Page 31 of Pursued Beyond Treachery (Harrowed Hearts #2)

S usannah pulled her cloak tighter around herself. Thank goodness she’d thought to retrieve it before leaving the warmth of the stuffy ballroom. The cold March air nipped at her nose and made her wonder why she’d even come to this place.

She no longer wanted a proposal from Mr. Wallace, but she was trapped.

If John loved her as she knew he did, he’d not offer for anyone else.

And if he didn’t offer for her cousin, she’d find herself and her family in dire straits.

No one would want her, not even John if he thought her immoral and unprincipled.

And what if her father had accrued as many debts for the Newhurst holdings? John would feel betrayed as he ought.

She stared at the star-covered sky. No, she would sacrifice herself for her family's security. Perhaps Mr. Wallace could help her find a way to pay her father’s debts.

The squeal of the door drew her attention and she turned to meet her fate.

Light spilled onto the dim balcony, blinding her for a moment as a man stepped out then quickly shut the door behind him. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as fear clawed at her throat. Nothing in her wanted this moment. She reached behind her to steady herself on the stone balustrade.

“Susannah?”

The voice that met her ears made her freeze. “John?” she whispered.

An audible sigh was the only answer that met her ears. Her eyes adjusted and she took in his wonderfully tall form. How had she confused him for Mr. Wallace? They were nothing alike. The dread that had built in her chest loosened.

“You m-must be freezing out here,” he finally said.

“It is a bit cold.”

Several seconds of silence beat between them. She should probably hurry him along but she didn’t want to.

“Why are you outside?” he asked.

What should she tell him? He needed to leave before Mr. Wallace came, or before they were discovered by someone else.

Her aunt had been angry enough knowing she’d seen John on several occasions this last week while Melior healed.

She would be livid to know she was in such a compromising situation with him.

Then again, no one was here to witness it. What would one last moment hurt? A tingle of warmth budded in her chest. She’d come early and Mr. Wallace would not arrive for several minutes yet; why not enjoy John’s presence?

“Susannah, I—”

The hesitancy in John’s voice drew her in and she stepped closer. He, in turn, moved forward as well.

“I need to, that is, I want…”

He wanted? So did she. She wanted to run away with him and pretend that none of the chaos that had enveloped her life had ever existed. If only she’d never come to London. If she’d been happy to stay in Maidstone, maybe eventually they’d have found their way to one another.

“What do you want, John?” she asked softly.

He exhaled. She could not help herself. She reached out to touch his arm, but in the darkness she missed, settling her hand at his waist. He shivered and her hand flexed, feeling the muscles beneath his jacket.

Her other hand came up of its own accord and placed itself on the other side of his waist. Warning bells rang in her head, but she ignored them. This was her chance to have one last moment with him, a sort of goodbye.

“D-do y-y-you know what you are doing t-to me? I-I can h-hardly s-s-speak.”

“Then don’t,” she whispered. They didn’t need to talk. If only he’d hold her and give her something to remember for the rest of her life. One moment to cherish and carry with her in the dark days ahead.

“But I—”

She laid a finger over his lips, bravery or perhaps desperation motivating her actions. The soft skin below her fingertip was warm and tempting. She allowed her finger to move the slightest bit, enjoying the feeling a moment longer.

John inhaled and leaned into her touch, his lips pursing and gently kissing the tip of her finger. It was her turn to shudder. What would it be like to kiss those lips?

Silence met her thoughts. No footsteps, no impending doom, only John holding his breath as if waiting for her to act.

The temptation was too much. Her left hand slid up his torso to meet her right hand behind his neck as she raised up on tiptoes. He did not resist, meeting her halfway. His lips were as delicious as she’d once imagined, and she lost herself in the kiss.