Page 21

Chapter 20

On ice

LENNOX

A fter leaving Keenan and Vanessa’s, we drive to the airport and board our plane in silence. I can’t hear her thoughts and it’s killing me. I have no idea how she’s blocking me, but she is. She’s slumped in the seat next to the window on the jet taking us back to New York. Her distant gaze is on the clouds as we pass them by, her jaw moving rhythmically as she chews peppermint gum.

I want to beg her to talk to me, but what’s the point? She knows about the curse, knows that we can’t mate because of it. She understands, so then why the silent treatment?

If only I could calm my bloody wolf so I can think clearly, maybe draw her into conversation, but he’s sad, angry, and frustrated by our mating situation and on top of that, his fear of flying is coming through loud and clear. Every time the plane takes a turn or we hit a pocket of turbulence, his howls fill my mind until I want nothing more than to bash him in the head, even if it means hurting myself in the process.

There’s no calming his instinctual fear of flying and once more I’m reminded of why most shifters don’t do it.

He settles as soon as the plane touches down and slows to a reasonable speed, curling up inside my chest with a disturbed huff and going to sleep, exhausted by nearly six hours of non-stop howling. It never ceases to make me feel like a headcase.

I see a smile split Charlie’s features for the first time since we left L.A. and know she’s listening into my thoughts. “You like that I was forced to listen to him for the entire flight?” I nudge her arm with mine.

Her grin gets bigger and my heart stutters. “You deserve it,” she says.

“Why is that?” I demand, leading the way to the parking garage where Charlie left her truck.

She sobers. “You should’ve been the one to tell me about the curse, not Vanessa, though I’m grateful she did. It helps me understand things a little better.”

“I’m sorry,” I say sincerely. “Part of it was cowardice and the other was the fear that even knowing, you would still want to mate with me. That you wouldn’t take the curse seriously. And that I would be too weak to resist.”

She’s silent for a moment, her brain working. I still can’t see through the fuzzy barrier she seems to have erected in her mind and I’m beginning to suspect it has something to do with my sisters-in-law. Both of them, because Vanessa wouldn’t know anything about shielding unless she’d talked it over with Mags, the interfering witch.

Just when I think Charlie isn’t going to respond, she says in a low voice, “I suppose I probably wouldn’t take the curse seriously if it was just me involved, but I don’t have that luxury, do I? I have to think of Luke, and if there’s even a small possibility that you’re right about this curse – ”

“I am.” The words are grim to my own ears.

“Then I can’t take the risk. Luke needs his mother. He deserves to grow up with at least one of his parents, so gambling with my life is no longer an option.”

I don’t speak because there’s no reason. We find ourselves in an impossible situation. No, not impossible for her. She can go back to her life once we’ve finished our investigation, and I will spend the rest of mine keeping her safe.

We toss our carry-on luggage into the backseat of her truck and climb in. We seem to have reached an understanding.

There is love and passion between us, but it can’t go anywhere. Not with the curse hanging like a sword over our heads. I’m glad Charlie is choosing the safer path.

She stops in front of my apartment building where I collect my bag and step out into a cold New York rain. With regret, I watch her truck as its taillights disappear around the corner. When I get into my apartment, I drop my bag and head up to the rooftop where I shift into my wolf.

It takes me a couple of minutes to catch up to her vehicle, and she’s making the last turn onto her street when I land on the rooftop opposite hers. I watch from above as she climbs out of the truck, reaching into the back for her bag. She flips the hood up on her jacket as she bounds up the stairs of her apartment building.

I leap across to the roof of her building and pad my way down the fire escape until I reach the one outside her window, hunkering down beneath the sill as she greets her son with loving enthusiasm, picking Luke up off the floor in a bear hug.

No, not a bear hug, a wolf hug.

Charlie chats with her parents for several minutes before hugging them goodnight. I watch as they exit the building. Instead of getting into a vehicle, they open an umbrella and stroll leisurely toward their own apartment building two blocks away.

I follow them through the rainy night, knowing Charlie would want them to be safe. I hear her mother’s laughter followed by her father’s deeper chuckles and I’m struck with envy. Their happiness after so many years together is painful to witness when I know I can’t have the same with Charlie.

Maybe I can’t, but someone else can.

As soon as the thought enters my brain, my wolf howls his denial.

Shut up , I tell him. She deserves better than a wolf who can’t give her a future . I hope no one is listening into my thoughts. I don’t need one of my brothers ribbing me because I’m arguing with my wolf.

She’s ours , my wolf says stubbornly.

She is ours to protect only. Otherwise, she belongs to herself and her child.

After making sure Charlie’s parents make it safely home, I bound back through the rainy night to gaze longingly through her window again. She’s safe, I know it, yet I can’t bring myself to leave.

Our bond grew when we had sex and leaving her now would be a kind of torture I’m not prepared to subject myself to.

“Bedtime!” I hear her voice sing out followed by a muffled complaint from Luke. The child does not enjoy bedtime. The night I’d stayed over, he was also difficult to settle.

Charlie handles him with expert ease, promising that if he goes to bed without a fuss, she’ll take him to the zoo tomorrow. I’m surprised by this until I remember tomorrow is Sunday and unlike me, Charlie isn’t married to her job.

I hunker down on the fire escape, listening to the patter of raindrops hitting the metal around me. The rain doesn’t bother my wolf with his thick fur. Occasionally I hear Charlie and Luke’s voices as they go through their bedtime routine, then silence falls as they both settle into their beds.

I close my eyes and match my breathing to Charlie’s, but rather than fall asleep, she rolls restlessly in her bed. I try to dip into her thoughts, but again, they’re fuzzy, as though I’m trying to see them through a veil.

Lennox.

I lift my head, completely alert. She’s removed the veil and is calling to me.

Yes, Charlie?

Come to me , she demands.

You know I can’t . My thought is met with a growl from my wolf who wants to obey her summons.

I want to feel you against me. Just for a moment, so I have the memory when we… when we can no longer…

She doesn’t finish, but she doesn’t need to. Every time I touch you, our bond cements. If we continue down this path, there might be no turning back. I can’t allow you to compromise yourself this way.

My heart is already compromised, she argues.

We can’t , I say simply. I will protect you from this .

She falls silent and I mourn the loss of her voice, though I’m glad she’s choosing the logical path. Every time we see each other, our bond will grow and eventually it’ll drive her insane to be parted from me.

“You think a lot of yourself, don’t you?”

I swing my head around. How had she managed to sneak out onto the fire escape without me noticing?

“Magic,” she says with a smile.

She’s standing next to her bedroom window on the opposite side of the fire escape from me, a thin robe covering her body. The rain drenches her, making the robe cling to her. Her dark hair is plastered to her head.

She makes her way carefully to me, wincing as the metal bites into her bare foot. “Come inside, Lennox.”

I shift to my human and her eyes follow my body upward as I grow instantly taller. “I can’t,” I tell her. I will protect her, even from herself.

Her dark eyes glow with warmth. “I trust you to protect both of us, but I need you. Even if it’s just this one time. Even if we can’t do it again.”

“It’ll make things worse for you.” And for me, but I don’t say it out loud.

“I don’t care,” she whispers, reaching up to touch my face, cupping my cheek, brushing her fingers across the bristles.

I should’ve shaved.

“I like it like this.”

I lift her against me, groaning as she wraps her legs around my hips. Her heat is an inferno that consumes me as soon as it touches me. She drags my head down to hers, touching my forehead with hers. “God help us, Lennox. I need this. We need this. Tomorrow, we can pretend it didn’t happen, but please give us tonight.”

Tomorrow feels an eternity away and the temptation of my mate is too much to resist.

“I’m yours for tonight,” I tell her, then take her lips.

I hold her against me with one arm and tear at her robe with the other, dragging the belt open and yanking the two halves aside. My hand encounters soft fabric. I break our kiss, lean back and look down at her.

She’s wearing a tiny black silk nightie that cups her breasts, lifting them up in a feast for my senses. The fabric, wet from the rain, outlines her peaked nipples. I dip my head, sucking her nipple into my mouth through the silk.

She groans, her hands sliding into my hair, holding me against her.

I slip my hand under her robe where I find no panties to stop my seeking fingers. Digging my fingers into her bare ass cheeks, I lower her to my cock where it strains to meet her slick core.

I gently sheath myself inside her, the silken walls of her pussy holding me captive.

Rain drenches us, furiously beating against my back, obscuring us from any who might happen to look out a window or glance up from the sidewalk. We’re in a private storm made for two.

Charlie grips my shoulders, using her firefighting strength to lift herself before sliding back down. She moans her pleasure as she uses my body, reaching for her orgasm.

The twist of her delicate features, the strain of her muscles, it’s the most erotic thing I’ve witnessed. I drop my head to her shoulder, biting her, forcing her attention to me as I take over, gripping her thighs and lifting her, then forcing her down to the hilt, thrusting up into her over and over.

My balls draw taut and I know I’m close.

I slam my hand into the wall next to her, spraying both of us with water, grunting savagely as I chase her orgasm, pumping my hips faster and faster.

“Touch yourself,” I command, leaning away, giving her room. “Make yourself come.”

She eagerly complies, dipping a hand down her body and yanking her black nighty up her belly. Her fingers dance toward her clit and the moment they make contact, her head falls back and her eyes drift shut, a satisfied smile curving her lips.

“Look at me!”

Her eyes fly open and her body bucks under mine. I feel her knuckles against me as her fingers work her clit, furiously rubbing.

I memorize her face the moment she tips over the edge, her mouth opening in a silent scream, her eyes clouding with a faraway gaze as pleasure slams into her.

“Lennox!” she gasps, flinging her arms around my neck, clinging as she rides out the waves of her orgasm.

I allow my seed to release, revelling in the feeling as it rushes up my cock and spurts into her.

My mate.

We stare at each other for long seconds, out breaths mingling as the high of our orgasms wanes and reality begins to creep in.

She shakes her head hard, her wet hair flying to stick to her face. “Not yet,” she says desperately, dropping her head to my shoulder. “Stay here with me for a while longer. I can’t stand that we…”

“I know,” I whisper in her ear and hold her to my beating heart, knowing this is probably the last time I’ll be allowed to do it.