Page 36

Ready or Not

Mallory

I check my reflection in the mirror above the dresser for the fifteenth time.

“You’re being ridiculous,” I tell myself.

This is Holland. The same Holland who I’ve seen practically every day for the past two years.

I shouldn’t be worried about how I look to him.

Not after he all but told me he was ready to go all in with me.

Yet, here I am. Self-conscious. Afraid he’s going to realize that every one of the other women here is more beautiful than I am.

I glance down at my cropped jeans and platform sneakers.

I’m wearing a fitted black top with a V-neckline.

I’ve got my hair up and dangling earrings in.

They’re bolder than I usually wear, but I’m feeling fancy, so I went for oversized gold hoops.

I’ve also got on my trusty bomber jacket.

It’s black faux leather and makes me feel like I have my life together.

I do have my life together. I smooth back my power ponytail and give myself a pep talk about how I shouldn’t compare myself to others and that I need to be who I’m meant to be and be that well.

Actually, it sounds a lot like my mom’s voice in my head. I blow out a full breath. Okay. I can do this. I’m going to be myself. I’m going to be honest but still keep it vague…at least until Holland and I have some off-camera time.

Oh gosh, that sounds promiscuous. I can’t believe I’m doing this.

“It’s just a date,” I say to my reflection. “Not a blood vow.”

But when was the last time I went on a date ?

A knock sounds on my door. Glancing in the mirror one last time, I move to open it, expecting a camera crew and some of the other women. But there’s no one there. I glance into the empty hallway and frown. I swear I heard a knock.

It sounds again, and I whirl around. It’s coming from the back entrance.

I hurry across the room and swing the door inward. Daisy is standing at the top of the secret staircase.

“Hello, Mallory. May I come in for a moment?”

“Uh, of course.” I peek into the stairway after she shuffles into the room. She’s wearing an oversized hooded sweatshirt and faded blue jeans.

I close the door behind her. “What can I do for you?”

She produces an envelope from her sweatshirt pocket. “I have a special delivery. If anyone asks, I was never here.”

I take the envelope from her, immediately recognizing Holland’s handwriting. I feel my face flush.

Daisy reaches over and pats my shoulder. “Enjoy the rest of your day, dear. Take care of our Holland, alright?”

Before I can say anything, she disappears back out the secret door. I glance at the clock next to my bed. I’m going to be super late, but I can’t help it. I tear into the envelope and find a handwritten note.

Mallory,

I know you’ll get an official date card from MEM , but I wanted you to have one from me personally. I can’t wait to spend time with you today. Thanks for agreeing to give all of this a go. I’ll see you soon.

Holland

P.S. I’m excited to see what romance novel you pick out for me. I haven’t forgotten. Maybe we can read it together?

I pull the note to my heart. Who is this man, and what has he done with the arrogant, annoying Holland I’ve known for the past two years ?

I’m a popsicle in a toddler’s hand on a summer day, melting from the sweetness of it all, and if this is any sign of how he plans to woo me—his word, not mine—I’m going to have to be very careful, or I might fall in love with him on national TV.

I steel myself. I’m going to make the guy work for it. I’m not going to rush into anything. Because it is. Just. One. Date.

But I’m willing to give him a chance.

I head downstairs, and Cece meets me at the bottom of the steps to hook up my mic pack. She gives me a once-over. “Dang, girl. You look good today.”

“Thanks. Sorry I’m late. Are we about ready to get started?”

The anticipation of going on an actual date with Holland is making me queasy.

I want to backpedal. I want to go up to my room and renege on my agreement.

But that would be cowardly, and I won’t let myself be a coward.

I gave him my word, and I owe it to myself to see where my feelings for him lie.

You’re allowed to live out loud. That sounds pretty and all, but it’s terrifying to think about actually putting it into practice.

I’ve spent a long time compartmentalizing, storing up my feelings and reactions and emotions to keep them hidden away so that I didn’t project the wrong image.

Now I’m about to pivot. He knows I’m interested.

I know he’s interested. Our date is going to be filmed for the whole world to see.

If we don’t get this show on the road right now, I’m going to chicken out.

“I think so.” Cece checks her clipboard. “Head on over. Cameras will start rolling, and then Chad will be in to talk about the date.”

I do as I’m told, and Mindy Sue makes an opening for me in the circle.

“Hey, everyone.” I glance around and finally bring my eyes up to meet Holland. He’s looking at me with open admiration, but then he blinks, seeming to check himself.

He clears his throat. “Uh, hey. Hey, Mallory. ”

His cheeks turn a little pink. Okay. He’s officially adorable when he’s not as suave as he usually is.

“Keep chatting, folks. We’re going to start rolling here,” Vivian barks from nearby. “Act natural. Jennah, remember you’re going to ask about the Grand Masters.”

Jennah shoots Vivian a thumbs up, even as Holland winces.

“And rolling!” Vivian calls.

Jennah squeezes Holland’s arm, and I have to fight the urge not to cross the circle and rip her off of him. She’s like a barnacle on an octopus.

“I’m so bummed you didn’t win last weekend, Holland,” Jennah pouts. “But it was so cool to be out there to watch you do your thing. You looked good, real good…even if you kind of blew it.” She giggles.

I realize I’m scowling at her, and I immediately erase my expression.

“It was a neat experience watching you play,” Britt cuts in.

“Thanks,” Holland says, shifting a little. If I’m not mistaken, he’s widening his stance to distance himself from Jennah. I do an internal cheer sequence. “I appreciated you all coming out. A tie for second place isn’t bad…but I wasn’t happy with how I finished the tournament.”

I find myself nodding along with his response. It was polite but honest.

“How was your practice this morning?” Ava asks Holland and then bounces her gaze to me. “Was it good to get back out there?”

I cut Holland a look. He’s staring at me. “You’d have to ask Mallory. She’s in charge.” He offers me a smile and a small nod.

I feel slightly panicky when I remember the events of the morning, but I keep my response as close to true as possible. No one needs to know I’m not talking about golf.

“It started out rough, but we had a strong finish. I don’t want to speak too soon, but things look…promising.” I refuse to look at Holland, because I’m afraid I’ll blush or swoon or appear completely transparent in these newfound feelings for him.

“Agreed,” Holland says.

“Oh! Look who’s here!” Zelda holds up her hand and waves to Chad, who enters from off camera.

“Ladies, Holland. Good afternoon! I hope everyone’s settling back in here in Cashmere Cove.”

We all murmur our yeses.

“Good. Good. It’s time for another one-on-one date. The lucky lady chosen will be leaving with Holland directly from here. Are we ready to find out who she is? Holland, are you excited?”

“I personally cannot wait.” Holland cuts me with a quick look before bouncing his gaze around the circle.

“Mindy Sue, since you had the one-on-one date during Grand Masters week, why don’t you do the honors?” Chad hands Mindy Sue the date card, and she pulls it to her chest, giving it a hug.

“Here we go,” she says as she breaks the seal. Her eyes scan the contents of the card, and I find myself holding my breath, which is stupid because I know my name is on it.

“Mallory,” Mindy Sue reads, her eyes bouncing up and over to me, “let’s go see something beautiful today. Xoxo, Holland.”

She hands me the card, and I thank her.

“Congrats, Mal.” Britt gives me a side hug.

Jennah and Zelda look annoyed.

“I can’t believe she gets to go on a second one-on-one date, and I haven’t even had one!” Jennah mutters but not quietly enough that the mics won’t pick up her comment.

“Agreed,” Zelda whispers back.

I keep my shoulders back and my mask in place.

It’s my default, and this is all sorts of awkward—even more so than my first one-on-one date.

At least then there were more women to act as a buffer.

That, and I didn’t actually care at that point.

Now, though? A twinge of doubt wiggles its way up my spine.

If these women are feeling attached to Holland, is he feeling the same for them?

I blink the thought away. If I’m going to do this, I need to take him at his word and trust what he says. I couldn’t have asked for him to be more direct. I’m not going to get in my head about the other women.

“Well, Mallory, I’m sure you’re excited to spend the day with Holland,” Chad says.

I flick my gaze to Holland, and he’s grinning at me.

“She adores spending time with me. Don’t you, Mal?”

“I mostly just put up with him.”

Chad booms out a laugh, and Holland snickers.

He holds out his hand. “Ready?”

“Or not.” I take a deep breath and slip my fingers through his. This is either going to be a great idea, or I’m throwing everything I’ve worked for out the window. Am I ready? I guess we’ll find out.