Page 23

Marinah

We had been lying in bed for over an hour, King’s warm arms wrapped securely around me. He hadn’t asked questions beyond checking if I needed anything. I was grateful for the silence and used the time to meditate.

In my mind, I took Bertha apart and put her back together with practiced precision. I could feel each piece in my hands as I moved through the process. I inhaled deeply, allowing my thoughts to drift, but they didn’t wander far before snapping back to what happened earlier.

My body had gone Nova, and I’d had no control over the shift, which was nothing unusual. She came out when she was ready and not on my schedule. But her frenzy went on even after the enemy was dead, and I didn’t understand. Yes, it had happened the first time with Smythe, but this was very different.

I had the sensation of being kicked in the gut, causing all air to leave my chest. Before I could process it, searing pain shot through my insides, and Ms. Beast’s scream echoed in my mind.

I pushed the memory of the pain aside and dug deeper into my thoughts. Images flashed in my head, and then I saw her, Ms. Beast. She stared back at me, growling low, almost challenging me.

There was something in her mouth.

She dropped it at my feet, and as it hit the ground, the pages fluttered open. It was my grandmother’s journal.

“How are you doing?” King’s voice, whispered close to my ear, startled me.

“I was meditating,” I mumbled into his shoulder, annoyed at the interruption.

He brushed the hair from my face. “You must be feeling better. What do you remember about what happened?”

“Death,” I replied bluntly. “I think I might have eaten someone.”

He gave me a small squeeze, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “You didn’t like their limbs attached, but you didn’t eat anyone, I promise.”

“Eating people would be bad,” I muttered.

“There are worse things,” he teased lightly.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I said, the sudden nausea hitting me hard.

I barely made it to the bathroom before I vomited violently. When the first wave stopped, I slumped against the cold tile, only to brace myself for the next round a moment later.

King knelt beside me, holding my braids from my face. “I’m taking you back to Axel,” he said, leaving no room for argument.

I couldn’t respond, too busy trying to keep my stomach from tearing itself apart. Between rounds, I managed to croak, “I need to read my grandmother’s journal.”

“There’s something wrong with you, and your grandmother’s journal won’t fix it,” he argued.

Stubborn man. Always so damned stubborn.

With King’s help, I finally managed to walk back to the bed. He stayed long enough to settle me, then left the room, saying he was bringing Axel to me.

As soon as the door closed, I grabbed my grandmother’s journal and did something I hadn’t done before. I flipped through the pages, skimming until I found the home planet’s word for Nova. My pulse quickened as I reached for the alien dictionary. I began deciphering the strange letters slowly taking shape into words I could understand.

By the time Axel arrived, I’d moved to the table to make writing easier. My body felt steadier, and my focus was entirely on transcribing. I scribbled notes directly above my grandmother’s words, reading each sentence aloud as soon as it was translated.

Axel checked my vitals while I kept working. He said something to King, but I barely registered it before he left. I was too immersed in the flow of words and too driven by the need to understand.

I didn’t know how much time had passed when a plate of food appeared in front of me. I devoured it without pausing and immediately sent King back to the kitchen for more.

The cycle continued. I ate, read, translated, and blocked out everything else. King tried to talk to me once, but I waved him away, too consumed by the journal to answer.

At some point, exhaustion won. I lifted my head groggily from my arms, realizing I must have fallen asleep at the table. The room was quiet, the dishes from our meal gone, and King was nowhere in sight. The weight of the day pressed down on me.

I dragged myself to the bed and collapsed into it, where sleep pulled me under almost instantly.

I woke to the comforting warmth of King’s arms wrapped around my midsection. He was awake, his eyes focused solely on me.

“How’s the soldier?” I asked groggily, my voice rough from sleep.

He knew who I meant. “She survived. Axel operated on one wrist and put both in casts. What do you plan on doing with her?”

My heart felt heavy as I rolled to face him. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I couldn’t kill her. Even Ms. Beast couldn’t do it.”

“Hmm,” he said, his tone noncommittal.

For a moment, an almost-smile pulled at the corners of my lips, but the weight of our losses dragged me back. “How many of our people died?” I asked quietly.

“Your people,” he corrected gently. “Seven Warriors. No humans.”

The ache in my chest deepened. “Who?”

He recited the names, and each one hit me like a blow. Two of them had families. One had just become a father for the first time.

I pushed myself up partially, my muscles protesting. “The men need us. What are we doing in here?”

King wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back into bed again. “You have only one choice. You can read your grandmother’s journal, and eat,” he said, “but you’re not leaving this room until you’re healed. It’s not up for discussion.”

I wanted to push back, but the hard look in his eyes made it clear I wouldn’t win. “The men need to see me,” I tried one last time.

His expression didn’t change. “The men know you’re injured. They also know you saved us. They won’t think less of you because you need to recover.”

I let out a loud, frustrated huff, but the fight drained out of me.

King’s lips quirked into a small smile for the first time since I woke up. “You won’t feel as grumpy after you eat.”

Like handling Ruth, I had to pick my battles. Fighting this one would only exhaust me, and I’d still lose. I couldn’t believe I was letting him alpha me like this.

∞∞∞

I behaved like the good little queen, at least until the next day. King had left early, ordering me not to leave the room until after lunch. Sticking out my tongue at him had no effect, though it did earn me a steamy kiss before he walked out.

After he was gone, I took a long shower, letting the hot water soothe my sore muscles. I ate everything from the breakfast tray that had been delivered earlier and did the same when lunch arrived. In between meals, I worked on deciphering my grandmother’s journal, my frustration mounting as the hours ticked by.

By the time the afternoon sun angled through the windows, I’d had enough. I fastened my gear, determined to reclaim my autonomy, and left the room. My first stop was the armory, where I had punishments to delve out.

Che and Ruth were in the middle of overseeing a wall remodel when I arrived. Ruth barked orders like a seasoned drill sergeant. “If it was this easy to blast through, you need better materials. These walls need steel reinforcement, or it’ll happen again,” she declared rigidly.

The Warriors ignored her entirely. If they had snapped at her, I would have applauded.

One of the men noticed me, his eyes lighting up with unspoken relief. He stopped working, and the others followed suit, their collective expressions practically begged: Save us!

“Ruth. Che. Come with me,” I said firmly, not waiting to see if they followed.

They deserved a thorough butt-chewing, but it wouldn’t happen in front of the Warriors. Still, judging by the men’s barely concealed relief, I had a feeling they would enjoy watching it.

I led them down the hall into one of our meeting rooms, closing the door behind us.

Che immediately wrapped his arms around my leg, holding on tightly. I placed a hand on his back and used the other to ruffle his hair, taking a deep breath. Relief coursed through me, knowing these two little hellions had survived.

“You don’t look so good,” Ruth said, squinting as she gave me a once-over, her eyes traveling from my boots to the top of my head.

“I don’t feel so good either, so be nice to me, please,” I replied, wincing at how pathetic I sounded.

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

“What?” I snapped.

“Do I get a hug?” she asked, her expression holding unending defiance.

I sighed and pulled her into my arms, keeping Che in the mix, and breathing in their youthful scent. No matter how infuriating they could be, I loved these two brats. After thirty seconds, I released them and pointed to the chairs. “Sit.”

Ruth wasted no time stirring the pot. “Uh-oh, we’re in trouble, aren’t we?” She wrapped her arms around herself and gave an exaggerated shudder. Her smug grin made me itch to knock the cocky right out of her.

I fixed my scowl firmly in place. “I ordered you to stay in the armory,” I said sharply.

Her expression grew even more insolent. “The room shook, plaster fell on us, and you wanted us to stay in there and die because you ordered it? If the roof caved in, we’d have been squished, and our guts would’ve slid out and become one with the floor.”

Someone really needed to curtail this child’s dramatic reading material. My patience snapped. I had to make it clear that disobedience wouldn’t be tolerated.

I locked my gaze with hers. K-5 swirled dangerously within me.

Ms. Beast erupted.

Ruth tumbled backward out of her chair as I stormed around the table. I hooked a claw into the front of her t-shirt and twisted. The fabric tore, but it was enough to haul her toward me, fangs bared.

“My, what big teeth you have,” she sing-songed, her voice mocking even now.

I saw red.

My roar ripped through the room, a primal sound that silenced everything.

The terrified look on Che’s face brought me crashing back to reality. The urge to throw Ruth across the room evaporated as I realized how far I’d let my anger take me.

I was out of control. It took me a moment to regain it, but I knew the thread could break again in an instant. I leveled my gaze on Ruth.

“If you were a Shadow Warrior, I would kill you for putting lives in danger. Even after training you, you have betrayed my trust.” Finally, Ruth’s eyes showed something besides challenge, but I wasn’t sure what it was, and it sure as hell wasn’t guilt. I could take no more. “Return to your rooms,” I ordered. “You will not leave until I give the word. If you disregard my order, you will be banned from the citadel.”

Without waiting for a response, I stormed out of the armory, the weight of my failure to control my anger pressing down on me. I felt like an idiot for losing it with children. As I moved through the halls, Shadow Warriors lowered their gazes in submission. A few murmured Alpha in greeting, but I didn’t stop or acknowledge them.

My destination was the infirmary. When I arrived, I found Axel taking the blood pressure off the young Federation soldier I’d saved. She was the only prisoner among the crowded room of injured Warriors and humans.

“Where are the other prisoners?” I demanded, my loud voice cutting through the steady buzz of the infirmary. Heads turned, startled by my tone.

The young woman flinched, shrinking back against her pillow. Her thin face was pale, green eyes wide with terror. Axel shot me a testy look. “Let me finish here, and we can talk,” he said.

I turned on my heel and marched into his office, slamming the door behind me. What the heck was wrong with me? My anger was spiraling out of control, and now I wanted to bite his head off too.

It took Axel five minutes to join me. By the time he walked in, we’d both had a moment to cool down, at least a little.

“Take the table,” he said, nodding toward the examination table. “I’ll answer your questions while I remove your stitches.”

I glared at the table like it had personally offended me. So much for calming down. With a frustrated growl, I dropped onto the metal and crossed my arms.

“Something’s wrong with me,” I admitted miserably.

Axel studied my face for several seconds. “Start from the beginning?”

I sighed and recounted everything: passing out the first time after going on the minisub, the strange sensations since then, chucking up my guts, and the outburst I’d just had with Ruth and Che.

Axel listened silently, without interrupting once. When I finished, he took a breath. “You need a complete physical,” he said with no wiggle room in the words.

“Do it.” My shoulders slumped. I didn’t believe he’d find anything, but if this was the only way to move forward, I’d endure it.

He smiled gently and rolled over a tray loaded with medical supplies. My eyes narrowed at the array of instruments. “I hear you’ve been reading the women’s texts,” Axel said casually, trying to distract me as he prepared to poke and prod.

I let out a low grunt, already dreading whatever he was about to find, or not find.

“It’s her personal journal,” I muttered sourly. “Maybe it will finally give me the answers I need.”

Axel rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “This is just a theory, but I think your Beasts are in a power struggle.”

I made a dismissive sound. “Pfft, Ms. Beast doesn’t stand a chance.”

“You might think that, but I’m not so sure,” he countered. “How much control do you really have over your Nova?”

I shrugged, feeling the weight of his question pressing down on me. “I thought I was getting better at it, but during the battle, the rage was overwhelming. I lost control. Maybe that’s just how she operates.”

“Do you try to control her when you’re in Nova form, or only during the transformation?” he asked.

I shook my head glumly. “Yes and no. I haven’t figured out the exact science of bringing her out. The other day, I thought it was just going to be Ms. Beast, but Nova came instead. It felt, I don’t know,” I shrugged, “different.” The frustration built inside me.

Axel checked my blood pressure, reflexes, and wounds. As he removed the stitches, I sighed with relief, finally free of their constant pull. Warrior healing was fast, but it didn’t make the process painless.

When he finished, he rolled his chair back and gave me a small smile. “You’ve been under a lot of stress. Doctor’s orders: do whatever warlords do after a battle and then head to your love nest with King. You both need a break. Want me to write a prescription to make sure you actually follow through?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “You think I’m a warlord?”

“I don’t know what else to call you,” he said evenly. “You’re a one-woman wrecking crew, and the amount of information you’ve absorbed this past year should have melted your brain. You don’t give yourself enough credit. There’s no such thing as a perfect leader. Mistakes happen, and you’ll learn from them and move on. You’re alpha, and the only person doubting that is you.”

I’d heard this before and thought I’d overcome it. “So, a potentially exploding brain is your professional diagnosis?”

He groaned in annoyance. “That diagnosis is as good as any,” he finally replied, his voice laced with sarcasm. Then his tone shifted. “When was your last period?”

The world froze.

“I don’t know,” I murmured, my voice barely audible. My head spun, a thousand thoughts crashing into each other.

He handed me a gown and quietly left the room to give me privacy. I stared at the soft fabric in my hands, unblinking. Slowly, my gaze dropped to my stomach.

Protect, Ms. Beast whispered softly, her voice resonating from within.