Page 105 of Rebellious Royals

So I shut off the water and wrapped a towel around my body. Leaving a trail of wet footprints behind me, I moved to the door that led into my suite and pulled it open.

Fine.

Immediately, my brother stepped through it, arriving right in front of me. Without pausing, he wrapped my wet body up in his arms and hugged me hard.

"Carol is not your fault," he said, holding me even tighter. "If anything, she's mine. Mostly, she's theirs, Asp. Whoever is trying to hurt you finally did. They made you hurt in here." And he leaned back to tap my chest. "Don't let them win like that."

I grunted and rolled my eyes, flicking a hand back to remove the water I'd left on the floor even as I headed into my room.

"Rain's on her side with Keir," I told him.

"Don't care," Torian said. "I'm here for you."

So I spun back to face him. "And you aren't even listening to me!"

"I just want to make you stop hurting!" he snapped. "Why is that so wrong?"

"Because this is supposed to hurt," I told him. "Torian, you can't undo what your mother did to you, so you're trying to protect me so much I'm going to suffocate! I'm a queen! A real fucking queen, do you hear me? And I will be a very different queen than Titania. I won't hurt people. I will make myself understandtheirpain. I will feel for them, and I will have a good heart. I will love - in all the ways a person can. I will love the strangers, the friends, the enemies, and everything else. I will be a good fucking queen, but to do that, I have to stop avoiding it!" And I huffed out a breath. "And that means accepting that this sucks."

"Yeah," he said softly.

"You can be the strong one, Tor. I can be the soft one with a heart that's always bleeding for people. I'm actually fine with that."

"But will it make you a good queen?" he asked. "Or will it make you easy to corrupt?"

I just reached over to clasp his arm. "I have you, remember? When I'm a pushover, you'll step in. When you're a dick, I'll remind you to have a heart."

And he pulled me up against his chest again, hugging me gently this time. "I didn't know her either, Asp. I should've."

"But they know we're here now," I reminded him. "Tor, they know, and I want to be something that gives them hope. I want the Winter fae to realize our court isn't gone. We haven't been decimated."

"Me too."

"But I don't know how!" I went on. "I have everyone telling me to be careful, and then this makes me think I've been too careful. I mean,Icould've blocked the conjuration that killed her. I could've survived that, but she didn't stand a chance, so shouldn't they be coming at me? At us?"

"So what do you want to do?" he asked.

Yeah, that was a hard question to answer. If I knew, I probably would've been doing it already. In truth, I didn't have a clue what my options even were, let alone which ones of them I liked. I just knew I was so sick of this mess. I was tired of the hate for my season, and all for the dumbest reasons!

"I don't know," I admitted.

"We could crush all the Children of the Exodus," he offered, but the curl to his lip made it clear he wasn't serious.

"And do to someone else what was just done to Carol?" I shook my head. "We don't know if they're guilty, Tor. We'd be judging them by their group, not their own actions."

"So what will you do when you find someone who deserves to be punished?" he asked. "Could you do it, Asp? Could you actually destroy someone if you had to? Or should I be ready to step in?"

His eyes jumped between mine, proving this wasn't an attempt to scold me. He was honestly asking, and from the feel in my mind, it seemed he would accept my answer, no matter what it was - but Carol had changed something.

"When the Huntsman was dragging me to the gate," I said, answering in my own way, "I remember what it felt like knowing you were there. I wasn't alone, not even then. But just when I was sure it would all be too late, do you know what I saw?"

"No," he admitted.

"Rain, Keir, and Hawke." I crossed the room and sat down on the edge of my bed. "I saw heroes charging in, Tor. I saw them as my saviors, as a chance to make things better. I saw them, and I felt hope. I felt like maybe we could stop what was happening - and they did! But that's the thing. I was the one who needed help, and I will never forget that split second when I realized I was being saved. Next time, I kinda want to do the saving."

He moved closer, crouching down before me. "Then be a queen no one can stop, Aspen," he breathed. "We both know you can, and I don't mean cruel. I just mean powerful. You are the daughter of Oberon. You are the true heir of the Winter Crown. Ms. Rhodes can't tell you how to act. Neither can I."

"But you're my brother," I reminded him.