Page 30 of Quadruplets for the Vipers (Never Just One #3)

Leah

I insist on traveling in the ambulance with Axel to the hospital.

I hold his hand and whisper platitudes to him the whole way.

He’s got some second-degree burns, and they can’t tell yet what kind of damage his lungs may have suffered from smoke inhalation.

However, the paramedics assure me that he’ll be fine.

That doesn’t do anything to assuage the guilt I feel. It’s my fault he’s hurt, that the bar was attacked. It’s my fault that people got hurt, that good people are dead. Because of me. I need to tell them about Tony.

Despair, hopelessness, and shame flood me.

I should never have involved myself in the Steel Viper’s lives.

Not only have I brought danger right to their front door, but I’m also bringing a new innocent life into this mess.

This poor, orphan baby has lost its family before it’s even born and now is being born into a community in turmoil and danger.

If Tony has done this, who knows what else he’s capable of?

But what can I do?

If I stay, I’m putting the baby, the men that I’m falling for, and the Steel Vipers at further risk.

But if I go, I’m putting myself and this unborn child at the mercy of Tony.

I’ve managed to hide from him before, but is that a chance I’m willing to take now there’s a child involved?

Also, the thought of leaving the guys behind feels like a vice in my chest. I don’t want to leave them.

Finally, I have found something good with them. I’m not ready to lose that.

My turbulent thoughts are interrupted as we arrive at the hospital. As they wheel Axel into the ER, the others pull up and we head in together. At the insistence of the nurses, Jace allows himself to be taken to see a doctor, he too has suffered some minor burns and smoke inhalation.

The hospital is a hive of activity as doctors and nurses rush around, trying to deal with the sudden influx of patients. The rest of the injured victims have already arrived and been rushed into treatment rooms ahead of us as they were more severely injured.

After ascertaining that Rider, Knox, and I don’t need urgent medical care, the kindly receptionist directs us to the waiting area. We sit on the row of uniform, uncomfortable chairs, silent and numb with shock as the events of the night sink in.

Knox wraps his arm around me and it’s only then that I realize how inappropriately we’re all dressed for a hospital.

My cream silk nightgown is covered in dirt and soot, though thankfully I’m not completely exposed since Rider slung his leather jacket over my shoulders before I climbed into the ambulance.

The soft leather hugs itself close to me, keeping me warm and feeling safe.

It smells of him, comforting and masculine.

My bare feet are filthy and grazed. Knox is similarly underdressed in only a pair of sweatpants that are covered in blood that isn’t his own.

We sit there in silence, unable to find the words to express our concern for our friends and our disbelief over what’s happened. I know I need to tell them what I know, but the words are trapped in my throat.

I don’t know how much time has passed before a nurse approaches us.

She looks familiar and I realize that I know her from my prenatal appointments.

“Excuse me, I thought you might like to get cleaned up a bit?” she says, holding out some hospital scrubs and slippers.

“I’d like to give you both a check over, just to treat your cuts,” she adds, nodding to mine and Knox’s feet.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Knox says. “I can clean them up and bandage them myself.”

“Me too.”

“Not a chance,” he insists with a shake of his head.

The nurse smiles approvingly at him before turning her attention to me. “Given your condition, I think we should give you a proper check-over,” she says, nodding to my visible bump. “Just to be safe, you’ve had quite the shock.”

I feel like the world’s worst mother. How did it not occur to me that all of this stress could have harmed the baby? My hand flies to my stomach protectively and I nod. “Right, yes, of course.” I push myself to my feet with some difficulty, my sore feet protesting.

“Come with me then, ma’am.”

Both Knox and Rider both get up to follow and the nurse seems a little surprised by this. “They’re coming with me,” I say, my voice brokering no disagreement.

After getting cleaned up and changed I’m feeling a little better, but I can’t quell my rising panic over the baby.

As the nurse performs the ultrasound, Knox holds my hand tightly while Rider stands like a sentry, alert and ready for danger.

The fire has put him more on edge than usual, he’s going to be seeing danger around every corner.

The nurse moves the wand around on my stomach, her brow furrowed as she looks intently at the screen. I crane my head, trying to see it, too. There’s no sound. Shouldn’t there be sound?

My eyes dart to Knox and I squeeze his hand tightly as the panic rises in my throat.

My voice comes out strangled. “Is everything okay? Is my baby okay?”

“Just let me… I… I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat.” She looks at me with pity in her eyes before glances fearfully at the men. She’s afraid of them.

My brain can’t seem to comprehend what she’s saying. I stare blankly at her in disbelief. Surely, she shouldn’t be telling me this. Where’s the doctor?

“What are you saying?” Knox asks the question in my mind. He sounds as shell-shocked as I am.

“I’m saying she’s lost the baby.”

I go blank. My mind shutting down completely, as I try to cope with this shatteringly horrific news. It can’t be.

No.

I’m vaguely aware of Knox shouting at the nurse, getting irate, of Rider having to calm him down before he’s escorted off the premises by security.

The nurse apologizes again before leaving.

Knox and Rider pull me into their arms, trying to comfort me.

I barely feel it. I feel as if I’ve left my body.

“I need some air,” I finally manage to choke out.

“Okay sure,” Knox says, getting ready to come with me.

“I need to be alone, please,” I beg.

I need to wrap my head around this without looking at the crushing weight of the pain in his eyes. If anyone is more devastated by this news, by the loss of this baby, it’s Knox. I can’t bear to look at him.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll be just outside. Please,” I beg, my voice breaking as tears start to fall.

“Alright. But don’t be too long, okay?”

I nod my agreement before stumbling my way along the corridor and heading toward the elevator. I can barely see where I’m going through my tears.

Finally, I find myself in the parking lot.

I can’t breathe. I feel like I’ve failed.

I’ve failed to keep this baby safe, my only job.

This baby that was so desperately wanted by so many people.

The last shot at Zeus, Donna, Levi, and April getting the baby they fought so hard to bring into this world.

The child Zeus and Donna died protecting.

My thoughts go back to earlier in the evening, did I do this? Is this all my fault?

Hunched over, hands on my knees, I try to catch my breath. I’m so lost in my grief that I don’t hear the footsteps approaching.

I feel a hand on my shoulder as the person pulls me close. For a moment I think it’s Rider or Knox, come to check on me. But then I tense when I realize who it is.

Tony.

I try to pull away, but he holds me firm.

“It’s okay my love, I’m here now,” he murmurs sweetly but my blood turns to ice.

I freeze, fight or flight mode kicking in.

What should I do? What can I say that will keep me safe?

Tony was always unpredictable, but now he’s more volatile than ever.

One wrong word could put everyone I love in danger.

I don’t know which Tony I’m speaking to.

The one who calls me a whore and is violent toward me and anyone who comes near me, or the one who whispers sweet nothings in my ear and tells me I’m the most important woman in his life.

“What are you doing here, Tony?”

His face darkens and I realize I’ve said the wrong thing. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Of course,” I soothe, falling back into old habits of saying what he wants to hear to placate him. “I just mean, how did you find me?”

“I told you, I’ll always find you. Now, come on, let’s go home.

” Sensing my hesitation, Tony plays his trump card, making sure I go willingly and without fuss.

“It’s not safe here. The security is terrible, anyone could waltz in and plant bombs without being seen.

Just recently I read about a madman with a gun who went on a rampage in a hospital, seeking revenge against the men who fucked his wife. ”

We both know the threat he’s making. Come with me willingly or I’ll attack them . He won’t care what innocent bystanders are hurt in the process.

“If I come now, this stops. There’s no need for any more fighting. It’s the only way we can move on together. We need to forget about the past and only focus on the future. Our future,” I insist, praying that I can convince Tony to spare them.

If I sacrifice myself, at least they’ll be safe. The war will be over. No one else will get hurt.

“Of course, my love, you know I hate violence,” he says smoothly, kissing me on the lips.

The scary part is, I think some twisted part of him genuinely believes that. He thinks he’s a good guy who only does what is necessary.

“Okay, let’s go.”

With that, I allow him to guide me into the SUV and drive away.

Drive me away from the men I love. From the future that I so desperately dreamed of.

In one fell swoop, I’ve lost everything. My child. My lovers. Myself. For I know the Leah that Tony thinks he loves isn’t me. The woman I will have to become to please him, to keep myself and the people I care about alive, isn’t anything like the real me.

As we drive back to the prison he calls home, I can’t help but feel as if this is punishment for failing to keep my promise. My hand cradles my stomach where there should be life. I should have known that I can only bring death.