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"Relationships are not always easy, but they shouldn’t be this hard either."

Beth Bowen

I put down my phone with a sigh and join Marissa back behind the counter just as a customer is leaving.

“Are you okay?” she asks, her blue eyes brimming with concern.

I nod, reapplying a coat of Lip Smacker. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that.”

“ You don’t look fine, Beth.” She heaves a deep sigh. “I say this as a friend, but you really should end this vicious circle with Lucas. He’s not good for you.”

I turn my face away to hide my glassy eyes.

I really thought Lucas and I were doing better this summer, but now that fall—and hockey season—has come again, Lucas’ demons are rearing their ugly heads.

Blowing me off, lying about what he’s doing, and relegating me to the bottom of his priority list. I get how important hockey is for him.

It’s his career, his life, but I can’t help but feel like I’m always being tossed in the backseat, an afterthought.

I hoped moving in with him last year would help us spend more time together whenever he’s not traveling for road games, but even at home, hockey is his everything.

“You're in an enemies-to-lovers relationship with the wrong guy. You know that, right?” she says, dragging a small smile out of me.

Yeah, Marissa is a big romance reader, and she mostly discusses relationships in terms of tropes. But after ten years of friendship, I'm used to it.

“It’s not that easy,” I say, biting my bottom lip.

Actually, I’ve broken up with Lucas countless times before, but we always end up back together.

I always forgive him, because isn’t it what you’re supposed to do?

Relationships require work, commitment, and sacrifices.

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies.

My parents are a prime example of that. They’ve been through a lot.

They’ve fought and made up, and it’s only made their marriage stronger.

“Look,” she says quietly, a hand on my shoulder. “I know it’s hard. Leaving him for good is a big decision, but look at me and Aaron. Remember how scared I was to make that choice? Now, I’m happy. And you deserve that too, but I don’t think Lucas is the guy for you.”

I nod. She might be right, but how can I know for sure? What if I end things with Lucas, and I miss out on the best relationship of my life?

“I won’t bug you about it anymore,” Marissa says.

“You know I’ve got your back, whatever you decide.

But as your friend, I can’t pretend I’m not concerned.

I've been seeing a lot of tears lately, and I don't like it. Just remember that there’s a bedroom with your name on it at our place, if you need it.”

She opens her arms, and I fall into her embrace, her amber perfume reassuring me. “Thank you. I really appreciate you.”

“Of course. I’m your girl,” she says, flashing me her perfect smile.

A customer strides in, and I take care of his order while Marissa puts another batch of blueberry muffins in the oven.

“James looked handsome today, b y the way,” she says as soon as the customer leaves, and I almost drop the mug I’m holding.

Objectively speaking, I guess he was. Not that he’s ever anything but handsome, with his deep cobalt blue eyes, charming smile, and hair freshly cut, but even if I weren’t dating Lucas, I’m still not interested. James is the ultimate player. Flirting is his middle name.

“Huh?” I ask, pretending I didn’t hear her over the sound of the coffee grinder.

“James. He looked handsome this morning. I think he just cut his hair yesterday,” she says, coming back behind the counter, her strawberry blonde hair floating behind her.

I furrow my eyebrows in mock scorn. “You’re a married woman!”

“What? I still have eyes. And I’ll say it again, you two would look great together.”

I snort. “Never going to happen.”

She puffs out a laugh. “Okay. He's a little extra, for sure, but he’s not that bad. You should give him a chance. He might surprise you.”

“I’m already dating a hockey player, and in case you didn’t get the memo, it’s not going so well. You were the one who told me they were d ecent people, and look where it got me.”

She quirks her lips to the side. “Well, there’s always an exception to the rule, right? Plus, I didn’t know you’d fall for a Shark.”

I cross my arms over my chest, amusement twitching at my lips. “So that’s what you’re after, huh? Matching me up with a Raptor to make your life easier.”

Not that I don’t sympathize with her agenda.

Heck, it’d make my life easier. I’ve been in this weird limbo with Lucas for the past two years.

Ever since Marissa moved to New York and we started our business.

With her dad coaching the team and her best friend—now husband—playing for it, it’s no surprise she’s a fierce Raptors supporter.

I also became friends with some of the guys, since they helped us with the store opening.

Athletes had been off my radar following a disastrous relationship with a college football player, but Marissa and the guys convinced me there was something different about hockey culture.

So, when I met Lucas at an event my parents’ company was catering, I let myself fall for him.

Only problem? He’s a Shark, not a Raptor.

Little did I know how big of an impact that small detail would have on my life.

But I try to make it work, going to as many Raptors games as I do Sharks games.

“It’s not that I want you to date a Raptor,” she says, “although, it would be great to have you rooting for our red and blacks. I just want you to be happy.”

I breathe out a long sigh. I get what she’s saying.

In fact, I’ve been thinking about my relationship with Lucas a lot lately.

Ever since this year’s training camp and pre-season kicked off.

We barely talk, let alone see each other.

And even if I understand why that is, it sucks to always come second.

How ironic is it that I see James Adler more often than my own boyfriend? That’s just wrong. Even if he is easy on the eyes.

I hate coming home to an empty house. Lucas is playing his first game of the season tonight, and we exchange a few texts before I head over to the bathroom mirror for my nighttime skincare routine.

I start with a cleanser, then a serum, and I’m done applying my night cream in time for puck drop.

Although watching the game on TV, especially alone, isn’t as fun as being in the arena, I make the most of it.

Marissa offered to come over to watch with me, but I told her to stay home.

I know the toll a hockey season can take on a couple, and I want her and Aaron to enjoy as much alone time together as possible.

I cheer on the players zooming across my TV screen, ecstatic when the Sharks score, especially when Lucas is the one to get the puck in the net.

The game ends 5–2 for the Sharks, and I do a little dance in my pajamas to celebrate. My phone pings on the table, and I pick it up, excited to talk to Lucas after his big win, but it’s only Marissa texting me to congratulate them on their first win of the season.

I wait about half an hour before trying to call Lucas.

He’s not picking up, so I just send him a text instead.

He’ll call me back when he’s able to. It’s always a little crazy after a game.

As I curl up on the couch, I suddenly wish I could be there with him.

Marissa goes to road games with the Raptors sometimes, and so does Hayley, another friend of mine who’s dating a player.

But every time I suggest it to Lucas, he’s against it, claiming he needs to be focused.

Still, being with him when he’s riding that winning high is always my favorite thing.

I put on a movie on Netflix to pass the time, yawning my way through the scenes., My eyelids are already drooping, but I really want to speak to Lucas before bed, no matter how much it’ll sting tomorrow morning.

When the movie credits roll, he s till hasn’t called, and I’m starting to worry. Pacing back and forth in the living room, I call him again, and he picks up after a few rings.

“Hey! What’s up?” he asks, his voice casual.

I swallow hard, plastering a smile on my face, even if he can’t see it. “All good! Just wanted to say congratulations. It was a great game.”

“Thanks. Yeah, we did good. Great start to the season.”

“Absolutely.” I sit down on the couch. “Do you—”

I pause when I hear sounds of movement just off speaker. There’s giggling, then a not-so-quiet “shh” from Lucas himself.

“Are you at a party?” I ask, rubbing the back of my neck. Maybe he’s celebrating the first win with the guys.

“Huh? Why would you say that?” he replies quickly, and my throat goes dry. I know that tone. It’s the I’m lying tone. The I’m cheating tone.

My pulse hammers in my chest, and my body starts to boil. “Are you serious right now? One night away, and you can’t keep it in your pants! I warned you I wouldn’t give you a third chance, Lucas.”

The only response is more giggling in the background and an inaudible conversation. Seriously? He’s not even paying attention to me. I catch him red-handed, and he doesn’t even have the decency to l isten, or even defend himself.

“It’s not—” he starts, but I cut him off. Too little, too late.

“Don’t bother. I’ll be out of your place tomorrow morning.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh. “Beth, come on. Don’t be like that. I’m just hanging out with a couple of friends, that’s all. No need to get all jealous-possessive on me.”

I scoff. Me, jealous-possessive? Now that’s the news of the century. It’s not in my nature. I’ve never been one to check what he was doing or who he was with. But after finding out he cheated on me, I admit I’ve been a little on edge. Can you blame me?

My throat constricts as tears fill my eyes. “Bye, Lucas.”

Before he can reply, I hang up. You know the saying. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And now, here we are, going on number three. It’s high time I put an end to this.

Yes, relationships are not always easy, but they shouldn’t be this hard either. Loving someone requires loyalty, respect, honesty. None of which Lucas is capable of, and I feel stupid for having taken so long to realize it .