Page 100 of Priestly Sins

“Same. Better knowing that Clara is okay and we’re safe.”

“How’re you, lad?”

“Holding it together.”

“I cleaned up. I did what I could. Your kitchen smells like bleach and you need a new mop. Yours got burnt. Oh, and I have Hagrid for the night.”

“I owe you.”

“You owe nothing of the sort. Family, remember?”

“Love you, Killian.”

“Aye.”

A click says the call has been disconnected.

I walk back into Sirona’s room from her en suite bathroom where I took the call to avoid waking Clara. I lift my chin toward Clara. “She out?”

Sirona nods and pats the bed by her side. She winces when she does because she used her left hand.

“You need something for pain?”

She shakes her head. “Not yet. I’ve been waiting to say this. I’m sorry.”

“You already said that.”

“Sean. I need you to accept my apology. You’ve never been anything but honest with me. I owe you this.”

“Owe me what, love?”

“My mom.” She pauses and stares away, seemingly looking into the past. “My mom wasn’t killed because of you.”

I quickly look to Sirona, relieved she doesn’t see me as a monster.

“Baby…” I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to rehash this. Don’t want to lose her.

I’m angry and I’m relieved. I want to scream and I want to hope again. I didn’t hurt her, but my father did, a-fucking-gain, and that feeling simmers in me that I thought died with the man himself.

“Sean? Basically, it was all my dad’s fault. The debt, the shop, Enzo’s involvement, Rocco, Mom. All of it. Gambling debt gone wrong and he made a mess of everything. I’m mad — mad as hell at my dad — and I still miss him. Even if he was trying to make it right, I’m pissed as hell that his bad decisions fell on me and Clara and my dream of Petites Fleurs. I’m livid that his selfishness took my mom away from me. And I’m enraged that all of that led that man to our doorstep where our family should be safe, where Clara should never worry. To where it was him or me.”

“Baby—”

“Need to finish this, Sean.”

I nod and wait, holding her eyes.

“I’m so mad, but I forgive him. It doesn’t make sense and I think it’s reasonable if I never fully understand, but I still forgive him. I can’t live with the anger and bitterness that fuel some people. Can’t be hell-bent on vengeance my whole life for wrongs my dad didn’t mean to inflict.”

“Okay, baby. I’ve always seen your heart, but this…” I trail off, lost in her words, lost in memories.

“You’re missing it,” she says and waits until my eyes meet her again. “If I can forgive him for all of that, I can forgive you for none of that.”

I tilt my head, questioning.

“None of this was your fault. Yet, time and time again you’ve moved to save me, protect me, to fall on the sword for our family, for Clara. You are everything your father could never have been.”

I look her in the eyes and lay all my cards on the table.