Page 8 of Purrfectly Outfoxed
“Now, now,” Bea says, noticing the tension. “Let’s all be friendly! Whiskers, honey, this poor fox needs help. You know how we feel about helping animals in need.”
‘I’m going to kill you,’the cat thinks at me.
‘Get in line,’I think back.
Then she hisses.
Not a little warning hiss. A full, feral, I’m-about-to-fuck-you-up hiss that makes every hair on my body stand on end.
My fox instincts kick in and before I can stop myself, I bark. Not a cute fox yip—a full aggressive warning bark.
“Oh, dear!” Bea says.
The cat launches herself at me.
I dodge left, but she’s fast, swiping at my face with claws fully extended. I feel one catch my ear and yelp, stumbling backward.
‘That’s for eating my chicken!’
‘Oh, my god. It was just some chicken! I was hungry!’
She comes at me again, hissing and flashing claws. I drop low, then dart forward and pounce on her tail.
The yowl that comes out of her could wake the dead.
She’s on me in a second, a whirlwind of fur and fury. We’re rolling across the floor, a tangle of fox and cat, and I can hear Bea shouting but I’m too busy trying not to get my eyes clawed out.
‘You stepped on my TAIL!’
‘You clawed my ear!’
‘I don’t CARE!’
She lands a solid hit to my nose and I yelp again, finally managing to squirm away. We face off, both panting, both furious.
“THAT IS ENOUGH!”
Bea’s voice cuts through the chaos and so does the broom she shoves between us.
“I will not have fighting in this house!” She sweeps me in one direction, then sweeps the broom toward the cat, herding it toward the hall. “Whiskers, honey, I think you need some time to calm down.”
‘What?!’The cat’s mental shriek nearly deafens me. ‘I’M not the problem! HE IS!’
But Bea is already sweeping her through an open door, while the cat wriggles and yowls trying to avoid the moving broom.
“I know you’re upset, sweetie, but this is not how we treat guests. Even unexpected ones.”
‘Guest?! GUEST?! Try interloper! Try devil incarnate! Try flea-ridden-half-pint-predator!’
The broom bristles chase her down the hall, and I lean back on the rug, tail flicking lazily.
‘Devil incarnate, huh? I’ve been called worse. Usually by smarter cats.’
‘SMARTER?! I’ll show you smart, you?—’
The door slams shut, cutting off her mental tirade. Well, not cutting it off exactly, because I can still hear her screaming in my head, but at least there’s a physical barrier between us now.
I lie on my side, trying to look as innocent and pathetic as possible as Bea returns, shaking her head.