Page 58 of Reckless Storm (San Francisco End Game #3)

“Wrong? What the fuck, Hayls. Tell me you didn’t feel something just now or ever. Tell me and I’ll back off.”

“We can’t do this. We’re supposed to stage a breakup and—”

“What? Are you serious right now?”

“Yes. We can’t. This isn’t supposed to happen.”

I frown, confused, my heart breaking. “So, what… You want me to keep pretending? To shower you with affection in public. To kiss you. To hold your hand. To fuck you. And then break your heart, all while pretending I’m not in—”

“Don’t. Please.” She throws her hand out to stop me and my heart cracks.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t say it. Not now.”

Fuck . Not now or not ever? Did I get this all wrong? I was sure she felt the same, but… “I guess that gives me my answer.”

“No, it doesn’t. Not at all. Look at this from my perspective.” She stalks out of the shower and grabs the towel off the rail, wrapping it around her. “Not too long ago you were in love with someone else. What happened to that? Have those feelings just gone?”

Jesus. She’s hurting? “Other than today, Bria and I haven’t spoken in months. We’ve talked about this. I don’t feel the same about her anymore. Those feelings aren’t there. And the more time I spend with you, the more I realize that they never really were.”

“Come on, Reed. This whole thing started so you could get over her.”

“No, Hayley. This whole thing started for you . I was always doing it for you.”

“You wanted to move on. You wanted to get over her.”

“So now you’re attacking me because I did?”

Hayley’s shoulders drop as she briefly closes her eyes. “I’m not attacking you. I just don’t think it’s that easy. And I don’t want to…” She trails off but it’s not hard to fill in the blanks. She doesn’t want to get hurt.

“Hayley—”

“No. Wait.” She raises a hand between us. “I think you should kiss her.”

“The fuck.” I fumble to remove the condom and grab the second towel, securing it around my waist before running a hand through my wet hair. This is not a conversation we should be having while naked. “What the—”

“I think you should kiss her and see how you feel.”

“That’s insane, Hayls. It’s—”

“Is it? What if I fall in love with you and your feelings come back? What if you go to LA on Monday and when you see her at the hospital, she’s begging you to love her?”

“That’s not going to happen, Hayls. That—”

“Wrong answer. Because if you’re moving forward only because you think that way, then your feelings haven’t changed. You’re just really good at telling yourself they have.”

Hayley turns to walk away and my chest aches. “Fuck,” I groan. “Hayley. Wait . You’re wrong.”

“I need to be alone.” She can’t even look at me as she collects my clothes from the floor and heads to the bedroom door, motioning for me to walk through it. “Let’s talk tomorrow, when we both have a clear head.”

“No, Hayls.”

“No?” She pauses, her shoulders dropping before she spins to face me. “Why—”

“I’m not kissing Bria. Not now, not ever.

But it’s not because I’m scared to face my feelings.

Or deluding myself in saying I’ve moved on.

I’m not kissing her because I don’t want to.

She told me on the phone tonight that she feels the same way I did.

I did . Past tense. And do you know what I felt?

” I pause, letting that all sink in before repeating my question. “Do you?”

“No.”

“ Nothing , Hayls. I felt nothing for her. Except maybe sadness, knowing our friendship will never recover from this.”

“Reed.” Hayley’s eyes soften as she steps forward, but it’s my turn to hold up my hand.

“No. Wait. I have never felt for anyone the way I feel for you. Deny it all you want, but I know you feel it too. This thing between us has been real for a long time. You don’t want me to kiss Bria for me .

You want me to kiss her because you’re scared.

And that’s the exact reason why I won’t.

Because I would never do that to you. This is real.

We are together, and I’m no cheater. I liked her once, sure.

Hell, I more than liked her. But it’s nothing compared to how I feel about you. ”

“You can’t know that unless you—”

“Fuck that, Hayley. I’m nothing like the guys you used to date, so don’t try and turn me into that. It won’t work. You said so yourself. I’m your golden boy. Your golden boy. And you’re mine . You can fight this all you want, but I lo—”

“No. Please. Don’t.”

“Hayls?”

“Don’t say it.” She shakes her head and I audibly sigh. “Please.”

Dropping my face into my hands, I let out a guttural groan before I stand tall and nod, giving in. “Okay.” I sigh in resignation. I’m not going to win this argument tonight, but I refuse to give up.

Doing as she requested, I move toward the bedroom door, grabbing my clothes from her outstretched hand.

But I’ve barely taken a step when she intertwines our fingers, attempting to stop me.

“I’m not ready,” she rushes out, her fingers squeezing mine.

“I’m not ready,” she repeats and I close my eyes, letting out a relieved breath as my head falls back.

“Reed?” she questions before I’ve turned to face her, and when I do, her sad expression breaks me.

“Please don’t give up on me. Not yet.” Her voice shakes and I drop my clothes, pulling her into my arms, my chest tightening along with my hold, my body deflating as all the frustration and hurt seeps from my pores.

“ Hayls .” She’s so strong all the time but it’s these moments that mean the most. When she lets me in.

Wriggling out of my grip, she steps away and a nervous smile tugs at her lips.

Without a word, I pull her back into me, pressing my lips to her forehead, breathing her in. I’m not giving up. I don’t have it in me to leave her. Not yet. “I’ll wait, Hayls. Of course I’ll fucking wait.”

“Thank God.” She curls her hands around my arms and holds on for dear life. “I can’t lose you. I don’t know what I’d do if that ever happened. And that’s what scares me the most.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Hayley. But I can’t kiss her. I won’t.”

“I understand. I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter. I just need time. Please just wait.” Resting her chin on my chest, she glances up at me, hitting me with another rare moment of vulnerability, her expression uncertain as she pleads.

“I promise. I’ll wait. But you have nothing to worry about… I don’t love you anyway,” I lie, speaking into her hair, smiling when her body shakes in amusement.

She doesn’t respond, but she doesn’t have to. We’ve already established I’m a bad liar.

And now she knows the truth.

I love her. And I’m never letting her go.