Page 61 of Pretty Ruthless Monsters: Complete Series

“Anyway,” I say after a while, forcing myself to focus. “I’m going to see what I can dig up about this Silas guy, if anything. We need to make a move before he can take out more of our people.”

If Nico is surprised by the abrupt change in topic, he doesn’t say so, and I don’t look at him to see what expression is on his face.

“Sure,” he says easily. “Let me know if you find anything useful.”

Before I can respond, he raps his knuckles on the desk once and then strides out of the room, leaving me in peace to get back to work.

I work until late into the evening, not stopping until the throbbing in my head and the ache in my back and shoulders remind me that I haven’t moved for several hours. I was so determined not to stop until I found something useable, but that was definitely easier said than done.

When I stand up, I have to stretch out the soreness, and it hits me how tired I am. It’s been a long day, and I drag myself up to bed and crawl under the covers, ready to pass out.

But unfortunately, even being as tired as I am doesn’t stop my brain from conjuring up a nightmare while I try to sleep.

I’m on that same street corner again, with the flashing stop light. I try to run away from the five men that loom up out of the shadows, but there’s too many of them. They cut me off at every turn, grabbing at me with strong grips that I can’t break.

Every time I manage to get away from one of them, two more show up, backing me into a corner, keeping me surrounded. I fight like hell, kicking and clawing, struggling and bucking against their hold on me, but it’s not enough. Nothing I do is enough.

They drag me into that alley and push me down to the ground, and all I can see is the flashing red light, blinking on and off incessantly as they take what they want.

My eyes snap open, and I wake up drenched in sweat. I surge up into a seated position on the bed, a strangled cry dying in my throat and my entire body tense and ready to fight.

“Fuck,” I pant hoarsely as I start to come more fully awake.

My heart pounds hard enough that I can feel it shaking my ribs, and it takes several seconds for me to catch my breath enough that I’m not heaving and gasping for air.

It’s still dark in my room, and the silence and emptiness of the space feels oppressive all of a sudden.

I’m by myself in my bed, but although I used to find some comfort in waking up and realizing there was no one around, right now, it doesn’t feel good. It feels achingly lonely, and more than anything, I want to not be alone.

Without stopping to think about it or question it too much, I slip out of bed and open the door, tiptoeing down the hall.

I hesitate for only a second outside of Killian’s room, then turn the nob, testing it.

It’s unlocked, unlike Nico’s was that first night, and I wonder fleetingly if Killian has ever locked his door in this house. Then I push it open and step inside.

If he was asleep before, he definitely isn’t now. Although the door hinges don’t make a sound, Killian lifts his head to look at me standing in the doorway, his eyes glittering in the darkness.

I have no idea what to say to him, but luckily, he doesn’t make me say anything. He takes one look at me and then lifts the blankets in a silent invitation for me to crawl in with him.

I don’t need to be invited twice. I climb onto his bed and settle under the blankets, facing away from him. One of his strong arms wraps around me, and he pulls me tight against his chest, my back to his front.

It’s not surprising that he’s warm and solid like this, considering his size, but I never thought that I would be taking comfort in it. That having him holding me this way would release some of the tension that’s been riding me all night.

“Nightmare?” he murmurs, his voice a deep rumble in the darkness.

“Yeah,” I whisper back. “How did you know?”

“I have them too.”

I bite my lip, surprised. Killian is the sort of man who gives other people nightmares. I never stopped to consider if he had them himself.

“It was… I was back in that alley,” I tell him quietly, not going into detail. I don’t have it in me to be more specific right now, and I know he’ll understand. “It’s not a new nightmare, but I thought that maybe I’d stop dreaming about it now that those men are dead.”

I feel Killian take a deep breath behind me, his muscled chest pressing tighter to my back as it expands. When he speaks again, his voice is low and solemn.

“Our demons take longer to die than the people who wronged us.”

There’s weight in those words, born from what I have no doubt was some painful experience. Despite the fact that I know Killian in deeper and more intimate ways than I was aware of for a long time, he’s still a mystery in so many ways, and I have to wonder what demons are still alive in him.

With his strong arm around me, I feel oddly safer all the same. This is the man who hunted down the men who hurt me, who brought me back a trophy just so I would know that they suffered for what they did.

He’s dangerous… but maybe not to me.

Maybe he’s just the kind of nightmare I need .

That thought is enough to help me fall back to sleep.