Page 16

SIXTEEN

Rain

Feeling like I’d just inhaled a couple of Red Bulls and a horse tranquilizer, I lay spread across Brian’s overheated body like a slug.

My bare ass was going to be cold in a few minutes but right now, I wanted to stay here forever, or at least until I needed water, which would be soon. I also felt like I had enough inspiration to write two hundred promo posts about why you should come see live hockey. And it didn’t have much to do with the game itself.

“Rain?”

“Hmm.”

“We really need to talk about this.”

I ignored the little squiggle of unease in my tummy. “About what? How amazing we are in bed together?”

He huffed out a laugh and his hand petted me from my shoulder to just above my ass. “Well, yeah, we are.”

“Then what do we need to talk about except when we’re going to do this again?”

“This, you and me, this is complicated.”

My immediate thought was, It doesn’t have to be , but I bit my tongue on that one, the logical half of my brain kicking in. Because he wasn’t wrong.

I hated the logical half of my brain right now.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled up my metaphorical big-girl panties, which I still consider to be silk and lace and sexy.

“I know that.” I lifted my head so I could look him in the eyes. “But I also know I don’t want to stop what we started. I’ve been lusting after you for years, Brian. Did you know that?”

His eyes widened in surprise before he could get his expression under control. “Years?”

He sounded stunned, which made me smile. Guys could be so clueless.

“I’ve had a crush on you since Rowdy first brought you home. I was a teenager and girl teenage hormones rage just as much as boys. You had to know.”

He shook his head. “You were completely off limits then, so no, I didn’t notice. If I had even glanced in your direction, your brothers would’ve pulverized me. And with good cause.”

“I get that. But later? Why did you never ask me out?”

“Because you were always dating other guys. When I started with the team, you were away at college. When you got home, you were dating that kid, Chisholm. Then you announced you weren’t dating hockey players. And then…”

I grimaced. “Then I went out with Zelinsky.”

Brian’s body tensed, like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

“For the record, he wasn’t a dick to me,” I said. “I mean, he was self-centered, but he never was intentionally mean to me. Probably because he knew my brothers would obliterate him if he was. I honestly thought he cared for me, and…” I sighed. “Okay, I’m not proud of this, but he was nice to look at and he had a good body. And my brothers hated him, and yes, I know that makes me a brat, but— You know what? I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

With a huff, I sat up, ignoring the amazing view of Brian’s naked body on display, and scrambled off the couch. Which probably didn’t look as elegant as I would’ve hoped. Grabbing his shirt, because it was right there, and I wanted him to see me in it, I tugged it over my head, sighing just a little when it drowned me. And covered me in his scent.

Rolling my eyes, I plopped into the chair across from him and crossed my arms over my chest.

“So what are we going to do about this?”

“You mean us?” Brian’s voice sounded rough and sexy, and I liked it so much, it just pissed me off.

“Okay, first off. Is there an ‘us’?”

“Do you want there to be?”

I gave him a look that would’ve made my brothers wince and slink off like kicked puppies. Or at least, that’s what I hoped they’d do most of the time.

“Brian. We just fucked our brains out on my couch. It was my couch’s first time, so maybe be gentle with it. I can count on one finger how many guys have been invited into my house to fool around. That one finger is you.”

A smile twitched around the corners of his lips. “I hope it’s not the middle finger.”

Now he wanted to be cute and funny.

“I guess you’ll just have to hang around a little and find out. I acknowledge the fact that this situation is fraught with?—”

“Did you just use ‘fraught’ in a sentence?”

Now I did give him the finger, which made him laugh, drawing my gaze down to the tight muscles of his abs. Which made the muscles between my thighs clench. And dampen. Dammit, I could go again.

Don’t look at his dick. Don’t look at his dick. Don’t look at his dick.

Biting my tongue, I swung my gaze around the room, getting caught on the open curtains on my window. Which meant anyone walking up to my door could’ve seen us having sex. Lucky for us, it was the middle of the day, and all my neighbors were at work. And amazingly, none of my brothers had decided to visit. Particularly Rebel.

Which brought me back to the discussion we were having, while in the back of my head I was thinking that I should buy shades for those windows.

“Are you trying to change the subject?”

He shook his head. “Just giving you props for your word usage.”

“Here’s another word for you. Avoidance.”

“I’m not trying to avoid talking about the situation. And yeah, this situation is fraught ,” he placed an extra emphasis on the word, “with pitfalls.

“Then maybe we just need to get everything out in the open and talk about it like adults.”

“If you want to know what happened between Reb and me, you need to talk to him first. It’s not my story to tell.”

So obviously, it was something that Rebel had done. What a shock.

“Then what are you suggesting? You just want to forget this happened and never speak of it again?”

It’d been a bitchy jab, and I wanted him to tell me to stop being a brat, but he didn’t answer right away, his gaze boring into mine. And my stomach curled in on itself.

“No, I’m not.”

Sitting up with an impressive display of shifting muscles under warm skin, he put his feet on the floor and his elbows on his knees. Luckily for me, he was still totally naked.

“But,” he sighed, “we both have other people we’ve got to think about in this situation.”

He was right. Although I really, really wanted to keep this about us, we couldn’t. We didn’t live in a vacuum. We had to consider my family and the team.

“So,” I drew the word out a little, “you don’t want anyone to know? About us.”

I couldn’t help it. My gaze slipped down his naked body then snapped back up to find his eyes crinkled at the corners.

“For now, yeah. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you.” His gaze wandered my body, which made me burn from my sex to my nipples. “It just means we need to be…circumspect.”

“Ooh, that’s even longer than ‘fraught.’”

“Longer, huh? You trying to tell me something?”

My cheeks flushed, my core clenched, and I wanted to jump back on the couch and ride him again. Hello, new obsession.

“I think I’ve already told you everything you need to know.”

He looked into my eyes, nodding. “This doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of you or of us. You know that, right?”

I nodded solemnly, because I could see he was serious. “Yes.”

“Then you also know I want to pull you back on the couch and fuck you wearing my shirt. Right?”

I had to swallow before I could respond. “I was hoping, yes.”

He reached out his hand, and I took it because I wasn’t about to say no.

“Then don’t let me disappoint you.”

“Why do you look all glowy and shit? It’s only six in the morning. No one should look this happy when the sun is barely up.” Erin yawned. “And you’re smiling weird.”

“No, I’m not. You’re just delirious from lack of sleep.”

It was Wednesday, the day before Christmas, and I’d promised to give Erin a hand in the bakery. It was all-hands-on-deck today because everyone in town and in what seemed like a fifty-mile radius had ordered their pies, rolls, bread, cookies, muffins, and cupcakes for the holiday to be picked up today.

Besides the regular staff, Erin had recruited a few of the Angels to help as well. Luckily, they hadn’t arrived yet to hear Erin’s way-too-loud pronouncement.

Eyes narrowed as she slugged down scalding-hot coffee, Erin stared at me like I was an exhibit at a science fair that she couldn’t figure out. I didn’t meet her gaze because I was dropping cupcake liners into pans before I filled them with batter. I already had ten pans ready to go and would start on the roll tins next.

“You got laid, didn’t you?”

I felt my cheeks burn and turned away to grab more cupcake liners that I really didn’t need.

“You need to make more cake batter. I’m pretty sure we don’t have enough.”

“We have more than enough. And now you’re avoiding me. Damn, girl. Good for you. Who— Oh my god, did you finally nail Brian?” Her squeal had to be able to be heard all the way to Philly and Pittsburgh. “Finally. I’m so proud of you.”

I rolled my eyes as I shoved balls of dough into the tins. “Jesus, Erin, why not just announce it to the world. Which you can’t do, by the way. And I can neither confirm or deny what exactly happened Monday afternoon.”

“Then I’m right.” I couldn’t see her smile because she’d turned to take out another two trays of rolls from the ovens then immediately shoved in another two trays of bread. “You and Brian got it on. Good for you. Glad to know one of us is getting laid.”

Erin had been in the bakery for two hours already and probably wouldn’t stop for another four, at least. So I was going to give her the benefit of being nearly completely without a filter because of exhaustion.

But I’d been dying to talk to someone about what had happened, and I knew if I told Erin, she could be trusted to keep her mouth shut. Because Brian was right. We couldn’t afford the knowledge that we were sleeping together to get out. Just too many complications.

“Look, I promised Brian we would keep this just between the two of us.” I expertly filled this tray and started another. This wasn’t my first holiday helping Erin. “You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

Erin threw me a look that let me know exactly what she thought of that. “That seems like a recipe for disaster.”

“Only if anyone finds out before we decide to spill the tea.”

Erin walked over to the stand mixer and threw some ingredients in for what looked like chocolate chip cookies. Or maybe muffins.

“Rainy, we live in a small town. Gossip is like currency. You know I would never sell you out, but someone’s gonna find out. And then what are you going to do? I mean, why aren’t you telling anyone anyway?”

“You mean, besides the fact that my brother Rebel hates him, and he’s Rowdy’s best friend? That my dad signs his paychecks? That he’s only here because he needed a place where his niece will be taken care of when he’s not around?”

“And why do you think your dad or Rowdy will care if you’re dating him? And Rebel can go fuck himself, seriously. He’s a dick if he thinks he can dictate your love life.”

“I know that.” I sighed, pushing the trays down the huge stainless prep table in the middle of the room. “But something major went down between the two of them, and I still don’t know what happened. Reb won’t talk about it, and Brian won’t tell me because he says it’s Rebel’s story to tell. Whatever the hell that means.”

“Just sounds like another one of Rebel’s dickhead moves. Why should your brother get to dictate who you sleep with? Maybe he’s just pissed because he’s not getting any. That man is the most uptight asshole I’ve ever known. And you just want to please everyone. You know you can’t do that all the time, right? You can’t make everyone happy.”

Erin turned back to add more ingredients to the oversize mixer, and I stuck my tongue out at her while she couldn’t see me. But she wasn’t wrong.

The problem was, that was me. That was my fucking job. Make everyone happy. And I was damn good at it. Brian had certainly left with a smile on his face Monday when he’d gone to pick up Maddy from school. We hadn’t seen each other yesterday because we’d both had to work and Brian couldn’t exactly tell his twelve-year-old niece that he was going out for a few hours in the evening and leave her alone, especially not two nights before Christmas.

He’d told me they’d been planning to spend all day Wednesday cocooned in their apartment watching movies and eating junk food because school was on break and so were the Devils. Brian had told me Maddy didn’t want a Christmas tree. She didn’t want to make a big deal about the holiday. And I got that. I did. Her mom wasn’t there. I couldn’t imagine what she was feeling.

And I hated that I couldn’t really do anything to help her through this. She’d probably hate me if I tried.

I hated when anyone—my brothers excluded—were unhappy or even mad at me. Everyone loved me. Well, almost everyone. I knew there was one ex who definitely did not love me.

“I’m not kidding, Erin. I need you to promise me you won’t say anything. When we’re ready, we’ll be the ones to break the news.”

Erin turned from the mixer to give me a raised eyebrow. “You know I would never rat you out. Especially to your brothers. But isn’t Miss Raffi gonna take one look at the two of you and know exactly what’s going on? I swear your mom can read minds. And you’re all going to be at the same table tomorrow. How’s that gonna work? Because that face of yours,” she waved her finger in front of my nose, “is not designed to hide secrets. Especially from your mom. Your brothers are clueless, most of the time, but Rowdy’s smarter than the average bear. Sometimes. Then again, he’s got his own females to worry about now, so maybe he won’t notice that you’re fucking his best friend.”

I stared at Erin for a second, wondering if the steady stream of words coming out of her mouth had finally stopped, before I said, “Exactly how much caffeine have you had this morning?”

“Not nearly enough.” Erin suddenly and tightly wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me, making me laugh and hug her back. “Rainy, you’re the best friend a girl could have, but you spread yourself too thin. One of these days you’re gonna snap.”

“Well, you better hope it’s not until after the holidays or who’s going to help you fill these muffin tins?”

The back door flew open as we were pulling apart and Caity shouted, “The calvary has arrived!” as five members of the Angels’ dance team filed through the door.

Erin winked to let me know my secret was safe. And I made sure my face didn’t scream, “I got laid last night,” when I turned to greet the other girls. Even though I wanted to shout it to the rooftops.

“Rain, baby, grab that pan. And the lid. Oh, and the potatoes. Rowdy, make sure that cranberry sauce doesn’t boil over. Reb, uh…”

Our mom trailed off, looking round the kitchen, and Rowdy and I exchanged a grin. Rebel wasn’t usually allowed in my mom’s kitchen. First, because he had no interest in learning how to cook. Second, because he was a disaster in the kitchen. Appliances had been known to burst into spontaneous flames when Rebel touched them.

“Why don’t you go ask our guests if they need anything?”

“Why don’t you have him start the fire, Mom?” Rowdy said. “He’s good at making things burn.”

I huffed out a laugh that I didn’t bother to hide. Rebel rolled his eyes from where he leaned against the counter in Mom’s huge kitchen, where we were in full Christmas feast mode, and it was all-hands-on-deck.

“Obviously, there’s a story behind that,” Tressy said from her station in front of the wall ovens, where she was taking out the rolls. Krista stood on a stool beside her mom, putting the rolls from an already cooled pan into a basket and covering them with a towel. Maddy was on shuttle duty, taking baskets and bowls to the buffet table so Rocky could arrange everything on warming plates.

The rest of the guests, including Brian and several members of the team, either didn’t want to go or couldn’t get home for the holiday. I couldn’t remember a Christmas when we didn’t have at least twenty people around the dinner table.

And I’d never wanted it any different.

Rowdy snorted. “Oh, there definitely is?—”

“And you’re not going to hear about it now.”

Rebel pushed away from the counter and headed toward the great room, which had at one time been the dining room that seated at least a hundred when this had been a working inn. Mom and Dad only ever used it for gatherings of more than the family, which included all holidays, Winter Carnival get-togethers, team parties, sewing club meetings, book club meetings, and … Well, it got used a lot more than you might think.

“He nearly burned down the house making toast.” I winked at Krista, wide-eyed and bouncing on her toes. “We usually don’t even let him in the kitchen at holidays. Safer that way.”

To be fair, it’d been an ancient toaster that Mom had set on the counter to be put in the trash. Rebel had mistakenly thought he was supposed to use that instead of the shiny new one still in the box. He’d plugged it in, put his bread in to toast, and left for another room.

By the time he got back, the toaster was in flames and the fire department had already been dispatched by the security system. Rebel saw flames and grabbed a tablecloth to smother the fire. Not a big deal, but he would never live down starting a fire by making toast.

Rowdy and I brought it up almost every year, mostly because Rebel could barely boil water. Our mom had tried and failed to teach Rebel and Rocky how to fend for themselves. Rebel lived off takeout and Mom’s leftovers.

At least Rocky was still at college and got decent meals in the cafeterias.

“Hey, Miss Raffi, can I give you a hand with anything?”

Just the sound of Brian’s voice was enough to make me flush all over. Luckily it was warm in the kitchen and no one was looking at me directly.

“Actually, can you help Rain with those mashed potatoes? You’re almost done with them, aren’t you, Rainy?”

Except my mom, who gave me the most innocent look, which was totally false. Either she knew, with her scary mind-reading-mom abilities, the thoughts I was having about getting Brian alone again, or she was taking a shot in the dark putting us together to see what we would do.

“Yep.” I scraped the potatoes into a serving tray, which I handed to Brian with a smile when he crossed the room. Which just happened to be the exact moment Rebel walked back into the room.

He couldn’t quite hide the immediate scowl on his face, but he got it somewhat under control before my mom turned to him.

“Pop says he needs an extension cord.”

“In the closet in the basket on the top of the shelf.”

Brian’s and Rebel’s gazes met and held for a second before Rebel headed for the closet Mom had indicated. Anyone in the room who was paying attention could tell there was something brewing between the two of them. And my mom was paying attention.

“And Rebel, make sure your dad doesn’t trip the breaker like he did last year, please.”

“Sure, Mom.”

Flashing a smile that looked more like a grimace, Reb turned and headed back out. Brian watched him go, Mom watched Brian, and I watched Mom.