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CHAPTER

TWO

ZOEY

I wish I could say it’s good to see him, but I’m not sure that it is. Everyone in town knew what happened to me since I had to be rushed to the emergency room and police reports were made. Even though I’m an adult now, when I look back, it blows my mind that the actions of someone else were heaped onto my head as though I was the one who was at fault.

“I haven’t run into anyone since moving back home, you’re the first,” I hesitantly admit.

“Why did you leave, Zoey? I looked everywhere for you.” We met when he moved here from West Texas where he was born and raised. He followed his best friend, Riptide, who I never met because we were all about each other and never let anyone else penetrate our bubble. He was nineteen and I was freshly turned sixteen. He and a few of his friends came into town riding motorcycles, causing an uproar. There was something about him that drew me to him and we became close. Kinda. He held a few things back from me, and it caused a few arguments because I was an open book with him—at least I was until that day. After the Halloween party from hell, I closed myself off from everybody and closed in on myself.

“You don’t know?” I ask, confused because everywhere I turned six years ago someone had some sort of snide comment. It was plastered all over Canton Times, seeing as it was the first gang rape reported in years. In this small, hick town, you don’t publicize it when the Onyx Dragons have their initiations. They were small time back then but they had connections in the police department which means things got buried.

“Know what, babe? All I know is that I was on a run for the club and came back in time for us to go on our first date, and you were nowhere to be found and nobody in this fucked up town would tell me where you were.”

“I was home, for a little bit,” I confess. “But I couldn’t face anyone outside of my doctor.”

“Why?” he presses, wrapping his arms around me and burying his nose in my hair. “Tell me why, Zoey.”

“I… I can’t talk about it. At least, not with my baby in hearing range,” I tell him. I’m not ashamed to talk about that night, I have had years under my belt of talking with doctors and therapists about what occurred. But Elodie, she’s innocent and doesn’t need to know that such evil exists in her world. I want her to enjoy as much of her younger years as possible because once she learns of her conception, that innocence will fly out of the window.

“Can we meet up later, Zoey?”

“I don’t know,” I shyly state, “I don’t have anyone to watch Elodie.”

“Not even your folks?” he questions.

“Most certainly not,” I snap, which has him rearing back and looking at me as if I just slapped him. Luckily, I’m saved by my baby girl and don’t have to explain my shift in attitude.

“We’re getting our cookies, Mama,” Elodie says, breaking into the conversation I’m having with Harrison. Or maybe he goes by Indiana now since that’s what I see stitched on his cut.

“Yeah, then we’re heading to the Disney store,” Icer adds. “You two stop looking so damn serious. Sorry, Elodie, for swearing. There’s fun to be had today!”

I see Harrison’s eyes widen at Icer’s words and know there’s a story there but I know if I’m going to stay incognito in town, I need to keep my nose out of it and not be nosey—which for those who know me understand how hard that is for me to accomplish.

We grab our orders from the clerk and follow the two new buddies as they skip through the mall with their arms still swinging between them as they sing Disney tunes. When did this become my life? My baby has made besties with a biker and the boy, who is now a man that I thought I’d spend my life with, has his arm tossed haphazardly over my shoulder. I’m surprised I’m not running from his touch, instead of it initiating fear inside of me, it makes me feel safe and protected.

By the time we’re done at the Disney store, thanks to Icer, my daughter now has princess shirts, several matching tiaras, as well as a stuffed genie to commemorate their impromptu concert. Icer paid for everything, even the outfits I picked out for Elodie, despite my protests. Harrison finally told me to keep quiet and let Icer have his way because it wasn’t something he normally did. I also saw Harrison frequently videoing Icer, so my curiosity is at an all-time high right now.

Just when I think we’re going to part ways so I can finish Elodie’s school shopping, I’m tugged into the Harley store and watch in awe as Icer carries my daughter on his shoulders, pointing out the kids wear section. “Um, Harrison, or Indiana, I don’t think she should have a bunch of leather added to her closet,” I contest. “She’s five, not twenty.”

“You can call me Harrison, unless we’re at a club function, then it’s Indiana. But there’s nothing wrong with a few leather jackets and a few Harley shirts to add to her wardrobe, Zoey. Let us have some fun. Yeah?”

“No,” I say, adamantly shaking my head. “You two have done enough. I appreciate it, don’t get me wrong, but she’s a girly girl, always has been and always will be. She likes dresses, and sparkly things.”

“Look Mama!” Elodie shouts, drawing a crowd. “It has… it has, what’s it called again, Icer?”

“Rhinestones,” he answers her.

Her giggles as Icer holds up sparkly T-shirts and tank tops are music to my ears, despite my reservations as to how this afternoon has panned out. “They’re sparkly and Icer said I can have it!”

“Oh shit,” I mumble, ducking my head. Now that he’s told her it’s hers, if I say otherwise, the entire store will hear my child lose her ever-loving shit and that’s not a pretty picture when she gets going.

“Elodie, baby girl,” I say, stumbling over my words as I scratch my head. “Wouldn’t you rather we go find you those dresses you were wanting?”

“No, I want these. Icer says they’re cool and I want to be cool!” she argues.

I look up at Harrison through my eyelashes, hoping he can read the displeasure without me having to state it out loud. He tucks his lips into his mouth but I can see the mirth dancing in his eyes as he aims his gaze at me. He shrugs his shoulders innocently and tucks me closer into his chest.

“Live a little, darling.” I melt when he uses that voice on me, and that word, darling, used to make my knees weaken whenever he’d say it in his husky tone. Damn him and his panty melting voice.

I try one more time to sway her. “El, you’ll need to wear those with jeans or shorts, sweetie, which means you can’t wear your sandals that we ordered the other day.”

While she’ll wear pants and what-not, it’s usually only at home. School always has her decked out in skirts and tops, or flouncy dresses. The more over-the-top girly it looks, the more she just has to have it . Hell, I can hear her saying it in my head, for crying out loud!

“I can wear these on Fridays, Mama,” she replies. “You ordered me some dresses already, and I’ll just have those for the rest of the week.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal, only I know how my morning child is as opposed to this little girl who’s standing in front of me, grinning.

Morning Elodie is a beast. Even if we put her clothes out the night before so we’re ready to go, she often ends up changing her mind. Multiple times, no less. It’s one of the reasons why we get up two hours ahead of the time when we’re supposed to head out.

“Two, we ordered two,” I reiterate. She sighs and shakes her head at me as if I don’t get it.

“They have skirts over here that are jeweled,” Icer, ever so helpfully, points out. “They’d look rad with those tops and there are jackets in different colors we could get too.” I glance over at Harrison to see what he thinks about all of this and notice him comically mouthing the word ‘rad’ to himself and shaking his head in disbelief.

“See, Mama, we’ve got this,” Elodie apprises, dragging Icer over to help her coordinate the tops, skirts, and jackets.

Harrison starts laughing at the expression on my face, so I turn my ire on him. “You’re not helping the situation, you big dummy!” I whisper-yell as I smack his stomach. Yelping when I’m met with nothing but steel hard abs, I glare at him. “Can’t you do something? Like control him?”

He tries several times to reply but has to keep stopping because he’s laughing so hard. Finally, he puts his hand up, takes a deep breath and says, “The Icer y’all are seeing right now is not the brother I’ve known for years. Trust me on this, he’s a mean motherfucker who barely tolerates the brothers in the club. Strangers are definitely a no-go for him.”

“Then what happened to have him practically prancing around the mall with a little girl?” I stammer as I watch Icer and Elodie add to her clothing stash. “This is absurd, Harrison.”

“He uh… well, we normally slip him something to keep him calm while he’s out amongst society,” Harrison admits. “Not sure what the combo was today, but I’ve honestly never seen him act this way. It’s why I’ve been taking videos because he might not remember.”

“Childish, Harrison. That’s the name for how he’s acting.” I sigh. “But if this is an outlet for him, and he’s acting differently around my daughter, then I’ll cave. A little, but I think we need to wrangle the two of them in.”

“I can try, but like I stated before, this is a different man than the one I know. I’d rather not set him off and acting like his usual self if I can help it. He has some sort of connection with Elodie, look,” he tells me, pointing out the duo. Icer has his eyes narrowed on a kid and her father as they take the last pink leather jacket in Elodie’s size. “We don’t want to unleash the beast, I can promise you that.”

“Oh, holy hell, go get him. Now, Harrison. Go tame that beast while I grab Elodie.” She’s facing off with the little girl while Icer is nose-to-nose with the dad. “Those two may be a bad influence on each other.”

“Oh,” Harrison expresses, pulling me back. “I don’t think I’m Icer’s tamer, that seems to be your little princesses job. Watch.” Glancing over, I notice Elodie grabbing Icer’s hand and looking up at him the way I look at her when I’m trying to wrench her away from whatever has her tensing up. She’s redirecting him the way I do her by pointing out something different.

“Can we hire her?” Harrison asks. “We can pay, as a matter of fact, I’ll put her on salary.”

“As what? A lion tamer?” I ask, huffing.

“More or less,” he answers, slanting his head sideways as we catch the two jumping up and down when they find the same jacket they were squaring off with the father and daughter hidden behind a stack of shirts.

“Look, Indiana. We found one, someone tried to hide it so they could come back later and grab it,” Icer informs me.

Indiana sticks both thumbs up in the air and says, “That’s great, man.”

“See, perseverance pays off,” Icer schools Elodie. My jaw drops to my chest plate as he educates her on patience—to which he has none, and how you should never give up on what you want.

“How much child support do you want?” Harrison suddenly asks.

“Excuse me?” I inquire, not sure if I understood him correctly.

“I’m going to need visitation rights, Zoey. Icer will never let that girl out of his sight now that he’s bonded with her. She has a new uncle which means she's now officially a club princess. I’m going to claim her as mine.”

I stagger back from him, and when his arms fall from my shoulders I feel bereft, but that’s not something I can worry about right now. This man, the one who completely owned me heart and soul when I was a teenager, just insinuated that he’s ‘claiming’ my daughter. What does that even mean?

“Explain that,” I demand, crossing my arms over my chest, yet keeping a keen eye on my daughter as she and Icer find biker boots and she starts trying them on. I realize that Icer has found the girly-girl version because the ones my daughter is currently sliding on have sparkles running up the sides. There’s no doubt they’re biker boots at all, but they’ve been made to appeal to those who embrace their femininity, which my daughter wholeheartedly does.

“This is not what I expected when I woke up this morning,” I mewl, shaking my head.

“I’m not sure what you’ve been running from, Zoey, and you may not have anticipated this becoming your life when you walked out your front door this morning, but babe, trust me, your life just got so much better.”

“Kinda full of yourself, aren’t you?” I taunt.

“That’s not what I’m full of, and one day, when you’re ready and we’ve bared our skeletons to each other, you’ll find out.”

“Is that a threat, Harrison?”

“No, baby. That’s a promise.”

I don’t want to bare any skeletons. To him or anyone else. The therapists and my doctors know, of course, but he was my heart and soul before that shitstorm happened. How do I tell him that everything was ripped from me that horrible night? That Elodie is a product of the rape I endured? I can’t. I can’t see his face fall in disappointment or watch him walk away from me. I know I was the one who ran before, but once he knows the reason why, he may never look at me the same way again and I don’t want my old memories of us ruined. It’s one of the two reasons I stayed alive. Elodie was the other.