Page 34 of Raziel

“Because when I’m chewing, I’m not snorting. When my mouth is full, I’m not thinking about pills or powder or who I used to be when I was high all the time.”

She scraped another bite of cake and didn’t look at me.

“It’s stupid, I know. But sugar hits that same part of your brain, gives you a little rush. Not the same, but close enough to shut the itch up for a while.”

She finally glanced up, expression unreadable.

“So yeah, I eat cake. Cookies. Shit I don’t even like sometimes. Because it keeps me from going back.

And going back… would kill me.”

I didn’t say anything.

Just watched her.

I swallowed. That hit harder than I expected.

The moment felt too heavy, and I could suddenly feel the melancholy wafting off her.

I gripped her jaw, forcing her to look at me. Her face—gently but firmly—tilted up.

“How you gonna repay me then?”

She smirked. “I can show you better than I can tell you.”

She gave me a devious smile.

I’m pretty sure it was the same smile Eve gave Adam.

Or Delilah gave Samson. Or Helen gave Paris right before the world went to war.

And I was no better man than any of them—

I knew better.

I saw the warning signs.

Felt the fire at my heels.

Heard the voice in my head telling me to walk away.

I wasn’t blaming or implicating because I was being a fool, though.

Eve, Delilah, Helen—

they didn’t force those men to fall.

They just gave them the chance.

And I took mine with both hands.

Knowing damn well it might burn everything down.

And not giving a fuck.

She pushed me back onto the couch and climbed into my lap, and I did nothing to stop her.

A man led by his desire is already halfway ruined. Why not let her fire consume the rest?