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CHAPTER 1

Raven

The scent of freshly cut grass and pavement baking under the sun fills the air as I step out of the car. It’s the kind of day that makes you feel alive, full of promise and possibilities.

The campus is buzzing with energy—students dragging boxes, parents giving last-minute hugs, and upperclassmen barking directions at everyone like drill sergeants.

I bounce on my toes, staring up at the brick buildings with their ivy-covered walls as I smile. This is it. Our new start. A fresh chapter where everything we’ve dreamed of will finally begin.

“Alex, can you believe this place?” I turn toward him, expecting him to share in my excitement, but he’s standing against the back of the car, scrolling on his phone. Again. “Hey, earth to Alex?”

“Huh?” He glances up like he’s just now remembered I exist.

“Can you help me with the boxes? Or are you planning to let your girlfriend handle everything while you DM your hockey bros?”

“Sorry,” he mutters, pocketing his phone. “Just checking something important.”

Of course it’s “important.” Lately, everything Alex does has to do with hockey, and now, he's too caught up with this secret society called The Pantheon. It's one of the quieter societies on campus, one that you hear about now and again, which makes it feel more elite. Alex has been obsessing over them since he found out they’re connected to the university’s hockey team.

From the way he talks about it, you’d think joining them is a one-way ticket to the NHL. I don't know what to think about this, though. Maybe it's like any other frat with special privileges, but I've heard rumors...

I sigh and grab a box labeled "Kitchen Stuff." The thing is, I get it. Hockey is Alex’s dream, and he’s good. Like, really good. But sometimes it feels like that dream is all he sees.

“You okay?” he asks, snapping out of whatever daydream—or scheme—he was lost in.

“Yeah, just hoping I don’t throw out my back before classes even start.” I flash him a grin, but it feels forced.

He finally moves to grab a box, his muscles flexing under his T-shirt. Okay, fine, I’ll admit it—he looks good. Like, too good. The kind of good that makes girls on campus do double takes as we walk by. But he’s mine. High school sweetheart, first love, the whole nine yards.

We start up the narrow dorm stairs, dodging a herd of freshmen with color-coded bins. Alex barely notices them, laser-focused on not spilling his protein powder or whatever’s in his box. Meanwhile, I’m trying not to trip over my own feet; the stairs are steep, and my flip-flops are traitorous.

“Your room’s down the hall, right?” he asks when we reach the second floor.

“Yep. 207.”

“Cool,” he says, distracted again already.

Once we reach the door, I set my box down and fumble with the key. The room is small but cozy, with a twin bed shoved against one wall and a desk crammed into the corner. It smells faintly of industrial cleaner, but it's a place for new possibilities, I guess, so who cares about the smell, right?

“This is it,” I say, looking around. “Home sweet home.”

Alex nods absently, dumping the box on the bed before checking his phone again.

“Seriously?” I ask, hands on my hips. “You’ve been glued to that thing all day.”

He looks up, guilt flickering across his face. “Sorry, babe. It’s just... I have a few things on my mind.”

“What kind of things?”

“There's a party tonight.” His eyes light up for the first time since we got here. “The boys from the team will be there, you know, and... maybe some guys from The Pantheon as well.”

Ah. So, this is why he’s been acting like he’s on another planet. “Tonight? We just got here.”

“I know, but this is big, Raven. If I can get in with them, it could change everything. The connections, the opportunities... It’s huge.”

I lean against the desk, trying to process this. “And what exactly happens at these parties?”

“Just networking. Hanging out. Nothing crazy.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal.

But it is a big deal. Alex has been chasing this dream for as long as I’ve known him, and I’ve supported him every step of the way. Still, there’s something about this Pantheon business that doesn't sit right with me.

“Do you even know what they expect from you? Like, are you even sure the Pantheon guys will be there? Or is it just ‘show up and hope for the best’?”

He hesitates, which tells me all I need to know.

“Look,” he says, stepping closer and putting his hands on my shoulders. “I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t important. This is my shot, babe. I need you to trust me.”

I search his face, wanting to believe him. I always want to believe him. “Okay,” I say softly. “But please be careful.”

“I will. Promise.” He kisses my forehead before grabbing his phone again.

I watch him walk out the door, my heart a tangled mess of pride and unease. I’ve always known Alex’s dreams would take him far, but sometimes I wonder if they’ll leave me behind.

After unpacking most of my things and grabbing a quick snack from the dining hall, I call my mom.

“How’s my college girl?” she asks, her voice warm but tired.

“Good! The campus is amazing, and my dorm is cute. You’d love it.”

“That’s wonderful, sweetheart. And Alex? How’s he settling in?”

I hesitate, debating how much to share. “He’s... focused. You know Alex.”

“Mm-hmm.” Her tone carries a mix of approval and caution. “He’s a good boy, Raven. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”

“I won’t, Mom. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, the same. Dr. Patel says I’m stable, which is a blessing.”

I bite my lip, fighting the lump in my throat. Mom’s been battling her illness for years, and the bills... well, let’s just say we wouldn’t have made it without the help of Alex’s father’s megachurch. Their support has been a lifeline, but it comes with strings—mainly, the unspoken expectation that Alex and I stick together.

“I’ll send you some pictures of the campus,” I say, changing the subject. “You’ll love the library. It’s huge.”

“I can’t wait,” she says, her smile audible through the phone.

After we hang up, I sit on the edge of my bed, staring at the plain white walls. A part of me wonders if I’m here because I want to be or because I’ve always followed Alex’s lead.

Just then, the door swings open and Alex strides in, looking like he just won the lottery.

“Guess what?” he says, his grin contagious.

“What?”

“I met with the team, and they confirmed that some Pantheon members will be there at the party tonight.”

“So... you're really going, huh? We aren't going to celebrate tonight? Our first night in our dorms?”

“I'm sorry, but you realize this really important for me, don't you?”

The way he says it, all hopeful and determined, makes it hard to say no. “Fine,” I sigh. “I'm gonna let this go just this once, okay?”

He laughs, pulling me into a hug. “I'll make it up to you.”

As he talks about the team and how he's trying to climb up the hockey ladder, I try to ignore the nagging feeling in my chest. I love Alex, I really do, but sometimes it feels like I’m standing in his shadow. Like he doesn't care about anything I want... or about me.

Maybe things will change. Or maybe I'll need to finally confirm what I’m too scared to admit: that I’m not just here for the fresh start. I’m here because I don’t know how to let go.