear my throat and attempt to speak again. “Owen, Gia is gone. She’s gone, and she’s taken the boys.” I fall over my words as I struggle to get them out.

“What? Reed, you’re making no sense. What are you talking about?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “She’s gone, Owen!” my voice booms off the walls. “She’s fucking gone!”

My legs threaten to give way.

“Listen.” His sharp voice cuts through the air. “Calm down. Think logically. When was the last time you heard from her?”

My mind whirls as I consider the hectic day I’ve had. When I messaged her at lunch, I assumed she was napping with Jax. In fact, I remember thinking about how adorable they look when they nap together. Both of them have the same bow lips that flutter when they’re sleeping. “This morning.” I swallow hard. “The last time I heard from her was this morning.”

“Is her car gone?” I can hear him tapping away on his laptop. “Are there any signs as to why she left?”

I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to answer one question after the other. “Car is still here. I-I don’t think there’s a reason why she left.” My voice wobbles, and I hate the vulnerability behind it as I drag my hand through my hair. I’m already telling myself I deserved this. I’m not good enough for them.

“Search the house, Reed. Did anyone break in?”

A new panic flashes through me, and I rush down the stairs so quickly I almost fall, then I stride into the kitchen to check the door. “No. The door is secure.” I glance at the windows. “Windows too.”

As I enter the living room, my eyes latch onto an envelope, the letter discarded on the floor. I pick it up and one name has my inside twisting. “Oh shit.” What the hell have I done?

“What?”

Panic hits me like a truck. “Oh, fuck no.”

“What is it?” Owen snaps as my eyes scan the letter. “Reed, fucking talk to me, man.”

A prickly lump gathers in my throat, and I struggle to swallow the vomit rearing its ugly head. “Oh God, Owen. It’s bad.” A sob lodges in my chest. “So fucking bad.”

“Reed, fucking speak to me now!”

“She’s seen the contract with Fanzio,” I cry out, and a stabbing sensation lances through my chest. She thinks I wanted custody of Jax. That I was going to take him from her.

“What?” Owen booms back. “What the fuck? You said this was under control.”

Despair ravishes through me, and I sink to the floor. My body shudders as an icy chill takes over me at the way I’ve betrayed her when I promised her the best of me. “I know.” Realization that I’ve destroyed her, destroyed us, flashes through me, and I struggle to breathe, knowing how badly I fucked up. I hurt her, and ultimately, Bryce and Jax too.

Oh shit, my heart squeezes tightly, and I rest my palm over it, willing it to slow down as I squeeze my eyes closed.

My son will grow up hating me. He will think I’m a deadbeat like my father and won’t know how much I love him and his brother. How his momma is my world. He’s going to fucking hate me.

Jesus, what the hell have I done?

“I know. I fucked up. Please fucking help, me, Owen.” I swipe the snot from my nose as I hiccup through my tears. “Help me figure this shit out.” It feels like someone has stamped on my heart and ripped it from my chest, leaving me open, exposed, and ultimately, useless. “Please,” I beg.

He sighs heavily. “I got you, man.”

I can hear him moving around and the sound of keys as I stare at the paper in my hand. The same paper I willingly signed not so long ago.

Just what the hell was I thinking? What sort of person was I to do this? She deserves better than me, they all do. Maybe they’re better off without me in their lives. A dull ache throbs inside me as my emotions flow from me like a river. Devastation isn’t something I’ve ever felt before, but this has to be what I’m feeling now.

Jesus, what I would give to hold her in my arms and tell her I’m sorry. I want to tell her I love her and our little Jax, that Bryce is the best son in the world and I love him like my own because he is my own. He’s a part of me because he’s a part of Jax and her.

I love them, and I never got to tell them.

Such a fucking dick.

I stare down at the floor, and memory after crushing memory hits me.

My son opening his eyes for the first time, and the way his small hands ball into a fist as he feeds from his momma.

The way Bryce snuggles up to me at night while I cradle Jax, and the way Gia rests on my chest, stroking over my heart while I tell her she’s my little thief.

“Fuck,” I choke out, and push away the tears.

Will my sons hate me like I spent years hating my father?

Somehow, I push off the floor and make my way upstairs and into our bedroom. As I slip inside the sheets, I inhale her peachy scent, then close my eyes, curl up in a ball, and let myself cry like a damn baby, wishing for nothing more than to turn the clock back. An animalistic wail erupts from my chest, and I cling to her pillow, wishing I could be the man I wanted to be and the one I became, if only for a little while longer.