Page 35 of Queen of the Hollow Hills (Eagles and Crows #3)

CHAPTER 34

A t some point, Conall and Corva came for me, leading me back inside. Corva took me upstairs to rest, and then she and Conall spoke in whispered tones.

“Mael Muire must be told. She cannot learn it from another,” Conall told Corva.

“I will call for a priestess and send them north with the news,” Corva replied.

“The Votadini will send warriors south. An attack on Cormag is an attack on their tribe. How blind King Aengus must be not to realize.”

“He does not know the Votadini as we do,” Corva replied. “We must also send to King Eddin. We will need his assistance in the hours to come.”

“Cartimandua must make that decision,” Conall protested.

“She cannot right now. We must act in her stead. Time is of the essence.”

There was a long pause before Conall said, “Very well.” The pair then left, the door clicking closed behind them.

I closed my eyes and pulled the blankets to me, inhaling Cormag’s scent. Like my girls, his smell would fade as all trace of him disappeared from this earth in the coming days.

Weeping, I held onto the fabric and moaned.

Ystradwel, why did you do this to me?

But the answer was obvious. I hadn’t truly known the depth of what Ystradwel had suffered. She had been taken from her home and father. She had been forced to labor as my servant. And she had been raped by my cousin inside these very walls. The resentment was lodged deep in her heart. The overtures of friendship she had made to me had been lies, manipulations. All that time, she wanted to retake her throne. She’d said whatever it took to get me to trust her. Her whole life, she had been forced to wear a false face. No wonder she had deceived me so easily. I’d never met the real woman behind the mask.

And now… Ystradwel had taken something from me that could never be replaced.

As we had done to her.

Ystradwel had punished me for the actions of others. The moment I had taken power, I had killed those who hurt her, set her free, and punished those who had led an uprising against her and her father.

Or had I?

What if old Cam had been in league with Rhys and the so-called rebels all along? What if Ystradwel had always known about the traitors because she was one of them? What if she had faked that she had been deceived by Rhys. Had I beheaded her lover? The truth was, Cam had never accepted his defeat. My father knew it. Bellnorix knew it. I was the one who had failed to see the truth.

Ystradwel had been the dagger at my back all along.

I closed my eyes, feeling my blood pounding in my head. The sides of my skull felt like they wanted to crack open. I pressed my hands against my ears.

Cormag….

Cormag… I’m sorry. I failed you. I am a failed queen. You are dead because I was blind.

I’m so, so sorry.

I was not sure how many days had passed when, late at night, I sensed someone moving in my chamber. Unable to get out of bed, I listened as Corva spoke.

“Mael Muire joined the fray, and along with her, King Eddin. They are pushing the Setantii and Northern Cornovii forces back. The Votadini… I am not sure what will be left of the Setantii when this is done.”

I said nothing.

“Cartimandua?”

I could not reply.

“Can I bring you a draft? Something to ease your mind?”

Unable to reply, I rolled over in bed.

Corva said nothing, merely rose, and left.

Whatever Ystradwel and King Aengus had hoped to achieve by killing my husband, it had not worked. They had unleashed Mael Muire’s fury, and I was glad.

I woke again sometime later, hearing unfamiliar footfalls in my chamber. Someone worked by the fire. I could hear the sounds of clicking cups and pouring liquids.

I opened my eyes a crack and was surprised to find M?d there.

“You are not wanted here,” I told her.

M?d did not respond. Instead, she continued her work, stirring and brewing by the fire. Finally, she came to my bedside with a steaming cup.

“Your head and heart ache. This will help ease the pain.”

“I want nothing from you.”

M?d sat on my bedside and stared off into the darkness. “I am sorry, Cartimandua, for the loss of your daughters. I will not placate you as others have done and tell you it was a sad coincidence. My mistress is a hard ruler. She gives and takes as she sees fit. And while I would not have you blame yourself for the loss of your children, I did warn you. But in truth, there is no one to impute but the Cailleach. She took your girls. I understand your hard heart, and I beg your forgiveness for my hand in the matter. Now, drink. It will ease your mind.”

“I do not wish my mind to be eased. I am the reason my daughters are dead. I am the reason my husband walked into an ambush and died, and along with him, good and loyal men. It is my fault. I am born to suffer and bring death to those I love.”

“Perhaps we are all born to suffer. But if you drink this,” M?d said, “it will lessen the pain a little, because born to suffer or not, your people need you. You are a Brigantes queen. Rome is on the move, and your western coast is burning. You do not serve your people by lying in this bed. Get up, Cartimandua. You owe your husband your vengeance.”

With that, she left me in silence.

I lay there for a time, watching the steam lift off the mug.

Finally, I sat up. My head was pounding. I could not remember the last time I had drunk or eaten anything. My body was feeling weak from sorrow. I lifted the cup and drank.

Forcing myself to take sip after sip, I finished the brew and then stared into the fire.

I would need to arrange for Cormag’s burial. Unless… No. The Votadini sent their dead to the pyre. I would send my husband to the Otherworld in the manner that suited him best.

I closed my eyes, pressing my fingers on my closed eyelids, trying to numb the throbbing pain behind my eyes.

After a time, however, the pain in my head subsided.

Rising, I pulled on a dark robe and splashed water on my face. Opening the shutters, I looked outside. It was still dark, but I could sense the morning air. I went to the door, surprising the guard outside.

“My queen,” Mael Coluim said. “Forgive me. I did not realize you were awake.”

“Do not wake Hilda, but send to the kitchens and see if any of the maids are about. I would have hot water.”

“My queen,” the man said with a nod, then motioned for one of the boys to hurry off.

I turned and went back inside. My body hurt. I felt like a ghost myself. I went to my wardrobe and pulled out a black gown, laying it on the bed. Not long afterward, there was a knock on the door.

On the other side, I found the guard and one of the kitchen boys carrying buckets of hot water. Along with them was Alba, the cook for the fort.

“Queen Cartimandua,” Alba said. She carried a large platter in her hands. On it, she had laden all my favorite foods.

“Alba.”

“A little something, my queen,” she said, looking at the food.

I stepped aside so they may enter.

Alba set the platter down then went to the other side of the room and pulled out my washing tub. “Here,” she told the men. “Pour it in, then run and fetch the other buckets.”

“Really, Alba, this is not your duty and?—”

“Queen Cartimandua, there is no one in this fort who does not love you. Let us see to you now.”

With that, the servants readied the bath.

“Now, I can stay and scrub behind your ears, but I’m afraid I’m better with turnips than queens,” she told me.

“Thank you, Alba. I can manage.”

“My queen,” she said, touching my arm and meeting my gaze. “If you want anything, just say the word. We are here for you, Queen Cartimandua,” she told me, then departed.

I went to the bath. Stripping off my clothes, I sank into the hot water and sat, trying to let the pain melt away. I scrubbed my body and washed my hair, staying in the water until it grew cold. When I rose, I dried myself off, seeing the streaks of silver on my belly from my daughters.

A little moan wanted to escape my lips, but I held it in.

Pushing the thoughts aside, I made ready for the day. By the time I was done, the sun had risen once more. Steeling myself to the sympathetic looks that would come, I made my way from my chamber and went to my workroom. To my surprise, I found Corva asleep in a chair. She jumped when I entered.

“Cartimandua?” she said, sitting up. “I… Sorry, I was reading, and I fell asleep.”

I went to my desk and looked through the messages. “What news?”

Corva eyed me momentarily, assessing me, then began, “Chieftain Venutiux led the warriors. After the news of…our losses, our warriors—along with the Votadini and Dardani—fought like wolves, breaking the Setantii. The Setantii army split. Some retreated south with Lord Gregor, others took refuge in Bell’s Harbor. Our warband besieged the town but could not break their hold. A decision was made. Venutiux, Aedan, and the chieftains burned the city and slaughtered the Setantii. Aside from the docks, ancient Bell’s Harbor is in ashes.”

“Ystradwel?”

“They believe Ystradwel escaped by sea and went south to Northern Cornovii lands. Mael Muire’s and King Eddin’s forces are pushing south along with our warriors. King Ord has joined the fray, attacking King Aengus’s rear. That is the last I have heard. We wait, now, for the outcome.”

I looked through the messages, seeing what Corva spoke reflected there. Then, I paused, lifting a message from Gaul. I read it thrice before turning to Corva.

“Twenty thousand men?” I stared at the note once more. A man named Aulus Plautius had arrived in Gaul with his army. The number of ships more than doubled those brought by Caesar. “This is not a campaign. This is an invasion.”

“They were delayed making it to port by bad weather. We’ve had messengers, spies who’ve come to Rigodonum, all are reporting the same. Delayed or not, they are coming.”

“King Verica?”

“He is riding with General Plautius.”

“And, I imagine, smirking as he plans to retake his lands, not realizing—or not caring—what he has brought to this isle. What actions are being taken by my southern neighbors to prepare?”

“None, my queen. The Catuvellauni push east seemingly unaware. Their actions have everyone blind to the true danger.”

“Good. If Caratacus and Togodumnus learn we are about to be invaded, they will try to recall King Ord, and I need him. We must defeat Aengus before that happens. Send more eyes south. I want to know where the Romans land, who is with them, and the names of their leaders. Everything. Be quick and thorough. We failed to learn about the Setantii until it was too late. We cannot make the same mistake again.”

“I am sorry, Cartimandua. Had I learned the identity of your would-be assassin earlier, perhaps we would have realized the Setantii?—”

“There is no one to blame here but me.”

“Cartimandua, you cannot blame yourself. You?—”

“Where is Cormag’s body?” I asked, not wanting her to placate me. I knew where I had failed. I had lost the man I loved because I had trusted the wrong person. I would never forgive myself, and I did not want anyone to tell me differently. My whole family was gone because of my choices.

“He… They brought him in while you were sleeping. M?d and the priestesses of the Cailleach have attended to him.”

“Where is he?”

“Below the fort. I can speak to M?d. The priestesses can prepare a site at the henges.”

“No. The Votadini burn their dead. I will wait for Mael Muire.”

“I understand. The body of Chieftain Andoc was taken home to his family.”

I nodded, feeling the wall within me heaving with pain, but I didn’t let it crack. I couldn’t. “I will see my husband,” I told her, then turned and left the room. Behind me, I heard Corva call for Kamden and Conall.

My hands shook. I held one with the other to keep them steady.

I had to protect the Brigantes.

I had failed my family.

I had failed my daughters.

I had failed my husband.

They were all dead.

I could not fail my people.

My legs feeling weak, I made my way into the darkness, winding down the dark corridors of the fort. Torches lit my way. The air grew cold as I descended into the dungeons and the underground antechambers. I passed the cells and made my way down a winding, narrow cave that emptied into a chamber that was part of the mountain. I knew the place well. My father had laid upon the stone table the last time I'd been here.

Steeling myself, I entered the room to find one of the dark-robed priestesses of the Cailleach inside. She sat at my beloved’s feet, whispering to the dark goddess. Damhan and Brodi were on the stone slabs on either side of Cormag. Along with them, their dogs, who had perished defending their masters.

The priestess looked up when I entered. “My queen,” she said, bowing deeply to me, then turned and exited the space without another word.

I stopped first at Damhan, setting my hand on his chest.

“Damhan, may your ancestors embrace you on the other side.”

Then, I went to Brodi. My heart felt heavy. The Votadini had sent these men to the Brigantes in good faith. And now, they were dead.

“Go softly to the Otherworld. May your ancestors await.”

Hands shaking, I turned. Swallowing hard, I approached my husband.

He had been redressed in his finest clothing, his body washed, his hair groomed. On first glance, I saw no sign of the injury that had taken him. But his pale, listless, and stiff countenance told me it didn’t matter how he had died. He was gone, his mirth with him. Those sly smiles, forehead kisses, warm embraces…all gone. My body began to shake. My hands flung upward, covering my mouth. I had thought to muffle the moan, to strangle the sound, but it came anyway.

“Oh, Cormag,” I whimpered and then lay my head on his chest. I let all my pain and sorrow roll from me. Weeping hard, I lay there with my husband one last time. “Cormag…” I whispered. “I am so, so sorry. I failed you, my crow king. I failed you…” I wept and wept until my head ached, my temples feeling like they might burst. Finally, sniffling and wiping my tears, I pulled back. Brushing the hot tears from my cheeks, I worked carefully, righting his clothing once more, pushing his long hair back.

I set my hand on his cold cheek. “I will avenge you, my love. I promise you. Ystradwel’s bones will decorate my gate before this is done. You did not deserve this. Aye, Cailleach, you are a hard mistress… Would you take your son and grandchildren from this earthly plane without thought?”

The torches in the room flickered.

And then, a sharp wind blew. And though we were just days from Beltane, I smelled snow. A moment later, a blast of ice and snowflakes whipped through the room, and the torches went out.

Standing in the darkness, I gripped Cormag’s stiff arm and watched as a blue light flickered from within the mountain. Twisting in the darkness, I saw the blue flames come to life with arcane runes, and then a robed woman appeared from the darkness.

While the Cailleach wore a red robe and her face was young, I knew her all the same. She had walked into my fort as the Battle Cailleach.

“Will you be so bold to blame me, human?” she hissed at me. “You, to whom I handed my son?”

“You are right. I am just a human,” I growled. “You are a goddess. He is your son! How could you not protect him?”

The Cailleach paused a long moment, staring at me. And then, she smiled. “So much stone in your heart still, Cartimandua? Good. Good. You will need it.”

“But I do not need you and your meddling ways. You, who stole my children because I did as you asked me . You, who allowed my husband to die. What good are you to me?”

“You are because of me!” the Cailleach responded angrily.

But from the darkness of the cave, another voice rose, clicking its tongue in a chiding manner at the goddess. “The hollow hills choose their queen, or have you forgotten, Cailleach?” a deep voice asked.

My heart slammed in my chest. I peered into the darkness, trying to see, only to catch a flash of silver eyes.

“Take your games elsewhere, Lady of Winter,” the creature hissed at the goddess.

At that, the Cailleach frowned. Then, with a whirlwind of snow and fire, she disappeared, leaving me in total darkness.

“Trust yourself,” the dark voice whispered. “Trust the land. We were here when the world was new, and we will be here even when we are but figments of dreams. Rule well, Queen of the Hollow Hills, but be careful who you trust.”

The air grew cold, and a moment later, the torches flickered back to life.

I shuddered and then looked down at Cormag. I set my hand on his cheek. “We are pawns in a game of fidchell. You have gone to the Otherworld first, my love. I am sorry for it. No words can express my grief, but I am glad you are with our girls. Kiss them for me. Hold them and squeeze them until they laugh,” I said, then smiled, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “I will be with you soon enough. But for now… I am being played across some board I do not see,” I whispered, kissing him on the forehead.

I turned and left the chamber, my heart pounding as I planned my vengeance.