Page 35 of Queen of the Wicked (Afterlife #1)

Alessia’s eyes fluttered shut when his fingers moved higher on her thigh, gently massaging muscles that ached.

“I…don’t know,” she whispered, but with the way Erebos stared at her, it was as if she was supposed to.

“It was strange. I mean, killing Godric was out of my control, and I still carry guilt about it, but killing that thing didn’t take any convincing.

I enjoyed it.” Her bottom lip trembled, eyes flooding with more unshed tears.

“I don’t want to be evil, Erebos. I should be afraid, right?

This smoke can kill anything in its path, but I’ve never felt more comforted by it than when I chose to save you. ”

A tear slipped onto her cheek, and the realm seemed to halt when Erebos swiped it away with his thumb.

His hand remained on her face as tendrils of smoke drifted around them in response, caressing his cheek in return.

“Dark magic can be used for good. I know this because I have done it. I imagine black magic is the same. You are not evil because of these powers.”

“Then why do I have them?”

“Why did I?” he countered. “Why does Izara? It is a question that has plagued us for years, and we’re attempting to get to the bottom of it.

This darkness doesn’t make you a bad person, not if you refuse to let it consume you.

I know that because I have suffered an immense amount of pain, and I still maintain the ability to receive and bestow goodness to the world. ”

Her mind drifted back to that dreadful nightmare, when she awoke in a cold sweat to find Erebos perched over her like a guardian angel crafted of divine wickedness.

“Can I ask you something?” she whispered. Erebos nodded slowly, his onyx eyes never leaving hers. “Were you ever…captured?”

The immediate tensing of his muscles already gave Alessia her answer.

“Why do you ask?”

“That night you found me in the bedroom having a nightmare, it was about you. At first, I didn’t think anything of it, but the scars in that nightmare matched the ones you have now, and I guess I just wondered if it was true.”

His throat worked on a swallow before he replied, “What happened in your nightmare? ”

“You’re avoiding my question.” He dodged the red aura well, but she needed to know this. She needed to see if he had experienced insurmountable pain. Why? She didn’t understand it, but her heart weighed heavily with anticipation.

The lord stared up at the high ceilings of the cave, his chest heaving as if reliving the memories.

“The earliest memories of myself that I have are with King Bastian. I can’t remember anything before him.

My mother, my father, friends… it’s all a blur.

I can only recollect waking up in a cell and…

” He shook his head. “Bastian tortured me for decades.”

“Why?” Alessia asked. She couldn’t help but grab his hand when she noticed it shaking and gently squeezed it. It was either that or find the king and make him pay. Slowly.

“I never knew. I was poked and prodded and forced to use my powers upon strangers I had never met. Forced to murder innocent people for a reason I’m still unaware of.

Forced to—” His voice broke, and for the first time, emotion shone in the depths of his dark eyes.

“This title I have wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for King Amos.

He found me and brought me here to safety.

Created that decree and made me the Lord of Hell so Bastian couldn’t harm me without death knocking at his doorstep.

But that decree ends in a year, and he’ll come for me again because I’m valuable to him, though I’ve never understood why. ”

“Is that why you’re rushed to regain your powers?”

He contemplated his answer. “Partly. The decree King Amos initiated never dictated how I ran Hell. We had similar mindsets as to how things should run in this realm, so it was never of concern, but after he was murdered, Bastian created new rules as to how he thought the realm should be.”

“That’s why Izara casts the glamour,” Alessia murmured more to herself than to him.

“Precisely.”

“And how do you expect it to be?” She realized she never thought to ask until now, when it could very well change her entire perception of the man everyone feared.

“Well, I believe that some demons deserve a second chance. Not everyone is redeemable, depending on their sins on Earth, but some express genuine remorse and wish to try again.”

“And by try again, you mean…”

“Reincarnated,” he replied. “When a soul is indicted to Hell, I can normally determine within the first five minutes if they belong in the Unknown or not. Those who repent for their sins are then given a job to help the realm run. Farming, cooking, cleaning… King Bastian does not supply us with money, so we make do with what we have. The people who work for me are striving for freedom; to start over and try again.”

“But Eryx and Izara are already freed.” And Catalina, even though the thought irked her.

“Yes, some choose to live here after I feel they’ve repented long enough. They grow comfortable and wish to remain here, so I allow them to do so.”

Alessia remained perched on his lap, utterly shell-shocked at the information she had at her fingertips but never bothered to ask.

Or, maybe she had wanted to but was afraid of the answer.

A part of her was always intrigued by Erebos, but she hadn’t wanted to admit it, fearing that it would make her a bad person when her family supposedly derived from Heaven.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I’m thinking…” She bit down on a smile.

“You’re nothing like I assumed. Giving demons a second chance at life and blatantly going against Bastian’s requests to torture those who reside in this realm is admirable.

I can understand why others respect you, are loyal to you, and want to remain in Hell even after being freed. ”

Erebos sighed. “Don’t give me too much credit.

The sins I have committed to get here have been far from admirable.

” He scoffed and resumed his strokes on her thigh.

“When King Amos gifted me this realm, it felt like a twisted joke. Who am I to determine who is worthy enough for a second chance when I have so much blood on my hands? I deserve to be in the Unknown myself.” A beat, and then, “I am no leader to look up to.”

“You really think that’s true? You didn’t choose to do those things, Erebos. You were forced to.”

“Maybe, but I could have said no, too. I could have refused to kill innocents in place of my own life, but I’m no martyr.”

“Thought we weren’t focusing on the what-ifs ?” she teased.

He lifted his hand and flicked her nose, the action so juvenile she couldn’t produce anything but laughter.

Erebos’s eyes filled with warmth at the sound.

“My past is much different than yours, Alessia. You have killed because you needed to, whereas I have killed because I felt threatened and was too terrified of dying to say no.” He hesitated before admitting, “It’s important you know that when I look at you, I don’t see a sinner. I do not see someone who belongs here.”

Curiosity got the best of her when she replied, “Then what do you see?”

As if he’d thought about his answer to this question for a while, he held her gaze with absolute certainty as he said, “I see strength. Courage. I see a woman who has the power of this realm and perhaps more running through her veins whilst handling it with ease, and I see a woman who knocked my general on his ass three times—someone so hauntingly beautiful that it is an effort not to kneel before you. A privilege to be in your presence. An honor to breathe the same air as you.”

More tears cascaded down her face at his confession, and she allowed Erebos to catch every single one. His compliments healed pieces of her fractured heart. It felt a lot like tying loose ends up or mending a final stitch.

Apparently, her power felt the same.

Tendrils weaved through his hair, causing him to groan. They brushed along his face, drifting down his broad shoulders and corded arms until she hesitated to allow them to explore further.

Yes, the feminine voice urged.

Take.

Take.

Take.

“The smoke doesn’t scare me, Alessia.” Sensing her reluctance, he leaned in closer, invading her senses and sending a waft of cherries directly up her nose.

“It intrigues me. You intrigue me. And if you want to play with your smoke and test its capability of providing pleasure, I will gladly volunteer to be your test subject.”

Blazing desire coursed through her, threatening to consume all she was from the inside out.

Every part of Alessia felt like it was on fire, a conflagration of embers that only Erebos seemed to be able to put out.

It had started when she first saw him, and with every interaction, it had only added to the bonfire of emotions she housed for him.

His admission just acted as the match, and now there was no hope of dousing it.

With heavy-lidded eyes, Alessia was bolder than she’d ever been when she tentatively straddled the Lord of Hell. At this angle, she stared down at him, that sense of dominance eliciting inevitable arousal. “You have to promise me something first,” she said.

His response was immediate. “Anything.”

“I don’t want to hear you say you belong in the Unknown ever again.

The scars of your past were forced upon you, regardless of whether or not you submitted to the torture.

If your life weren’t on the line, you never would have killed those souls, and I know my opinion doesn’t mean much, but you’re far from evil, Erebos. To me, at least.”