Page 27 of Red Demon (Oria #1)

No

I ’d been over to the North Barrack a few times before—in daylight—during very different circumstances.

The path out of the compound wound through a copse of maple trees, their leaves waving in the rosy sunset.

A raven cawed from the trees as I led Meragc’s borrowed horse through the gate.

Laughter spilled from an open window. I took a deep breath to ease the knot of tension in my chest. I’d delayed this enough.

Mahakal met me in his office. Electric lights cast my sweaty reflection in a window that would—in the daytime—overlook the training yard.

The air inside Mahakal’s office tasted sterile, like sharpened steel and clean Chaeten efficiency.

A black settee faced a sturdy desk, and he’d flicked all the screens to black before I entered.

The Major’s smile dimmed when he saw I had none.

As I sat, Mahakal moved to a cabinet, uncorking a half-empty bottle of wine.

“It’s quite late, friend.” Mahakal’s voice was so much friendlier than those whiteless eyes. “Not that I mind.” He set down a glass for me. “You’re welcome to rest the night—”

“No.” My voice came out loud, sharp.

Major Mahakal froze, then set the wine bottle on his desk. He turned to me with unbridled concern.

“No thank you,” I said again, my mouth dry. “Thank you, really. But…”

Mahakal waited, pushing the red hair from his striking eyes.

I shook my head, the movement jerky and raw. “This has been a difficult decision, but I won’t be joining your unit. Thanks again for the honor of your offer. That’s all I came to say—I’ll just head home.”

I planned words on the ride that felt all wrong now. He wouldn’t understand how I felt his unit wasn’t my path, or that I had an Asri family that remade themselves around me to fit my jagged pieces.

“I thought you’d feel drawn back to the Bend,” Mahakal said, his voice soft.

“It’s not home anymore. There’s no one there left to defend. My people are here.”

Mahakal watched me, his features weaving a tapestry of emotions I couldn’t decipher beyond a twitch in his eyes.

“You know there are things I’m not cleared to tell you,” Mahakal said. “But believe me when I say the rebels are still among us. My unit is your chance at justice, vengeance—your best chance.”

“I agree.” Heat rose in my chest, the phantom itch for violence still tempting.

“I think it’s time for me to let go of all that.

You can’t promise me the Red Demon. I’d pledge my life in a heartbeat if you could.

There’s no point in me pledging my life in your unit in exchange for vengeance I may never see.

So I’m going to move on, do what I need to do to stop obsessing about this.

I have a job I’m good at, good people around me. ”

Mahakal sighed, a long, weary sound. “Right.” Disappointment flickered in his eyes before he stood up to his full height.

“When we first spoke, I told you I wanted to protect you, to offer you a boon for all you suffered. I will ask you just one more time before I wash my hands of this. Join my unit. Even if I can’t guarantee you the Red Demon, I have plans for you.

I will ensure you rise to the life you deserve. ”

“I don’t want that.” I hated the quaver in my voice.

Mahakal crossed his arms, studying me in silence. Finally, he nodded. “Go in peace, friend.” The Major offered me a small smile and a firm grip that threatened to swallow me whole.