Page 5
Jade
Do I pretend that I didn’t notice? Play it off as if I didn’t see Saint watching me in the mirror as I showered?
My cheeks are practically on fire as I turn off the water, but I’m not sure I’m ready to climb out just yet. I know I should be upset about him seeing me naked, considering what happened—and what might have happened—to me tonight. But I don’t feel upset or afraid at all. Something about Saint is both exciting and soothing at the same time.
I want him to look at me. Catching him staring in the mirror, even if it was just for a moment, made my whole body flush with something I’d never felt before. My heartrate picked up, but it wasn’t from fear. No, I shocked even myself when I realized I was hoping he’d join me. Disappointment had settled over my whole body when he’d stepped away from the door. I thought maybe he’d left the room entirely, and that’s when fear did seize me. I’d had to turn the shower off with shampoo still in my hair to make sure he remained close by.
I can’t make sense of what’s happening to me, but I can’t exactly hide in here forever either. At some point, I’ll have to go out there and face the man. I shuffle my feet nervously, my cheeks burning furiously with mortification before I finally decide I might as well deal with it.
“Saint?” I call out, clearing out my voice when it comes out a little shaky.
“I’m here,” he says, that deep voice causing my nipples to ache. I have no idea what is happening to me or how I can react to someone’s voice in this way.
“Um, could you please pass me a towel?”
“I also tossed a towel on the counter for you. You can pick a t-shirt from closet to wear for tonight. It’ll be massive on you, but it’s the best I can do right now.” I find a towel right where he said it’d be and quickly dry off. I can’t help but raise the fabric to my nose and take a deep breath, instantly feeling soothed by the smell of fabric softener a hint of Saint’s unique scent.
I grip the towel tightly as I creep back into the bedroom and stop in my tracks when I spot Saint seated on the bed, scrolling through his phone and acting as if he wasn’t jerking off moments ago.
Do I bring it up? Call him out for looking at me in the shower?
Do I even care?
I gnaw my bottom lip as I stare at the man, and there’s that ache again, but this time, it’s not just in my nipples. The spot between my thighs is practically pulsing with heat so strong, it’s unlike anything I have ever felt before.
Arousal.
It’s not like I’ve never experienced it before. Sometimes when Natalie is away and it’s just me in the apartment, it’s a guilty pleasure of mine to watch old romcoms, and when the main guy passionately kisses the main girl, there’s always this ache inside of me when I watch such scenes, and a part of me has been curious how it would feel to experience such passion, and now, I am. My sex is damp with heat, and I have only this man to blame. I’ve never felt anything remotely close to what I feel right now, and it’s scaring me just how much I want to walk over to the bed and touch him. I wonder how his muscles would feel under my fingertips.
Well, you are not going to find out tonight, that’s for sure! You don’t even know this man!
“You can grab whatever you need from the closet,” Saint says without looking up, and that’s all I need to snap me out of whatever spell that’s keeping me frozen to the floor.
“Oh, um, thanks.”
I turn around and head toward his closet, the light flickering on as I pull open the door. I run my fingers along the neatly hung shirts and jackets, feeling the textures under my fingers as I search for something to wear. My hand finally settles on a soft t-shirt, and I pull it out. I turn around to make sure Saint is not watching me before bringing the soft material to my nose. It smells like him, his musky scent with a mix of the woodsy aroma of cedar wood. My eyes flutter to a close, and I inhale the scent, feeling the secret spot between my legs throb fiercely with need.
“Jade?”
I turn around, and this time, Saint is watching me. I quickly drop the t-shirt and play it off like I wasn’t just sniffing the man’s clothes, but I’m sure I look like a deer in the headlights. “I was…um…”
“Hey,” he says, concern written in his eyes, but under that, I catch a flash of fire that lights up his eyes and turns them an intense blue. “Are you okay? Do you need help getting something?”
“I…”
“You seem flustered. You don’t have to be scared around me. I want you to know that you are safe with me. In this house. I will not let anyone get close enough to harm you,” he promises.
Why?
There’s that question again. Why does he care? Why is protecting me? Why did he bid on me? Why should I trust him?
Can I trust him?
I want to trust him, and what does that make me if not a fool? I’ve been fooled more than once. I’m about to let it happen again.
My pulse starts racing and my heart drums hard when he gets up and starts walking toward me, those fiery blues on mine as he approaches. I should say something, do something to break this spell I seem to be bound in, but I am helpless to do anything but watch him.
“I…I like this one,” I say in an attempt to break the weird tension building. I reach down to grab the t-shirt I dropped, but that proves to be a terrible mistake as the towel comes undone and my poor attempts to latch onto it only expose more of my naked body to the man. I’m breathing hard, practically panting as he makes his way to me. “Shit, sorry, I…”
Saint stops in front of me, and I forget how to breathe. Those intense eyes trail my body to the towel barely covering my most intimate places, and then back to my eyes. “Fuck,” he hisses, and his fingers curl into a fist as if to stop himself from touching me. “Goddamnit, baby. You’re killing me here, precious,” he curses under his breath.
“Sorry,” I whisper, clenching my fingers around the towel and trying to fix it without flashing more of myself to him. I swallow hard when he takes another step forward until there’s only a hair’s breadth between us. So close I can smell his cologne, and God, do I want to lean in and bury my face in his neck. Drown in his scent until I forget the day and everything that happened, but I can’t do that. I don’t know this man well enough to even try.
“It’s okay, precious. You have nothing to be sorry about.” Saint brings his hand up and brushes the wet hair from my face, forcing my gaze to meet his. “That bastard back at the Den was right about one thing. You are a jewel. A precious little jewel that’s meant to be protected,” he rasps, those eyes locked on mine as he speaks. “It’s not your fault that I want you. That I want to touch every inch of you.” Saint’s words light a fire in my belly, and I can picture him doing just that and more in my mind. Saint kissing me from head to toe, sucking on my aching nipples, burying his face between my thighs until I’m screaming his name the way I’ve read about men doing in old romance novels from the library. And when I’m ready, he’ll sink his cock into my tight core before rutting me fast and hard until I can’t remember my own name—
I blink owlishly at the man, jaw slack as I try to make sure that my mind is not playing tricks on me and that Saint did, in fact, say he wants me. His words do more than just shock me. They make the ache between my legs double in intensity, and my fingers go slack, releasing the towel I was so desperately holding on to.
“I…I’m…”
Saint’s eyes drop to the rest of my body, and I watch fire flash in those blue eyes, burning through my skin as he runs them over my body. “Goddamnit,” he hisses, reaching down and grabbing my towel. I expect him to toss it away and take what I know he’s wanted this entire time, but to my surprise, he drapes it over me, and I can tell he’s using every shred of willpower he can summon to do that. “I’m not going to touch you, Jade. You don’t need to be scared around me. I promised I would not hurt you, and I am nothing if not a man of my word.”
Saint goes to turn around, but I grab his arm before he can, his skin a furnace against mine. “Wait,” I say with a tremble in my voice. “I…maybe… What if I want you to touch me?” I blurt out, my heart nearing beating its way out of my chest when I manage to get the words out.
“Jade—”
“I want to forget.” I tighten my grip on his arm, feeling the strength of his muscles under my fingertips. “Despite the shower, I still feel dirty. I feel…violated by all the filthy looks those men kept tossing my way. There were so many, and I kept shaking at the thought of any one of them touching me.” But then I saw you, and our eyes locked, and everything became static . For a solid minute, as I stood on that stage, I could hear and see nothing but the large man standing at the back of the room. During that minute, I was not scared. “Please help me forget.”
Despite all my reservations, one thing remains true about Saint. He makes me feel safe, but he also makes me forget, and I crave that. Oblivion. Something I believe that only this man can offer me.
I question if I am desperate enough to fall into the arms of a man whose real name I don’t even know just to forget the craziness of the day. But he makes that choice for me. Saint reaches out and wraps his hands around my shoulders, pulling me into his arms and holding me against him. I gasp at the contact, tension blowing off me like steam as I bury my face in his neck, breathing in that strong musky scent that clings to his skin, letting it calm me.
“I’ll kill them,” he growls, and I feel more than hear the words. He is practically vibrating with anger as he hugs me close to him “Limb by limb, I’ll tear them apart for you, precious. Every single man that was in that club will regret every laying eyes on you.”
His threat sounds realistic, but it’s clear that he’s only saying that to make me feel better. I don’t believe anyone in this city is capable of delivering such punishment, but I let his promise—however unrealistic it may be—soothe me.
“I need something different from you,” I whisper into his shoulder. “Touch me. Help me forget.”
He pulls back from the embrace to meet my eyes, and I gasp at the violence written in his. “Jade, you’re not ready for this. Not after what happened tonight,” he says roughly, and Saint looks like he’s seconds away from tearing someone apart, but for some reason, that doesn’t scare me. He’s angry for me, and it has the opposite effect. “I don’t know if I can hold myself back with you. Not tonight.”
“Please,” I plead, pushing at his defenses. “I want it. I need it… Need you.”
His nostrils flare, and I don’t need to look down to tell that he’s aroused. I felt it earlier when he pulled me into his arms, but now, he has a starved look in those blue eyes. “Fuck, baby! I need you to be sure about this,” he says raggedly, his eyes dropping to the towel that’s doing a piss poor job of covering me. “If you let me touch you, I will not stop until I am balls deep inside of you.”
I flush at his crude words, but I refuse to let them scare me. “I want this,” I whisper, and I watch as the last bit of his control snaps.
I see it coming. The kiss . There are plenty of chances to stop it. To place my hands on the man’s chest and shove him away if I don’t want to feel the press of that firm mouth against mine but…I do.
And when he slams his mouth down on mine, I do forget. I forget that tonight I was auctioned and bid on by terrifying men. That my roommate betrayed me and sold me off to be hurt. That there are monsters all around me.
I forget everything but the man kissing me.