Page 62 of Poison Evidence
“Why, then?” he asked again.
“Because I wanted you. I’m sorry you found me lacking, but I wasn’t acting and had no agenda.” She yanked her arm from his grip.
“I found you lacking?” He shook his head. “When did I say that?”
“You accused me of being a whore, then said I’m not the best actress.” Her hands shook as humiliation engulfed her. She curled them into fists to fight the emotion from seizing control. “I said what I did because I’m a dumbass and what we just did meant something to me. But not anymore. Go ahead and give up, but don’t expect me to give a damn when you’re gone.”
She turned and ran up the steps and crawled through the tunnel, determined to get away from him before tears fell.
She reached the top of the island where the solar panels were set up, and curled up at the base of a tree.
Thiswas why she’d given up sex. She’d forgotten it was the heartache that accompanied emotional attachment that had killed her libido.
It was debilitating to have opened herself up to someone so completely—whether it was the man she’d married or a spy she’d picked up at a party—and have him turn so ugly, so insulting, right at the moment when she was most vulnerable.
She’d wanted to give Dimitri a reason to live—a reason to fight. Such a fool to thinkshecould be that reason.
Apparently, Patrick was right. She was lousy at sex. She had the social skills of a robot and only another computer could ever love her.
She swiped at her tears with the heels of her palms. On one level, she knew Dimitri had lied when he claimed the sex wasn’t good, and Patrick was just plain full of shit. But it was hard not to internalize when she’d had so much invested in her marriage, and Dimitri was the first man she’d been with since then. She was rusty, and, well, they hadn’t exactly had a normal relationship progression.
That thought made her laugh as well as cry. The last three words didn’t belong in the same sentence when it came to Dimitri.
She blotted her face with the hem of her shirt. She needed to get her emotions under control and get back to work, or she’d never escape this nightmare.
She stared at the wet blotches on her shirt. Proof Patrick was wrong. She wasn’t a damn robot. She felt as deeply as the next person. Patrick had been the coldhearted prick. He’d just covered it better with his veneer of charm.
“Why did you divorce Patrick Hill?”
She jolted at the question and bumped her head again—this time on the tree trunk. She hadn’t heard Dimitri’s approach.
“Go away,” she said.
“You misunderstood me. Before. When I said you aren’t that good an actress, I wasn’t talking about the sex.”
“I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck. Go away.”
“Sex, being with you, was amazing.You’reamazing.”
“Great. You can post that on Yelp if they have a whore page.”
“I was out of line.”
She finally lifted her head and met his gaze. The mouth she’d devoured—and which had devoured her. Those lips had felt so good on her…everywhere. “Ya think?”
“It’s just, I can’t turn back. Not for you. Not for me. It’s impossible. And when you asked me to cut a deal… Well, you don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Thentellme. Why are you doing this?”
“Why did you divorce Patrick?” he asked again.
She was too raw to go there, to share that pain with this man who’d cut her nearly as deep after she’d surrendered so completely. She pushed up from the ground. The landscape had shifted. Or maybe she had. Either way, she needed a new map to navigate what she’d just discovered was landmine-laden terrain. “I’m going for a hike. Don’t follow me.”
“Ivy, it’s not safe—”
“Just leave me alone. Please.” She pushed aside branches and headed for the saddle of the island. She’d give herself an hour to get her head together, then it was back to the cave to get ready for another night of data collection. She would find the AUUV, hand it over to a team of SEALs, and go the hell home.
Dimitri watched Ivy escape through the thick vegetation. He had no choice but to follow her, for her safety. She was unarmed, and he had no doubt more men from Hill’s former organization were on the hunt for her and CAM.
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