Page 25 of Pucked Up (Punk as Puck #2)

CHAPTER

THIRTEEN

BODEN

Okay, yeah. There were regrets.

I didn’t lose my job, but it was a near thing.

The fact that it didn’t put the fear of God into me the way I expected meant something, but I filed that away with the giant pile of shit I wasn’t in the mood to deal with.

But it turns out that not calling in and not showing up to department meetings and student appointments was a big deal.

So was ignoring phone calls.

My friends gave me exactly twenty-nine hours before they showed up at my front door to find out what the fuck was wrong with me. I was rotting, stretched out lengthwise on the couch with my hearing aids off, when I saw a flash of light from near the front door, and I realized it had been opened.

I heard it when it slammed shut.

Ford was the first to appear, looking exhausted with his hair messier than it normally was. His cheeks were splotchy, and he was walking with his cane, which was unusual.

Tucker was next. He looked a bit more put together, if not just as exhausted as Ford. He was in his wheelchair with his legs off. Both of them looked like their childhood puppies had been brutally murdered.

“Who died?” I asked.

Ford looked like he wanted to punch me. He stalked forward until he was within touching distance, then slammed his hands on the arm of the couch behind my head.

“We thought you did, asshole!” It was easy to hear that when he damn near shouted it against my ear.

I started to roll my eyes because obviously I wasn’t dead, but Ford grabbed my chin.

He looked so much angrier than he ever had. “Do not roll your eyes at me.”

“Hey. Don’t…we can…breathe.” Tucker was too far away for me to make out most of what he was saying, but he rolled closer, and then my hearing aid case hit me in the center of the chest. I glanced over at him as best I could while Ford was still holding my face. He gestured at me to put them on.

“Fine. Let me go?” I looked Ford right in the eyes, and it took him a good fifteen seconds for him to let go and lean back.

I hadn’t worn them in a while, so putting that much more access to sound in my head made my temples throb. I listened for the soft pings as they came online, then the annoying whooshing sound of being able to hear air moving in the room .

And then I could make out the sound of Ford’s heavy breathing, and I realized he was actually upset. “Ford. Hey, listen?—”

He shook his head as he shoved away from me and collapsed on the single empty cushion my feet couldn’t reach. “What the fuck is wrong with you? We have been calling and texting.”

I’d been ignoring every buzz of my phone as I wallowed. I thought the pain of knowing I’d hurt Hugo was bad. This? My friends? The only people who had ever loved me the way family should?

That made me a real bastard.

“I’m sorry.”

Tucker sighed as he wheeled up close to where I was lying and offered me a hand up.

I got my feet situated on the edge of the coffee table, and then he cleared his throat.

“The college called. Some guy named Rick or Dick or…whatever. I don’t remember.

He called Ford first, then me. He sounded worried. ”

I bowed my head. The shame was…a lot.

“Tuck wouldn’t let me drive over here and check on you.” Ford’s voice was trembling now. “He said you were fine, but all I could think about was maybe you had a freaking seizure and hit your head, or…”

I glanced up at him. “I haven’t had a seizure in years.”

“You know that’s not the fucking point,” Ford snapped.

I did. “I really am sorry. I just…I don’t know. I needed a moment.”

“I figured,” Tucker said. He shifted restlessly in his chair. “And I wish you’d tell us what was going on because things are getting weirder. I thought since you and Hugo had some kind of truce, but?—”

At the sound of Hugo’s name, I flinched. I hadn’t meant to, but I had no idea how he was doing either, and my mind was in full disaster mode. It was absurd to think that I had any kind of emotional power over him, of course, but the thought that I could was too much to handle.

“Seriously? Bodie, I love you so fucking much, but you need to get over your anger at him just because he’s not disabled and?—”

“We fucked,” I blurted.

Tucker’s words died in the space between us. He swallowed. Blinked. Glanced over at Ford, who looked a little stunned. Then he finally looked back at me and stared hard like he was the one who wasn’t sure he could hear properly.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. It took several breaths and forcibly unsticking my tongue from the roof of my mouth to get anything out. “It was a mistake.” Oh, those words tasted like the most bitter lie.

“Did he…” Ford cleared his throat. “Did he hurt you? Did he force you to?—”

“No. God, no.” Christ, I could not let either of them think that. I was the one begging like a cat in heat. But I wasn’t ready to admit that either. “It was definitely, ah, mutual.”

Ford relaxed a fraction, but he didn’t look satisfied. “He’s your coach. ”

This time, I did roll my eyes, and he didn’t threaten me for it. “I’m not some malleable teenager, and this is beer league hockey.”

He looked offended. “We’re not just some?—”

“We are,” I said quickly, interrupting him.

“We have connections to the pros, and we’re friends with players in the league.

I come from, well, my family. The lines there might be a little blurred, but the bullshit between me and Hugo isn’t.

I have a job. I don’t need him. This wasn’t some exchange of favors or anything like that.

I wasn’t coerced.” I’d wanted it more than anything I’d ever wanted in my life.

Ford licked his lips. “Y-you don’t like him.”

“No.” Except…maybe I kind of did? “We’ve found some common ground lately.”

At that, Tucker snorted, and Ford shot him a betrayed look. “What? That’s fucking hilarious, and once you get over your whole”—he waved his hand up and down at Ford—“thing, you’ll be laughing your ass off.” He leaned over his thighs. “How was it? He looks like he could boss you around real good.”

“I’m not talking about this,” I snapped.

He groaned and sat back. “Come on. I give you all my dirty details.”

“Against my will! I do not want to know the noises Amedeo makes when you put a tongue in his ass.”

He looked like he was in heaven. “Oh, they’re so good though. Does Hugo?—”

“No!” Ford said loudly. “No. We’re not talking about the noises our coach makes when Boden puts a tongue in his ass.”

“I haven’t put a tongue in his ass yet,” I said absently, then flushed. “I mean—shit. It’s…we’ve only fucked a couple of times.”

Tucker studied me, then startled the shit out of me and Ford when he clapped his hands together loudly. “Oh my God! It was that night. The night you were all pissed off and freaking out, and then suddenly, you were calm. You listened to him during practice the next day!”

That was definitely more than one night, but I couldn’t deny it. “He knew what I needed.”

Both of my friends were dead silent. Then Ford asked, “Who else knows?”

“No one.”

“Micah? Jonah? Tiago?”

My cheeks flushed again, and I sighed. “Tiago technically knows, but he doesn’t know who Hugo is.”

Tucker frowned. “Uh. Explain?”

“The first time we fucked was when I met him at a bar before I knew who he was,” I admitted. “He was one of my, you know…”

“Right. Fake name, big-dick guys,” Tucker said, waving his hand dismissively.

They were definitely not always guys with big dicks, but I wasn’t going to argue that point with him.

Ford held up a hand. “Wait. When did you find out that he was the new coach? ”

I rubbed at my eyes. “Uhg. At the meeting a few weeks later.” It felt like a lifetime now, and the thought that Hugo and I had only been doing this a short while was kind of wild.

“So is that why…” Ford trailed off.

I met his gaze. “Why what?”

“Why you wanted us to hate him,” Tucker supplied, sounding way too happy. But there was an undercurrent of anger and tension in his voice that I could hear almost perfectly now that I had my damn hearing aids in. I wanted to rip them out. “Was it all because he fucked you and you liked it?”

I felt a rush of anger as I looked between him and Ford. “T’es bête? Are you serious?” My chest hurt with the pain of that accusation. I was upset to learn the man I’d fucked was the able-bodied person hired to coach our team, but it had nothing to do with that. “You think I’m so petty?—”

“Yeah,” Ford interrupted, uncharacteristically unkind.

“I do think you could be that petty, which is why I’m asking.

Was it so bad that he didn’t want to fuck you a second time, and you decided to take it out on the whole team by having a goddamn tantrum?

Did you want Tuck and I to look ridiculous by helping you, all because he?—”

“Ford!” Tucker said, his voice firm, loud, and angry. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Ford looked immediately sorry, but the damage was done. His words were more painful than anyone else’s because he was my friend. He was my…my Ford .

My throat felt thick, and my eyes were hot. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Shit,” Ford said. He shook his head and started to reach for me, but I pulled back, and he dropped his hands to his lap. “I didn’t mean that. Christ, I didn’t mean that, okay? I haven’t slept in twenty-four hours, and I’m just trying to make sense of all this.”

I understood that. I did. I couldn’t judge my friends for lashing out when they were upset or exhausted. I was worse than them when my brain had bad days. I’d damn near sabotaged my entire team because of a chip on my shoulder.

I took a breath, then reached for Ford. He curled against me immediately, shoving his face in my neck. “I’m sorry I disappeared on you. I didn’t mean to.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry too. I promise I didn’t mean what I said. Fuck. I’m just so confused, and I was shit-scared something happened to you, and?—”