Page 111 of Rebellious Hearts

“Hey,” I said, clapping my hand into Luke’s when I arrived at Jester.

“What’s up,” Luke said, and I sank onto the couch.

“Nothing new,” I said. “What are we drinking?”

“Whisky, neat.” Luke lifted his glass.

I reached for my glass, which Luke had already ordered for me. A friend indeed, for sure. I picked it up and lifted it into the air in a salute.

Luke did the same, and we threw back our drinks.

The whisky burned down my throat with a smooth, smokey aftertaste. This was what I liked about well-crafted alcohol. It wasn’t just about getting drunk—although tonight was a great night for exactly that—it was about the art, the mastery behind it.

“You’re thirsty tonight,” Luke said when I refilled my glass from the bottle on the table, pouring way more than two or three fingers.

I shrugged. “It’s one of those days, you know?”

“Yeah…” Luke didn’t look like he quiteknew, but whatever. I wasn’t going to talk about it.

“How’s work treating you?” Luke asked.

I shrugged. “Same old now that I’m back. Planes to sell, you know. Chris and Alex are gearing up for the yacht show in Monaco but I don’t know if I’m going this year.”

“Come on, it will be fun. We can go and have a ball.”

I nodded. Maybe. I would have to see if that was something I wanted to do. These days, nothing I used to love really felt worth it. Food turned to sand in my mouth. Activities I used to love bored me.

Hell, the last time I’d had a good cup of coffee that was worth my time was at the hotel. I didn’t even do that anymore.

It was just a bad patch, I told myself. It was just a slump because I was disappointed in myself for losing the contract.

“What’s Alex planning to do now that you lost Harborview?” Luke asked.

I knew he didn’t mean it in a bad way, but sayingIlost Harborview stung.

I’d screwed the whole thing up, and I knew it.

“I don’t know,” I said, trying to act like I didn’t give a shit. “Find another location, I guess. Hopefully he sends someone else to do it, too. I’d rather be here in the office than work with people who don’t want to be helped.”

Every word I said was bullshit, and I knew it, but acting like I cared would just make everything worse.

Because Ididcare, and I didn’t want to admit to that.

I was a mess.

We drank together in silence for a while.

“How about you? Glad to be away from your family?”

Luke groaned. “Family is always bittersweet. We hate spending time with them and being forced into shit sucks. But they’re family, you know? You love ’em no matter what. They’rethe ones who will stick to your side and be there for you no matter what.”

I wanted to argue with Luke, tell him he was talking shit. Family weren’t the people who stuck to your side, family were the people who gave you up because having you was too inconvenient… until I realized the Blackwoods had been my family for a long, long time. Sticking to my side no matter what. Loving me through all my mistakes and flaws. Caring for me even though there were times I didn’t deserve it.

Fuck, I’d been looking at my family as the pieces of shit who’d given me up, feeling like I just wasn’t good enough, but the Blackwoods were the ones who’dchosenme. They’d believed I was enough, and they’d made me a part of their family because they’dwantedme. From the moment they’d met me.

Those people who’d brought me into this world were… nothing.

The realization hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks, and it felt like my whole world was upended.