Page 15 of Pretty Broken Doll

Ryann

I ’m drowning in smoke, the heat pressing in on me from all sides, suffocating. Flames lick at the walls, devouring everything in their path. I hear my mother’s voice calling out for me, but I can’t find her. I’m running, searching, but the fire is everywhere, closing in, choking the air from my lungs.

“Mom!” I scream, my voice breaking. “Mom, where are you?”

But there’s no answer. Just the roar of the fire and my heart pounding in my ears. I’m too late. I’m always too late.

“No, I gasp, the word tearing from my throat. “No, please—“

A hand grabs my shoulder, shaking me, and suddenly the fire is gone. My eyes snap open, and I’m not in the house anymore. I’m in my bed, the sheets tangled around me, drenched in sweat. My chest is heaving, my heart racing, and it takes a moment for me to realize where I am.

“Ry?” Shilo says softly, his hand still on my shoulder. “I think you’re having a bad dream. It’s okay, you’re safe.”

Safe. The word barely registers as I struggle to catch my breath, my mind still trapped in the nightmare.

“It was the fire,” I manage to choke out. The admission slips from my tongue before I can stop it, and I hate how weak it makes me feel. But Shilo doesn’t flinch. Instead, he shifts closer, wrapping his arms around me. I don’t resist—I can’t. I bury my face in his shoulder, my whole body trembling as the memories flood back, relentless. “My mother, she…she didn’t make it.”

She never makes it.

His fingers thread through my hair, grounding me with gentle touches as he holds me until the shaking subsides. “It’s okay, everything’s alright.”

But it isn’t. The guilt twists inside me, sharp and unforgiving. It’s been months since I’ve had the dream, but every time I do, it’s ten times worse than the last. Clearly, I’m due for some form of physical release. I only dream when I’m wound too tight. Apparently, my grueling workout at the gym earlier wasn’t enough.

Gradually, the tension in my body starts to ease, the tremors subsiding, but I still feel restless. Ill-at-ease. I can tell that Shilo is awake by the uneven rhythm of his breathing, and I finally pull back to gaze down into his eyes, brows pinched with concern.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah.” Clearing his throat, he licks his lips, searching my face. “I mean, you’re welcome. Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

The word hangs heavy between us, harsher than I meant it, and his face falls slightly. “Okay.”

He tries to pull away, but I hang onto him tighter, suddenly desperate to forget about the weight of the past threatening to pull me back under, to forget about the loneliness I’ve been drowning under for weeks. God, I’ve missed him. I’ve tried to keep my distance, give him space, but when I saw him sitting on some broad-shouldered stud across the gym, I’d seen red. And then tonight, bringing him home with me, I tried to keep things professional for his sake. All of that went out the window the moment he begged me to make him come. He’s all I’ve thought about since Thanksgiving, dammit.

Pressing my mouth to his throat, I feel his surprised squeak vibrate against my lips as I take his supple skin in between my teeth.

“Oh,” he breathes softly, gripping my hair to keep me latched on, and I chuckle, sucking marks into his flesh.

With a quick roll of our bodies, I pin him beneath me, kissing and nipping until I make my way down his shirt—or, my shirt, as he stated—still covered with his earlier release. That gorgeous cock of his is hard again, straining in his sweats when I rub my stubbled cheek over his inner thigh. He palms himself, watching me with hooded eyes, and I caress down his legs until I have his bare feet in my grip.

“I’ve been fantasizing about this,” I growl, planting a kiss on the sole of his foot before sucking his toes into my mouth.

He coughs in disbelief, lips hanging open and cheeks flushed, a wet spot forming on his crotch as his dick leaks for me. “W-what are you doing?!”

A deep groan is my only response, picking up his other foot to do the same, and my little doll shudders as he squeezes the base of his shaft.

“That would be the weirdest thing to come from,“ he complains, yanking his foot away, and I grin as I crawl up his body.

“It’s okay to like it, baby. I won’t tell anyone.” Diving for his mouth, I press my cock against him before curling my fingers under the waistband of his sweats. “Can I take these off?”

“ Please,” he nods earnestly, practically ripping them from his body to free his dick, and a chuckle escapes me at his impatience. My horny doll needs to come again.

A glance at the clock tells me I have exactly four hours before I have to be up for work. Probably earlier if I plan on having Declan help change Shilo’s tire. There’s no way I’ll sleep again with the dream weighing heavily on my mind, at least not unless I come as well, but I shake those thoughts away as I envelop Shilo’s length in my mouth.

He cries out, bucking his hips and hitting my throat, a spurt of precum layering my tongue. So fucking delicious. Sucking cock has never been my favorite—I’d much rather be the one on the receiving end—but Shilo’s every reaction has me damn near addicted. His breathy moans, soft whimpers, fingers flexing on the sheets like he doesn’t know where to put his hands. And I take my time with it, too, lazily licking at his shaft, pulling those sounds from him that have me aching and heavy. Much better than the quick blowjobs I gave him in my office.

Spit drips down over his sack, pooling in his hole, and I gently suck one of his smooth balls into my mouth, reveling in the way he clutches my shoulders tightly.

“Oh god, Ryann, that…I like that.”

He gasps when I hum, the slight noise vibrating his sack before I give the other ball a turn, loving the fact that no one’s ever done this to him before. No one but me.

“Lift your legs, doll.” Helping him bend his knees to his chest, I groan at the sight of his pink pucker on display, wet and inviting. Holding Shilo’s widened gaze, I slowly lower myself down, flicking my tongue out to lap at his hole, causing him to jolt and squeak in surprise. His flushed cheeks become darker, pupils swallowing the blue in his eyes as his head falls back against the pillow, throat working around a whimper.

“Feel good?”

He can only stammer in response as he pushes his ass against my face, and I use my thumbs to spread him wider. He tastes so sweet, so uniquely Shilo. I fuck his hole with my tongue until he starts to shake, a sure sign that he’s about to come.

“H-hey, wait,” he protests when I pull away, his chest heaving.

Smirking darkly, I grab onto his jaw. “Open up, baby. Stick out your tongue.”

Doing as he’s told, his lips part, allowing me to let a string of spit drip into his mouth.

“Swallow. See how good you taste.”

“Mmm.” His eyes roll back when he follows my command, and I nearly come from the sight. I need to be inside of him now.

Reaching into the nightstand, I kiss him deeply as I dig around for supplies, breaking away with a frown when I find only lube. Shit.

“I don’t have any condoms,” I murmur, and Shilo freezes, expression flattening.

Oh, no. I don’t like that.

“Can I fuck you, baby doll?” Nuzzling his neck, I kiss my way up his face, nipping at his earlobe. “We can do it just like this. I’ll hold you and go slow, I promise.”

“B-but what about condoms?” He rasps, squirming when I lick inside his ear.

“I’m on PrEP, and I got tested before you were hired. All clear.” Pulling back, I gaze down at him with a lifted brow. “And I’m assuming you are as well unless there’s been someone else other than me…?”

He blinks, purple strands sticking to his forehead with sweat. “No. Only you.”

The tension in my shoulders melts away as relief washes over me. It shouldn’t. He’s young—he should be out experiencing life with people his own age, like Carpenter, but I don’t want him to. The thought of anyone else touching him drives me fucking mad.

“What do you say?” I kiss him gently, grinding my hips against his.

A flicker of uncertainty crosses his features, but he licks his lips and nods slowly. “Yeah. Yes.”

“Shilo.” Holding his face between my palms, I gaze intently into his eyes. “Don’t say yes if you aren’t sure. I’d never want you to feel like you can’t say no.”

Surprisingly, he scoffs, wrapping his legs around my waist. “I’m sure. Please, I…I want it.”

We stare at each other for a few moments, and when I see nothing but resolve reflected back at me, I give him another kiss before shucking off my underwear, heart thudding in my chest. “Let me get you ready.”

His hole is already softened from the way I devoured it, but he’s still far too tight to take me. Using the bottle of warming lube, I work him open with my fingers, backing off his prostate every time he nears the edge of orgasm. I’m so hard it’s painful, and by the time he’s prepped enough, I almost sob with relief when my cock breaches that first ring of muscle. With a pop, his body sucks me in, velvet heat surrounding my length and squeezing it tight. My instincts scream at me to go hard, to pound into him until I’m spilling my load, but I promised him I’d take it slow, so I do just that.

Pressing him into the mattress, my arms hold him steady as I work myself inside him little by little. He’s pliant beneath me, our tongues gliding lazily, and he moans into my mouth once I’m seated to the hilt.

“So full,” he whimpers, fingers dancing down my spine as I pull out before gently thrusting back in.

Fuck, he feels too good. His thighs squeeze me tightly, hips meeting my rhythm, and my self-control hangs by a thread. I can’t take my eyes off his face, all the emotions crossing his features like an open book, the feel of his breath on my cheek. His reactions tell me what he likes and what he doesn’t, his lashes fluttering when I hit his prostate just right, my name on his lips. I’ve never fucked anyone face-to-face before, and the more I watch him, the more I understand why. It’s intoxicating.

“Right there,” he cries out, nails digging into my skin, the sting making me shudder as I feel my cock begin to pulse. “God, there, Ry. Don’t stop.”

Reaching between us, I jerk his length, needing him to come before I do. His teeth find his bottom lip as he trembles, and I take it between my own when he erupts in my hand for the second time tonight. As his hole clenches around me, I follow close behind, painting his walls with my cum, pumping him full.

Once we’re both spent, I collapse on top of him, my hips still moving slowly even though my balls are drained, but I don’t want to pull out yet. He feels so soft, so right. So…mine.

Eventually, though, my over-sensitive cock starts to protest. Leaning back on my knees, I watch myself slip out of his body as my release drips from his hole. On instinct, I reach out to push it back in with my fingers, causing Shilo to flinch.

“Sorry,” I murmur, realizing he’s probably tender, but I’m mesmerized by the sticky mess trying to escape. The thought of my cum inside him, marking him, has my dick trying to rally for round two. This is definitely something I could get used to.

Immediately, my brain has a steel door slamming shut over those thoughts, souring my mood.

I don’t get attached. I don’t sleep in bed with my hookups, and I definitely don’t fantasize about fucking them before work so that my cum leaks out of their ass all day.

This is just a one-off. The dream muddled my senses, that’s all. I’ll be back to normal in the morning.

Shilo watches me as I get off the bed, heading for the bathroom to dampen a cloth. When I return, his brows are pinched with worry, but I say nothing as I quickly clean us up. He finally breaks the silence after I’ve grabbed a fresh shirt from my closet.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch now?”

His voice sounds so small and defeated. I hate it. I hate that I’ve made him feel this way.

“No.” Tossing him the shirt, I turn my back and sit on the edge of the bed. “That shirt is now a bio-hazard. Switch it out so we can sleep.”

Much to my relief, he snorts, throwing the soiled shirt on the floor before nestling under into the sheets. “I like wearing your clothes. They smell nice.”

“Don’t get used to it. I’m taking my shirt back in the morning.”

He hums contentedly, curling on his side, and I watch him for a few minutes, battling demons in my head.

I want to slide in behind him, curve my body around his, and press my face to his hair. Place my palm on his chest and sleep to the steady beat of his heart. But instead, I climb beneath the covers and face the windows, leaving my arms empty.

I can’t want. There’s no place in my life for such things, I don’t deserve it. Not after what I’ve done. There’s only CalTek.

Warmth suddenly blooms on my back as Shilo once again lays against me. His arm slips around my waist, pressing his face into my skin. Making me the little spoon.

“What’s your mom’s name?”

Stiffening briefly, I force myself to relax. “Ava.”

Holding my breath, I wait for him to launch into questions I’m not ready to answer, but instead, a yawn is his only response.

“Night, Ryann,” he mumbles, caressing my abs, and I can’t help the laugh of disbelief that leaves my throat.

He’s so sweet. So good. My mere existence sullies him.

“Good night, Shilo.”

I promised myself years ago that I’d never let anyone close, and now I’m practically letting someone under my skin. It’s too much. These feelings burning in my chest are too much.

Now that he's in, though, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get him out. It’s terrifying.

As his quiet snores fill the silence, soft hair tickling my shoulder, I fall deeper into this pit until only one thing becomes abundantly clear.

I know what I have to do.