Page 36

Chapter 36

Annie

FEbrUARY | Balance: $46,291

We committed to staying hidden. We chose each other. Both of our schedules were still all over the place, but we did the best we could.

On days when we couldn’t see each other, we’d at least exchange a few texts. We signed off with XO. The way I felt about Nick was way bigger than XO, but admitting I loved him was the one line I was too scared to cross. Because if I told him I loved him and I had to give him up, I didn’t know if my heart could bear it.

Because he was the best person I’d ever had. He was worth the risk.

That first night we had sex, Nick and I stayed up most of the night going at it again and again. There was the physical nature of it, but our relationship had shifted, too. We weren’t a checklist or an experiment.

He told me I was the destination. And while I didn’t anticipate it when we started out, he was mine too.

Our life of secrecy was sweet. It sucked that we couldn’t share ourselves with our friends, but Nick made our few nights a week together worthwhile.

When we couldn’t be together and had some alone time, we’d call each other from hotel rooms and talk until we fell asleep. Nick told me about what the team was up to, and we shared what we saw in our travels. We talked childhood memories and movies and sports and books.

Sometimes I’d get home from work late and he and Greg would be waiting with a simple dinner. Nick would rub my feet on the couch and I’d use his Theragun on his shoulders. We’d fall asleep reading together. One night, I fell asleep before he was done getting ready for bed, my book falling against my face. I woke just enough to feel Nick slide off my glasses, put a bookmark in my book, and kiss my forehead before getting in bed next to me.

My magic man.

He’d come straight to my house after he got back from road trips, climbing in my bed. And he’d say the same thing every time. “It’s good to be home.”

We had period sex, and tipsy sex, and shower sex, and living room floor sex. Sometimes we made love and sometimes we were hot, fast, and dirty.

He was a dream.

It was the life I’d envisioned with a partner, what I put in the wedding vows we made up on a dancefloor in West Virginia.

But there came a time when I got scared. My debt payments were excelling, with my balance the lowest it had ever been with the lowest interest rates. I was down to about $45,000 remaining. The endorsements and their commissions were flying through. But the more I paid, the more the companies demanded. The phone calls from collectors got more frequent, sometimes calling back-to-back while I was with Nick.

The point was made: I really could not afford, in a monetary way, to lose my job.

The biggest risk to my job was Nick. If we got found out, there was a real chance that I could get sent packing. And then what? Go crawling back to Tennessee, begging Roger for my job back? That couldn’t happen.

The fear got to me, and I started to fade.

I put distance between me and Nick. It wasn’t a fully conscious effort. I got slower to answer texts. I told him I was too tired to talk. When we did talk, I shared less of what was going on in my day-to-day. I’d cut our conversations short and make up an excuse to hang up.

I just didn’t want him tangled up in my mess. The more I pushed him away, the more likely it would be to end without me having to call it quits.

Because if I called it quits, Nick would do that emotionally mature thing he did where he rationally analyzed the problem and wanted to come up with a solution together. But no solution would be one he’d like, and I couldn’t stand to see his broken heart. You can’t rationalize your way out of facts, and the facts were that my job had to come first over what we had.

* * *

“Stop worrying so much. You’re doing just fine,” Marcie promised.

We were doing a phone check-in from her maternity leave, her coaching me on various client issues that cropped up.

“I feel like I’m treading water. I’m trying to go to enough games and prospect new talent, but it always feels like playing catch-up.”

“It’s sports agency. You’re never fully caught up. Been having fun with your buddy Obi?”

I took a few seconds for Nick’s nickname to catch up to me. “Oh, yeah. He’s pretty easy. I’m due for a meeting with him soon to touch base.”

“I heard he had you on skates a couple months back,” she laughed.

My stomach dropped. “How’d you hear that one?”

“Dev told me. I may have asked him about you when he called to ask me something about Stelle. He said you’re doing just fine.”

That surprised me. Dev was civil to me, but never overly warm. I always felt like he was a little mad at me. And I had a lingering paranoia that he would connect the dots about me and Nick.

Marcie and I went over some other clients I’d handled recently and chatted prospects.

“Can I ask you something personal, Marcie?”

“Open book. Let’s hear it.”

“Do you ever wish it was more balanced? Like the money’s good obviously, but it’s just kinda tiring. I prefer the female clients, and doing so many different sports is a lot to balance.”

“Shoot, me too. But part of it’s what we have you covering. When I’m back, we can divide things up a little bit better. You’re our legal gal, but you’re wearing more hats than that right now.” She paused. “We should get coffee sometime. Get me in some clean pants and out of the house anyway.”

Nick appeared in my office doorway, dressed in a dapper blue suit and looking annoyed.

“Oh, speaking of Oberbeck, he’s walking in now.”

“I’ll let you go. Send me a calendar invite for coffee, though. Please. For the love of God.”

I laughed as I hung up with Marcie, but the look on Nick’s face sobered me quickly.

“Hey, Nick! What can I do for you? We’re not scheduled till next week.”

He closed the door behind him, his brow furrowing. “Annie, what’s going on? I haven’t heard from you in two days.”

My stomach clenched. I’d been blowing him off, and he was calling me out.

“Um, yes? I’ve been really busy.”

“Too busy to text me back for two whole days? You had me worried.”

I took a deep breath, sighing it out. “It’s not personal. I haven’t seen anyone. I told you I had to travel this week. I’ve had to go to games and see prospects. I just got back last night.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked. That heartbreak that I feared was already in his eyes. “You know you can call me anytime, Annie.”

I lowered my voice. “If I call you at certain hours, you might be with the guys. I can’t risk it.”

“Look, I made time for you. I came straight from the airport. If this is what it takes, I’ll make the sacrifices. You know I’ll cook for you and be there when you get home—”

I rubbed my temples. “I can’t ask that of you, Nick.”

“You don’t have to ask, Annie. It’s what someone does when they care about you. I’ve missed you, and I want to see you.”

“We can’t do this here,” I whispered. “I have to work late tonight.”

“Then come over after. It’s closer. I don’t care how late it is. You know I give good foot rubs.”

“Nick.”

“Annie, work can’t be your entire life.”

“Easy for you to say. All your bills are paid.”

Nick’s brow knit further. “Do you have money trouble? This should be a pretty good job, right?”

I swallowed hard.

“Angel, you can tell me. I’m not going to judge you. You know I’m on your side.”

I rolled my lips. “I, um, we wracked up a lot of medical debt when my mom was sick. A lot of it went to collections and gained a bunch of interest. It’s lower than it’s been in years, but yeah, still a lot to pay.”

His eyes moved over my face. “Those phone calls?”

“Bill collectors.”

He thought for a second, tracking the stacks on my desk. “And your dad?”

I nodded. “Is still putting my siblings through school. I volunteered to take it on after I finished law school.”

Nick cocked his head to the side, not mad, just bummed. “Annie. You could have told me.”

My voice was hardly louder than a mouse’s squeak. “You’re my client. I didn’t want you to think you had to do certain things so I could get paid.”

“Annie, I’d wear fucking clown shoes for an endorsement deal if it meant you didn’t have to deal with this. How much do you have left to pay?”

I hung my head. “This is exactly what I mean. You don’t need to get wrapped up in this. It’s my personal business.”

“Yeah? Well, you’re my business.”

My voice was broken. “That’s why I’ve been quiet. We’ve gotten too close.”

He gritted his teeth, looking at the floor. “What if I fire you? Get another agent? Then we could be together.”

My eyes went big. “You have the right to seek other representation,” I said quietly.

He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. Then you’d be double-screwed. That won’t work.”

“I should have been more honest about all this. I just didn’t want you to think about it. I could get fired for telling you, though. Now you’re tied up in it. And then there’s the sex and the . . . feelings.”

“Baby, you don’t have to bear all this alone.” He came around to my side of the desk. “We’ll figure it out, Annie.” His hands met my shoulders, kneading at a knot. “Twenty minutes. Give me twenty minutes. No calls, no emails, no texts. Just you and me. Does that sound good for you?”

I lolled my head back, loving the relief in my muscles from his hands.

“Yes.”

“You don’t need to carry the weight of the world, Annie. Not for your family. Not for me. No one.”

“It’s a nice thought, bub.”

“Well, right now you’re going to take twenty minutes off. Twenty minutes of make-believe. I’m going to lock this door, and you’re going to call that very nice lady who gives you the Diet Cokes and sent me straight back to see you, and you’re going to tell her to hold your calls. Is this a ‘hold my calls’ job?”

I snorted. “Yeah, it is.” I picked up the phone and told Retha I had an unexpected client meeting and to block my calendar. I tracked Nick as he crossed the room to lock the door.

“Already on it, sweetie,” she said. “I won’t let anyone through until I see Mr. Oberbeck leave.”

I ignored the nagging sense that she knew exactly why Mr. Oberbeck was there, but Retha seemed to have my back.

“Good girl,” Nick cooed as I hung up. He knelt between my legs, pulling me forward under my knees. My hands cupped his jaw, gazing into those sweet eyes. “Now give me some of that sugar I’ve been missing.”

“I thought this was about me,” I teased. “You’re making it about you.”

“Like you haven’t missed my kisses, Annabelle.”

I hovered just in front of his mouth, stalling.

He snickered. “We’ve only got twenty minutes. You want to lose time being stubborn or you want to get some of this?”

I clutched his tie, brushing my lips with his. “Look who’s begging for kisses now.”

I wished I had a spoon to eat up his lustful look, heavy lids and a tiny smirk on his lips. “You like it when I beg,” he said.

“Guess you’d better get to begging, then, little dove,” I teased.

“Annie, please. I’ve missed you so bad. I need you, please, give me—“

I cut him off by smashing us together, capturing his mouth. Everything slowed, time suspended in molasses, because for that moment, everything was right. His hands on my thighs, sliding up to my hips. A gentle touch to my abdomen that made my stomach jump. My hand groped his firm bicep, pushing his jacket to the floor behind him. Nick’s lips traveled down my neck, moisture pooling between my legs.

“You’re already on your knees,” I said. “What’s your plan there?”

“Well, I did come hungry,” he said, sitting back on his heels. “Spread your legs more for me, angel.”

I did as he asked and scooted my chair back. Nick hooked a finger into the mesh of my panties, moving them to the side.

Was this really happening? An intensely hot guy that I met at my best friend’s wedding was eating me out at my six-figure job. Oh, and there he added his fingers inside. Curses fell out of me and I couldn’t help but moan, Nick’s work winding me tighter.

He shook his head and tsked me. “Keep quiet or these panties are going in your mouth.”

“Sounds like you feel like you’re in charge,” I taunted.

He pulled away from me and looked deep into my eyes. “If you think for one second that I didn’t premeditate coming in here, bending you over this desk, and railing you within an inch of your life, you’ve lost all touch with reality.”

I whimpered, overwhelmed at the thought as his face disappeared between my legs again.

“Open your shirt and show me those tits, Annabelle. Rub them real good for me while I work on this pussy.”

I obeyed, looking at him, a man in a suit bowing before me. He was ordering me around, but all with the goal of making me let go for a while. I put my heel on his shoulder and the visual was incredible. He turned away from my pussy and quickly licked the length of my heel.

“My God, Nick,” I whispered. He continued lapping at me, making a wet spot on my office chair. I thrust into his face, gripping his hair for leverage. The intensity became too much, my hand over my mouth as Nick brought me to the edge.

“Fuck me over it, please, baby.”

“Up. Bend over.” Touching the back of his hand to his mouth, he stood, helping me up and moving me to the side of my desk. With one clean swipe, he cleared the top of my desk, sending the few files and my cute pink clickety-clacking keyboard flying.

Nick grabbed me by my polished ponytail, steering me so that my front pressed into the top of my desk. “This is mighty convenient.”

I mewled out his name as he shoved my skirt to my waist, working my panties down my legs. “I said you had to be quiet, Annabelle. What’s going to happen if you don’t?”

A smirk crossed my lips and my stomach leapt at the thought, his hand holding my underwear against mine on the desk. “Panties in my mouth.”

“That’s right,” he cooed, tugging me more upright. “Now let me fuck you like the slut you love to be for me.”

His hands roved over my ass, sinking his fingers into my flesh until I could swear I’d have little pinpoint bruises. “I wanna spank this ass so bad, but people will hear.”

“Just fuck me, Nick,” I begged.

He slapped my clit with his cock to my sigh, my head tilting up. I looked back to find him watching himself go in, disbelief on his face. His first thrusts were gentle, exploratory, letting me adjust to his fullness.

“You’ve been needing me to come make it right, haven’t you, angel?”

“Yes. I need you.”

“You need this cock filling up your aching pussy, don’t you, baby?”

“Faster, harder, please,” I practically cried.

“Oh, you want it faster? What would people think, Annie? To know that the golden girl is so needy, wanting my balls slapping her pussy when she’s all bent over her desk, desperate to be a good girl for me? Because what you’re gonna get is slow, and deep, and hard, so we don’t let everybody in this office know just how good you take it.”

“Nick,” I whined as I rubbed my clit.

“Yeah, touch yourself, baby. I wanna feel every bit of you milking my cock.”

His pace was steady, but as he promised, not fast. Smacking sex sounds wouldn’t help our case. My edge crept closer with each thrust, one of his hands folded into the bend of my hip and the other holding me back by my elbow. I moaned his name again.

“That’s it, Annie. Let go, baby. Let me have it, because you’re going to be leaking me the rest of the day, thinking about how good I gave it to you.”

I couldn’t find my breath, wrenched from me as my orgasm worked over me, starting at my toes. Nick leaned over my back to coo in my ear about how good I was doing. Then he was shifting items on my desk again.

“Turn over, angel. I want to look in your eyes while I lose it.”

I laid back on the desk and brought my legs up. “Come inside me. Please, Nick.”

He tugged my thighs into his arms, my hips dangling off the desk.

“So pretty spread out for me, Annabelle. So pretty.”

Sweat beaded his brow, a curl of hair falling over his forehead as he found his edge.

“Touch yourself,” he ordered, and when I did, he stilled, his eyes going hazy and a smaller orgasm rolling through me.

After a moment of shocked rest and a torrent of kisses with him still buried inside me, we helped each other get put back together.

There was a knock at the door, followed by whoever it was trying the handle. I froze.

“Uh, yes?” I asked.

“It’s Dev. Why is your door locked?”

“I’m in a meeting,” I tried.

“Oh, cool. Just come see me when you’re done.”

“Yep!”

Nick had his hand over his mouth, stifling his laughter.

“It’s not funny,” I hissed.

“Oh, come on. He didn’t see anything!”

Guilt and shame washed over me, hating how irresponsible I’d been. “We were stupid to do this. This was reckless.”

Nick shook his head, taking my hand. “Annie, it’s okay to do things for yourself. You were beautiful just now. I’ll leave and let you get back to work.”

My hands balled into fists, a tide of regret washing over me. “You never should have come here.”

“Annie—”

“Nick, you need to go.”

“I’m going,” he said, shrugging his jacket on and stepping forward to hold my waist. “But no matter what happens, I hope you feel like we are worth the risk. Because I do. I’m not giving up on us, and I hope you won’t either.”

“There’s risk, and then there’s recklessness. This was reckless, Nick.”

Nick held the back of my head to bring my eyes to his. “You’re right. But didn’t you need it?”

“My needs aren’t important.” It just came flying out of my mouth, and I realized quickly that it was the thesis of my entire life. I’d put everyone first but me for almost all of my life.

Nick shook his head, gently holding my shoulders. “Annie, you are always worthy. Your needs will always be important.”

In a desperate effort to save my own PR front to the man who most likely loved me, I tried to explain myself. “I need this job.”

His eyes softened and he rolled his lips. “I know, baby. I didn’t mean to disregard that. I was trying to take care of you. I felt you pulling away, and thought you needed the reminder to take care of yourself.”

I gave a feeble nod.

“Come over tonight? I can stop by your place to pick up some clothes for you.”

It was so much easier to keep my distance when he wasn’t standing in front of me. It was easier to push him away than to feel everything when I was in his glow. His reasonable, mostly sensible glow.

I pushed up on my toes to give him a quick kiss. “Okay.” I put my hand on the door handle, took a deep breath, and arranged my face into a bright smile. “I’ll see you for our meeting next week to finalize all of this.”

“Sounds good. I’ll email that contact info,” he said on his way out. And as he stepped into the hallway, Dev popped out of the men’s room.

Fuck. Why hadn’t it occurred to me that he might still be close by?

“Nick! Good to see you, man!” he cried. “Annie had you all locked up in there?”

Double fuck .

“Locked up?” Nick asked, playing it off. “I’ve gotta get back to the arena, actually. See you again soon?”

“Sure, man,” Dev said, turning to me. “Ready, Annie?”

“Yeah, let me just hit the restroom and I’ll come down to your office,” I said a little too loudly.

And as I stepped into the bathroom, I flattened myself against the closed stall door, silently using every curse word in my vocabulary.

Dev had to know. I was so screwed.