Page 46 of Pretty Lies (Watch Me Burn #1)

“No, Caden. She’s not okay. I think I’ve convinced her to stay, so leave her be until she wants to speak to you.

Sorry won’t fix it, I can tell you that much.

I love you, but what you did was really stupid.

Don’t stay up late unless it’s to think about your actions,” she scolded, leaving us alone again as she closed the door quietly.

Caden sat on the edge of the bed with defeat, and I could tell he wanted to be left alone.

“I might go to bed,” I mumbled, and Lukas nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, me too.”

Tyler didn’t move, so we left him with Caden and walked along the hall to the bedrooms we’d claimed as ours forever ago, pausing as I stepped into my room.

Lukas was taking his time getting to his door, and I knew he was struggling with more than just Rory.

Knowing Tristan had raped her more than once was killing him, but his mother had also been blowing up his phone all day too, stressing him out for no reason.

“Hey. You want to crash with me?” I offered, knowing how much he hated being alone when his mind wandered too much.

He didn’t speak as he joined me in my room, both of us stripping down to our boxers and climbing into bed once the lights were off, and it took a while for him to say anything as we laid there in the dark.

“I should’ve done something. I thought turning a blind eye was helping her, but Tristan?—”

“It’s not your fault, Luke. You were a kid having to make a choice that an adult shouldn’t even have to make.

Tristan and Max would’ve gotten away with it regardless,” I replied gently, wishing I could see his face.

I hated it when he got stuck in his own head like this, blaming himself for the actions of others.

“I could’ve stopped it from happening again.”

“No, you couldn’t. Tristan wouldn’t have gotten locked up, he’s too connected to people, and he probably would’ve just taken it out on Rory. Max would’ve happily let him take Rory away to do whatever he wanted.”

“Mom’s mad that I didn’t come home tonight.

She’d made dinner plans with your dad’s business partner and wanted me to meet him.

Claims she wants to see me finding interests in business, but I think she’s just screwing him and wants to see if I’ll let him play daddy,” he snorted, rolling over to face me.

“Do you ever wish that you’d been born into another family? Or that you just weren’t here at all?”

Alarm bells rang in my head as I rolled over too, my eyes adjusting to the dark as I vaguely made out his figure.

“My bio parents suck, but the family that matters to me is in this house. Josie is the mom I never had, and you guys mean more to me than any blood relative ever could. I like the life I have. For your sake, I hope you can let your mom go. You’re an adult, and she’s toxic.

You can do whatever you want with your life, and you’ll always have us by your side, I promise.

I need you here, so you’d better not go anywhere. ”

“I can’t take much more,” he whispered, and I didn’t give a fuck about making him uncomfortable as I shuffled closer and crushed him in a hug, not letting him escape my hold as he struggled.

“You’re not going anywhere,” I said firmly, my worry for him getting worse by the second. “Fuck your mom, and fuck everything else. You have me, and you have the guys. Josie loves you, and even though things are shit with Rory right now, you have her too.”

“Get off me, dude.”

“No. Shut up and let me fix it,” I ordered, his body going limp against mine as he finally slid an arm around me and accepted my comfort. “I love you. Lean on me, and I’ll help you.”

Lukas

I was such a fucking baby. Jensen had been my safe place since we first became friends, the person I could turn to about anything without judgment, and now I was snuggled up to him like an idiot and on the verge of crying.

My heart beat faster as his arms relaxed around me and his fingers traced slow circles against my bare back, attempting to soothe me as if I was seconds away from jumping out of the top floor window.

I wasn’t, but I was wondering how long it would be until I reached that point.

I didn’t want to die, I just wanted my head to be silent.

“I love you too,” I mumbled into his chest, thankful the lights were off so he couldn’t see my heated cheeks. I was enjoying his touch way too much, my mother’s words of hate screaming in my head. Jensen was just my friend, I had to keep reminding myself of that.

I lifted my head, just managing to make out his face in the dark. “I’m okay. I’m just feeling overwhelmed, I think.”

His hand moved to my hair, combing through it gently. “It’s okay to not be okay, Luke. It’s not okay to drown in it alone though. Always talk to me so we can work through it together.”

I had no idea what I was thinking, but I found myself leaning into him, my lips finding his in the dark as his hand stilled in my hair.

He kissed me back slowly, his fingers tightening in my hair after a second as he leaned into the kiss more, and then it registered in my mind what we were doing and that my dick was as hard as a rock against him.

I jerked back so quickly that I almost fell out of the bed, panic consuming me as I put space between us. I wasn’t into guys, I couldn’t be.

“Luke—” Jensen said carefully, but I cut him off as I flung the blanket back and got out of bed.

“I’m sorry, fuck. I don’t know what I was thinking,” I choked out, trying to find my pants and shirt in the dark.

“It’s okay. Don’t leave, you’re just emotional and it happened. Get back in bed.” He didn’t even sound pissed at me.

“I can’t.”

“You can. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. There’s nothing wrong with you. I kissed you back,” he exclaimed, my heart beating faster. He had kissed me back, but that made it so much worse.

“It’s wrong,” I hissed, finally finding my pants and shoving my legs into them, tensing as I heard him get out of bed and walk towards me.

“It’s not. Your mother’s a homophobic bitch, but her word isn’t law. Who cares what she thinks? Let’s talk about it, okay?”

“I care!” I snapped, moving back before he could touch me. “Don’t fucking touch me, asshole. I’m going to my own room. Leave me alone.”

He put his hands up to show he wouldn’t touch me, and I gave up looking for my shirt as I flung open the door, almost running into Tyler, who was heading to his room too.

I shoved past him and locked myself in my room, tears burning my eyes as I sat on the floor with my back pressed against the door.

There was definitely something wrong with me.

Tyler

Lukas’ door slammed, and I winced, glancing at Jensen in the dark room. It was obvious they’d been in bed together, but that wasn’t unusual. I crashed with Caden sometimes too when I didn’t want to be alone. Trauma from being abandoned by our parents, most likely.

Caden was fine, but he’d been raised by a loving mom, so he didn’t think it was weird when I needed company.

“What the hell happened?” I asked, and Jensen sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

“It’s complicated.”

“Is he okay?” Lukas had been down a dark road before, and we tried to keep an eye out for signs that he was struggling, but Jensen always noticed long before Caden and I. He spent a lot of time with Lukas, so he was better at noticing things.

“I don’t think so. I’ve got it handled.”

“Apparently you don’t,” I mumbled, his eyes narrowing on me.

“He’s just overwhelmed, it’s been a long ass day. Leave him alone.”

“He’s not going to slit his wrists again, is he?”

My question was valid. He’d cut himself badly once before and ended up in the emergency room, all thanks to his mother.

I loved Lukas, he was like a brother to me, but if Jensen was going to coddle him like he always did, then I needed to step in and be the firm person. I didn’t care if I was invading Lukas’ privacy, I wasn’t going to risk him hurting himself.

“Leave. Him. Alone,” Jensen bit out, and I scowled.

“I’m not going to bother him, I was just asking. He’s my friend too, you know. I give a shit about him just as much as you do.”

“Go to bed,” he grunted before walking towards the door and closing it in my face, leaving me in the hallway alone. I intended on going to bed, but now he had me worried.

I walked up to Lukas’ door and knocked, my voice firm. “Luke, open the door.”

“Fuck off.” His voice was weird. Angry, but exhausted.

“If I have to be the asshole, so be it. I’ll kick it down, dude.”

He was silent for a minute, and just before I was going to break the damn thing down, the lock clicked and he opened it.

“I’m fine. See?”

I ignored him, pushing my way past him and into the room.

“I’m being a dick, but it’s because I care.

Do I need to worry about you? If you need company, I’ll stay in here with you.

Whatever you and Jense are fighting about has nothing to do with me, and you don’t have to tell me, but the last time you were on the edge of the cliff, you jumped off it,” I said in a low voice, making him scowl.

“You’re worried I’ll kill myself over Rory?”

“No. I’m worried you’ll do something stupid because you’re not thinking clearly. Get in bed, I’ll crash on the couch. No talking, just company. Okay?”

I expected him to argue more, but he simply nodded and locked the door again, making me worry more.

Lukas was sinking, and he needed us to keep him afloat long enough for him to get his shit together.

All the bedrooms here had couches and TVs, so I flicked the TV on and turned the volume down so Lukas couldn’t get lost in the silence.

I grabbed a blanket out of the closet and got comfortable on the couch with a pillow, waiting until Lukas’ breathing had slowed and he’d fallen asleep before I let myself fall asleep too.