Page 28 of Raised On It (Between the Pines #1)

Miles

“ S mile!” Rachel holds up her camera, and we take the hundredth group selfie of the day.

“I am gonna miss you guys so much,” she says, turning to our little group.

Reece wraps his arms around her but doesn’t say a word.

He doesn’t need to. He has everything he needs right there pressed against his chest.

I’ve never seen the guy so happy. He has his girl back, and in a couple of days, they’re leaving for Africa together.

I’ve always been happy for my friends when they fall in love, but now, I look at my friend, and I feel it in a whole new way.

Now, I understand how whole he feels to have her in his arms again.

There is no better feeling.

In fact, attending this wedding today and being surrounded by all of the love in the room have me even more certain than I was when I crawled out of her bed this morning of what exactly it is that I want in life .

Her.

Leaving her today was excruciating. After three nights and two full days living and breathing nothing but Mason, there were moments when I thought there was no way I would ever be able to leave.

Or walk again for that matter.

I was always pretty dang sure there was a heaven, but wondered what it might be like.

Since Mason O’Brien walked into Eastlyn, I’ve been getting glimpses of it every time I see her face, but last night, she fortified my belief.

I’ve been floating in heaven for the past couple of days, and all I want right now is to get back to it.

Don’t get me wrong, today has been a blast. Drinking and dancing with my friends is always a good time. I just wish Mason was here with me.

When I told Scheana I would take her to the wedding, I thought for sure it was a promise I wouldn’t have to keep because she and Adam would be back together, and they are.

But he got a job out of town, and it includes working weekends, so here I am, at Brittany and Jason’s wedding with Scheana instead of Mason.

Scheana’s a fun girl, and we’ve had a great time, but the toasts have been made, cake has been cut, dancing has ensued, and I’m itching to get the hell out of here and back to my city mouse.

My city mouse who has hopefully had enough hours away from me to fill that journal of hers. I can picture her with her hair in a messy bun on top of her head, wearing her Romance Writers Do It Better oversized T-shirt and nothing else.

If our time locked away in Katie’s house impacted her the way it did me, she can still feel me inside her and still smell me—not just on her sheets but everywhere.

There hasn’t been a moment of champagne and celebration when she hasn’t been on my mind.

Most prominent, though, is the space she’s taking up in my heart.

I need to get out of here.

Back to Mason .

“Rach, you won’t be gone forever, and we’ve still got tomorrow night. No goodbyes just yet,” Amelia says, finishing the last sip of her bubbly.

“She’s right,” I confirm even though it will be a bummer to see her go. It always is when one of us leaves Eastlyn. “Tomorrow night, you can get sloppy drunk and tell us how much you love us, but right now, one of you needs to catch the bouquet.”

Yes! A sure sign the festivities are coming to a close--he throwing of the bouquet.

The DJ asks all the unmarried ladies to gather, and they swarm like bees to honey.

“1…2…3!”

The flowers float through the air, and just as they should, they land in Rachel’s hands. She blushes, the girls high-five her, and the guys pat Reece on the back.

“Now it’s time for all those single men. Line up, gentlemen.”

The first thing that crosses my mind is how good it feels not to be single. However, not many actually know this new bit of information. Since I’m not married, I find myself being dragged out to the middle of the dance floor where the girls just pushed and shoved each other for the bouquet.

We’re given our own countdown, and when the silk elastic flies in our direction, my hand reaches up on instinct, and I snag it out of the air.

Like Reece, I’m met with pats to the back and hoots and hollers. Before Mason, I wouldn’t have wanted the thing anywhere near me. Today, I shove the garter in my pocket, hoping it’s a sign of things to come.

I hope it wasn’t obvious that I was trying to drop Scheana off in a hurry. I know I’m an asshole, but I couldn’t get her out of my truck fast enough. I tried my best not to be rude, but damn, did we have to recap the entire day on her front porch?

Fortunately, she lives only a few blocks from Katie’s place, and I’m running up a new set of front steps in a matter of minutes. She’s never seen me in a suit, so I’m looking forward to her reaction when she opens the door.

Knocking on the door and waiting for her to answer are a feat when all I want to do is barge through the damn thing so I can take her in my arms and tell her how much I missed her.

Still not answering, I knock again, and when there isn’t a reply, I’m about to do just that but relief washes over me when the door begins to open.

Thank God!

“Look what I got,” I say, spinning the garter on my index finger. “Think it’s a sign?”

My relief is quickly replaced by anxiety.

Her face.

The glow from this morning is a distant memory.

“What is it? What’s happened, Mase?”

I step toward her only to be met with her palm on my chest, applying pressure to keep me back.

Away from her.

“What the hell is going on? Mason, talk to me.”

“Nothing’s going on. I’m just really tired and about to go to bed. Can we talk tomorrow?”

It’s only nine. I know we didn’t sleep much the past couple of days, but this is coming from the writer who stays up all night perfecting her craft. She’s going to bed already? I don’t think so.

“Mason, honey let me in.”

She relents, pushing the door open. She walks away toward my bag next to the coffee table. “I went ahead and packed your things up for you so you’re all set.”

“You packed my things for me? I’m all set? What the hell happened while I was at that damn wedding? ”

“Miles, I’ve just had time to think, and we both know how this is going to end.”

“Do we now? Why don’t you enlighten me?”

“Listen, I’ll be gone in a few weeks, and there’s no reason to get in any deeper when we both know it is just going to end. This way nobody gets hurt.”

“Nobody gets hurt?” I don’t mean to raise my voice, but what in the fuck is she talking about?

This already hurts!

Like a son of a bitch.

“Miles, please just go.”

How does she not realize she’s ripping my heart to shreds?

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell I’m missing. What happened while I was gone?”

“I just can’t do this again, okay?”

“Do what again?”

“This! You! I won’t be that woman again. The woman who gets played. I won’t do it, Miles!” she yells.

“How am I playing you, Mason? This is bullshit! You know that, right?”

“It’s not. I saw the pictures the girls were posting today. I’ve lived this life before, and I can’t do it again.”

“What pictures?”

I have no idea what she’s talking about. Did some old sex tape I’m not aware of somehow come to light?

She picks up her phone, taps the screen a couple of times, and then hands it to me. It’s a picture of me and Scheana. We’re on the dance floor, and she’s bent over in front of me, and I’m pretending to spank her. It’s funny.

“So?”

Ripping the phone out of my hand, she finds another picture and then shoves the phone back in my face. Okay, so in this one it looks like I’m licking her face. It was gross to her, and that was comical to me .

“What? Am I not allowed to have a good time?”

Still not replying, she takes the phone again, and this time, when she finds what she’s looking for, she hits play and holds the phone up.

A video of us on the dance floor plays. I’m in the center of the dance floor surrounded by my friends, I guess they do all happen to be women, and I’m doing what I do best. Being the life of the party.

In the video, I dance my way around the circle of women and give them each a little twirl, some twerking for me and me acting like I like it.

A couple of the older ladies get a kiss on the cheek, but it’s really just me entertaining the wedding goers and myself while I’m at it.

“I still don’t understand,” I say genuinely.

“Miles, you’re that guy.”

“What guy is that?”

“The player. The one who needs all the attention, especially from women. The one who flirts. The one who kisses people on the cheek and dances suggestively with them. The kind of man who behaves like this!” she says, waving the phone an inch from my face.

“The guy who inevitably does something he shouldn’t when he has a girlfriend waiting at home for him. ”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Yes, you also dance with the grandmothers, and you’re an equal opportunity flirt, but it’s still not something I’m willing to put myself through again. I’ve been there. If I thought it hurt with Grant, I know it will hurt twice as much with you.”

“I’ve told you this before but I guess you need to hear it again. I. Am. Not. Your. Ex.”

“I know you aren’t. But you are at the same time.”

“Fuck that! You’re scared and using this as an excuse because you know this is real!” I say, raising my voice.

“Don’t yell at me!” she yells back.

“I’m sorry, but you’ve caught me off guard, and you’re not making any sense,” I say, trying to calm down but feeling frantic inside .

“Maybe not to you.”

“Baby, my personality is one of the things you love about me. I know it is, and I also know you don’t want to change me. You and I work the way we do without having to change each other. We fit, Mason.”

Her eyes are glassy, one tear betraying her as it falls down her cheek.

“Baby, I love you. I don’t see anyone else but you.”

“You really think you love me?”

“I do. You’re it for me.”

“First loves never last.”

“Tell that to Reece and Rachel.”

Talking to the floor, she says, “You don’t love me, Miles. I’m just the city girl who rolled into town for a few months. I’m different is all.”

“Mason, please stop this.” I lift her chin so she can’t hide her eyes from me.

Tears are streaming down her face. “I’ve never told another woman I love them, this is true, but it doesn’t mean this won’t last. Mase, you finally find me and make me fall in love with you, and now, you want to sit here and tell me my feelings aren’t valid. ”

I wish today was like any other day when I could lighten the mood with a smart-ass comment, but I’ve got nothing. Instead, I seem to be having quite the opposite effect. More tears start falling from her beautiful eyes.

“Mason, baby. Don’t cry. I love you. I am in love with you. Think what you want, but it’s true.”

“The thing is, I love you too, Miles. That’s the problem. I can’t love you because in the end you’ll hurt me. In the end I live on the other side of the country.”

“I knew it.”

She fucking loves me.

Nothing has ever felt so good.

“What?” She sobs .

“You love me.”

“But don’t you see? It doesn’t matter. It’s too hard for me to be with someone like you. I can’t put myself through it again. Besides, I’m leaving.”

“But you can stay. You can write anywhere,” I say, ignoring the part about me being too hard to be with.

“I can’t,” she says softly, stepping toward the front door. “I told myself I would never again give up my life for a man. I have to put myself first and moving to Eastlyn is not in the cards. I’ve worked too hard to get my life back. I refuse to lose it all again.”

Her tears have dried. Her resolve has been found. She opens the door and closes her heart simultaneously.

“Mason, this is ridiculous. I would never ask you to give anything up.” I plead with her, but she won’t look at me. She’s done with the conversation.

Done with me.

If she thinks this is it, she doesn’t know me as well as I thought she did.

Grabbing my bag, I start to leave but stop in front of her where she stands with her hand on the doorknob, ready to shut me out the moment I cross the threshold.

“We aren’t over, Mason, not by a long shot. I’ll give you tonight, but I’m not giving up so easily. You’re scared. I get it. But, baby, we’re the real deal, and I fucking love you. Do you hear that?” Still looking at the ground, she gives me no reply. “And you fucking love me.”

With my words lingering in the air, I leave.

Leave the house where I just experienced the best couple of days of my life.

The house containing the woman I love.

I’m not leaving for good, though.

She better believe I’ll be back.