Page 12 of Property of Thrasher (Kings of Anarchy MC: South Carolina #1)

“Thank you for your kindness,” I replied honestly. I couldn’t explain the way her words touched me deeply. When did someone other than Lyric lift me up?

My Grans did when we were little. Since her passing, the whole family learned to fall in line with the elders. It was like all our strength died with her.

It was this moment I promised myself I would not be afraid to be me and be strong no matter who came after me. And I would not fear the patch or this life. I wanted to belong here in whatever way that came.

“Do you get tired of it?” I asked her, “the life of a wild man?”

“Sometimes it’s exhausting. But baby when it’s good?” she smiled as if she was lost in a sweet memory, “when it’s good, it’s the best you’ll ever feel. There is no one who can cherish you and embrace you the way a brother in the Kings does.”

I leaned into the counter. “You think it’s worth it? They have women, these club bunnies at their disposal for anything they want. I’ve been told they’re open for it all.”

Faye gave a small shrug. “Won’t lie to you. Depends on the man. Some of them aren’t worth the headache. Some of them are poison covered in leather. But the real ones … worth every scar they leave on your heart.”

Her words sunk in deep. Not that I wanted to be with any of the guys.

I didn’t really know what I wanted, truthfully.

I just knew deep to my soul, I wanted life to go on beyond my past. I hoped in time I could maybe find companionship and love.

But I knew better than to get wrapped up in a fairytale.

I was no princess.

We were quiet for a moment, the hum of the small refrigerator by the counter filling the void between us.

“See you got lost in your past again. Stop looking over your shoulder Melody. No one can touch you here. Whatever it is you and Lyric came from, you’re gonna be fine with us.”

I blinked unsure how to reply. “Is it that obvious?”

She nodded. “Mostly though, I see the bravery. You have a spine of steel. You just need to embrace the woman you are inside.”

“What if I get pulled in and I can’t handle it here?”

“Then you remember this moment right here. The one where this old lady tells you that you belong. You aren’t meant to be someone’s bunny.

You aren’t the kind of woman any man puts in the shadows.

You are beautiful, brilliant, hardworking, and strong.

You just need to see that for yourself. Find your anchor, drop it to the ground, and settle in. ”

I didn’t know why, but her telling me I wasn’t meant to be a bunny felt nice.

I understood why the girls here did it. They were all running from a past too.

They found their place with the Kings. I just couldn’t for the life of me see myself being a puppet to a man’s whims. How was that giving me any different life than I had before?

“Keep your head up. That is the first rule to surviving here. The second rule? Never forget who you are. Not for your past, not for a man, not for a club, and not for anyone. Be okay being you.”

Her words, this conversation calmed me like never before. I could do this. I could figure out exactly who I was meant to be and do it right here in South Carolina.

She gave me a soft smile before heading back to her office.

Eventually the days blurred one into another. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

Lyric disappeared most evenings. Sometimes with Trinity or Tamra.

Other times Maria invited her out. I hadn’t met Maria yet, our shifts never seemed to align.

But Lyric said she was a club bunny too.

She was a little more rough around the edges than the others according to my cousin.

Lyric though, she seemed to want this bunny life because she was with them any chance she got.

I wasn’t sure if she enjoyed it or she was simply clinging to a way to survive.

I never asked where she went. I once heard you shouldn’t ask questions you aren’t prepared for the answer to. I thought this was one of those times where ignorance was bliss.

Feeling stir crazy I went to the laundry room to fold towels. I wasn’t on shift, but there was constantly laundry to do and this would help Lexi who I began to form a genuine friendship with. I needed to busy myself or drown in this place inside my head.

Lexi was there folding which surprised me because she tried to leave before dinner time most days.

I figured I would be here and help her get ahead for tomorrow.

After a quick greeting we folded together quietly and comfortably.

That was the thing with Lexi, she was good with quiet and it wasn’t awkward.

In a bit, she spoke. “You’re not like the rest of us.”

I looked up in a bit of shock. “What do you mean?”

“You think things are still black and white. Sometimes Melody you have to wade into the gray. When that time comes don’t run from it. Embrace the cloudiness.”

I took in her words unsure what to say. Faye just told me everything was black and white with the Kings, now Lexi told me to look for the gray.

After a few minutes, I whispered, “I don’t know how to embrace the gray. Faye said it’s black and white with the Kings. So which is it?”

“The Kings aren’t bad men, Melody. They can be overwhelming.

They can be overbearing. But they protect what matters to them.

This business, their girls, even us bunnies.

They see everything in black and white. But to accept this lifestyle as a female you have to embrace the gray areas.

I don’t know what you’re running from, but you’ll be safe here. Settle in, babe.”

“It’s not what, it’s who,” I shared openly.

“We’re all running from someone, babe. Even some of those skeletons in all our closets tie back to men.

Find your place here. I don’t care where you came from or where you’re thinking about going, the world is a cold, cruel place.

The Kings though, they manage the chaos and follow their own code to the end of time.

You can find warmth in this makeshift family. ”

“I’m not Lyric. I can’t keep my mouth shut and blend in.” I share honestly.

My opinion, my discernment, it all kept me in trouble with the church.

I asked questions without hesitation. Being here, I had tucked myself into a protective shell.

I couldn’t bust out of that into this world without making myself vulnerable.

The stakes with these people seemed to be next level.

If I talked back, didn’t walk the line, I wasn’t sure I would still be breathing when they got done with me.

“Learn your time and place to lash out and when to keep shit inside. You will be safe here. You need to harness the power of your femineity.”

“What!”

She laughed, “to put it directly, Melody. I need you to learn the power of pussy. You can’t control men like these, but you can earn your place.

You spread your legs, let them have a taste of that sweet cunt and they may not bend to your will, but they will keep you safe from whatever you left behind. ”

“You make it sound so easy. My body isn’t something to give away.”

She reached out and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “Honey, the Kings give more than they take. Every single one of them will make sure you get yours before they finish. You are simply trading the gift of that release for a life where you don’t have to look over your shoulder.”

Somehow her words didn’t bring me comfort. Even though I completely understood what she was telling me to do, I didn’t think the life of a club bunny was for me.

“Ask Lyric. It’s working for her. Hell, she’s only been with Tiny and right now, he’s so smitten she isn’t being shared. No one gets to Tiny like that. If her pussy is that tight and good, babe you could rock one of their worlds and who knows, land yourself as an old lady instead of a club whore.”

I opened my mouth and closed it not sure what to say.

“Babe, sex is sex and sex can be awful or it be phenomenal. Don’t get caught up in emotions. That is what fucks people over. Enjoy it for what it is, a damn good time.”