Page 93 of Protected By the Sinner

The home we’re building has to be sacred.

This morning, she asked me—direct as ever, the way this new Amber is—whether we’ll stay in New Orleans after the baby is born.

To be honest, I hadn’t thought about it. Woman and child . . . all of it still feels new. The idea of a real home. A family—something I’ve only ever known in a twisted, broken form.

Aurellie was a good mother to me, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget that she lied to me for all the years we were together.Without knowing, I was raised by the man who murdered my real parents. Subjected to his cruelty.

A voice in my head still says that if she had really loved me, she would’ve taken me far away from him.

But I don’t want to dwell on the past. I can’t undo the shit that happened to me, but I can do everything differently for our child.

A few minutes later, I get home and find her in one of the rooms on the second floor.

Not all of the rooms are furnished—I never brought anyone here. This place was just somewhere for me to crash.

This particular room is two doors down from ours and practically empty.

I watch her as she walks back and forth, touching the walls, not realizing I’m standing there. Then she looks up at the ceiling, where the left side slopes down diagonally.

“Daydreaming?”

She turns and smiles. “Imagining what color the wallpaper should be. I want this to be the baby’s room. The doctor in Boston said we’ll find out the gender soon.”

I walk over and try to see our future through her eyes.

I want this. Amber, our baby, and if I’m lucky, a little peace.

“Do you have a preference?” I ask.

“No, I’ll love either one. But if I could choose, I’d want a boy. One who could defend himself like you.”

“Why?”

“You know why. My father’s not the only sick pedophile in the world.”

I’ve already told her I have the names of the other elders, but she hasn’t asked what I plan to do about them.

“Even if it’s a girl, I’m sure she’ll be a fighter, just like her mom.” I lift her into my arms and sit in the only armchair inthe room. “I don’t want you to worry about that. No matter the gender, I’ll protect our child. I’d give my life if I had to.”

“I don’t want that. Either of you in danger.”

“No one’s completely safe, Amber. The best we can do is reduce the risks.”

I rest my chin on her head, thinking about what I need to say next. She needs to know who she’s really with, but it’s not something I like to admit.

I can’t ask her to marry me without giving her a deeper glimpse into the man she’s saying yes to.

“Today, I killed the man who ordered my parents’ execution.”

She lifts her head and looks at me, but she doesn’t seem horrified. “So it’s over, then?”

“The revenge for my family’s death, yes. But what I didn’t tell you is that I also killed my adoptive father a few years ago.”

“Why are you telling me these things, Beau?”

“To give you the chance to walk away—if that’s what you want.”

“Why would I do that? Because you killed two monsters?”