Page 39 of Raven Rebel (Sablewood #1)
Meara
M eara awoke to find the Rangers in their rooms. Clutching her robe firmly, she scowled at Farran as he lounged across the settee. Ayala stood in her doorway with a similar expression.
Cahira sat quietly while Lorand stood with his back against the wall and observed the room. Tayen reentered the room and handed a cup of tea to Farran.
“Good morning, lovely Meara,” the half-fae leader of the Rangers called out. “Come join us for breakfast.”
“Give me a moment, please,” she replied, shutting the door of her room. Brenna sat up in bed, bleary eyed. “The Rangers are here.”
Brenna scrambled from bed and began dressing. The sisters fell into their familiar routine of tightening dress laces and brushing out each other’s hair. Meara found comfort in the gestures, especially when everything else in their lives had changed.
When Meara returned to the sitting room in her loose travel tunic and trousers, Cerne was closing the front door behind his back.
“Any word?” Tayen asked.
Cerne sighed heavily. “We have leave, but Argyro is still in a foul mood. I do not think he found any solutions. It’s in the hands of King Eldric and Queen Malacia now.”
“We will travel back and see what we can negotiate,” Farran declared, slurping his tea. Lorand accepted a cup as well, though he was better mannered.
Meara perched on a plush bench and accepted a cup of tea and a sweet pastry shaped like a flower.
Beside her, Brenna nibbled at the treat happily.
Cerne occupied the armchair beside her, and his arm reached out, hand settling on her thigh.
There was no hiding the contact in such a small circle, and her heart leapt into her throat.
Brenna’s mouth tugged into a smile, but no one else reacted.
“I wish you safe travels,” Cerne said.
“Thank you. I’m sure we will see you soon. I suspect there will be a lot of back and forth required to sort out this mess.” Farran stood and brushed crumbs from his leather vest. “Shall we?”
Lorand pushed off from the wall, and Cahira rose, both following her leader. With a tip of their heads, the Rangers exited.
The moment Brenna closed the door to their bedroom, she spun to face Meara. “What was that?”
“What?” Meara felt a blush creeping up her neck.
“Cerne’s hand.” She stepped closer, eyes sparkling. “On your leg. ”
Meara bit her lip. She didn’t want to lie to her sister, but sharing what happened felt strange, as if it would make it real. Fingers twisting together, she confessed, “Cerne kissed me.”
Brenna seized her shoulders. “You’re jesting.”
A smile fought it’s way over her face. “He kissed me after the tavern, but I thought it was a drunken mistake. But then he did it again last night on the balcony.”
Spinning, Brenna clenched her hands into fists and threw her hands out in victory. “I knew it!” She turned back. “This is wonderful. It will secure our place in the Autumn Court.”
Meara’s heart stuttered. She was fond of Cerne and enjoyed kissing him, but it did not negate her desire to return to their mother.
As Brenna twirled and chattered about the future while packing their belongings, Meara gripped her elbows across her body and sagged onto the end of the bed, feeling utterly torn in two.
The forest embraced them, the shadows of old growth bathing her in their shadows.
Meara felt the dregs of magic that stirred in her bones when she kissed Cerne and again in Luce’s presence.
It teased her, small glimpses of something she should be able to summon whenever she liked.
Yet it stayed elusive. She sat atop Bran, swaying to his gentle gait, and searched for the piece of her that drew upon shadows.
Frustration built, until her face turned tart and Tayen frowned when he looked her way.
She wanted to grind her teeth together and growl her frustration until it built in a shrieking scream. Instead, she pressed it down. Like all the times before, she buried the thoughts and tamped down the rage she felt until it fit within her ribcage, a cold sharp bundle.
One, two, three. She counted her slow breaths, emptying her mind of the chaos.
The horses shifted positions and Tayen guided Eirlys to walk beside her. “What are you stewing over?”
Scowling, she let her exhale hiss through her teeth. “I am frustrated about my magic.”
“Have you summoned shadows again?”
“They made an appearance on the balcony at the banquet.” She turned the events over in her mind. “It was dark and I think that made it easier. But what’s the use if I can only work shadows in the night?”
He nodded thoughtfully, staring ahead at Cerne’s swaying antlers. “It’s nothing to worry about if it takes you a while to learn to wield your craft.”
Meara’s eyes narrowed. Brenna rode ahead, so she lowered her voice to keep her words between the two of them. “My sister summoned flame and light within a day of unlocking her magic. Magic so strong it shattered the enchantment placed over us. Clearly, I do not have the strength she does.”
Tayen’s lips pursed. “I am not sure that is true. But if you stop training and working on your craft, it will become true. You will impose limits upon yourself that were never meant to be.”
“You are doing nothing for my frustration,” she deadpanned.
His exhale turned to a laugh. “I am afraid I have no words of wisdom that won’t aggravate you today. You are short tempered when you don’t get enough sleep.”
There was no use in arguing. She wrinkled her nose and turned forward, denying him her attention. He must have felt the matter was settled, because he nodded to her and urged his mount forward until he rode beside Brenna.
As the trees thickened and forced them into single file, Meara’s mood stayed sullen. Brenna sensed that she needed time, and gave her space to brood. She was grateful to reach the Autumn Court and retire to quiet solitude.
A week passed quietly. Meara spent her days focusing on her magic, and yet she couldn’t conjure so much as a wisp of darkness.
After long, frustrating days, she took her dinner in her rooms and avoided Cerne.
Thoughts of her eventual return to Dornadan soured the blossoming relationship between them.
Brenna sat with her, sharing encouraging words, though it only made Meara feel worse when Brenna flicked droplets of light between her fingertips when she grew bored.
Tayen was busy with politics, Ayala disappeared entirely, and Xurey did not return. Even Seda was busy training her new recruits, and Meara knew her sister was lonely. She sat with Kirrily and sipped tea as Meara stared out the window and agonized.
Finally, she reached her breaking point. With a frustrated growl, she threw herself onto their bed. Brenna moved to sit beside her, stroking her hair. “Meara, you need to stop. You’re driving yourself mad. You’ve barely eaten, you haven’t seen Cerne in days, no wonder you cannot access your magic.”
Meara rolled over and narrowed her eyes. “And I am supposed to rely on that male to manifest my magic?” The fact she had only brought forth shadows when assisted weighed heavily on her, and she was feeling sensitive.
“No, but you deserve to be happy. And you aren’t going to figure out your magic by punishing yourself,” Brenna said, firmer. “ Tomorrow, we will take a walk in the woods and relax. Perhaps that will help you.”
Exhaling harshly, Meara buried her face in the covers. Brenna’s nails pressed into her shoulder blades. “Fine,” she mumbled. Happy, Brenna patted her back and rose.
The next morning, the Autumn Guard assembled.
Seda held meetings of her lieutenants, and as Brenna and Meara walked the halls of the manor house, they passed an open door revealing the circle of faeries.
Dull green tunics wrinkled under pieces of cinched leather armor.
They were dressed for training, lacking the sleek armor of battle, and they looked tired.
Seda’s dark eyes rose to meet theirs, and a nod passed between them. Meara could read the stress in her eyes, the chafing responsibility to prepare her guard when a conflict was looming.
A nervous energy filled the manor, and Meara was relieved to step outside. Brenna tucked her hand into the crook of Meara’s arm, their shoulders bumping together as they walked.
Meara’s boots crunched the ever present autumn leaves. Brenna’s feet were quieter in soft leather slippers, hidden under her simple linen dress. The caramel color of the garment was a shade lighter than her warm skin, causing it to look like it was glowing against her neckline.
Brenna slowed, and Meara turned to face her. “How about here?”
She looked around. The trees were spaced further giving them ample space to work. “Show me what you’ve got.” Meara smiled, loving the way her sister’s face lit up.
Brenna shook out her shoulders and then her hands, her lashes fluttering against her cheeks as she focused inward. Brightness started at her palms, coalescing until it took shape. Meara squinted, unable to look directly at the ball of light. It flickered like flames, but she felt no heat from it.
With a look of strained concentration, Brenna drew the light up into a column. It blazed, turning Brenna white and splashing the same blinding light across the tree branches nearest to them.
Meara threw an arm up to cover her eyes. “That is incredible,” she murmured.
Brenna’s smile widened. Her nose wrinkled as she clenched her hands into fists and extinguished the light. “And now heat.” Her exhale slowed, no visible sign of magic appearing, but then Meara felt warmth emanating off of her skin. It was like standing beside a burning hearth.
“Is that uncomfortable?” she asked. Brenna shook her head. “Does it feel hot to you? I would be sweating.”
A giggle escaped her sister. “No, it's like being wrapped in a blanket.”
“You’ll never be cold again,” Meara mused.